


Salt To Spare

by emojin172



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alya Césaire Ships It, Bee Miraculous, F/M, Humour, Kwamis - Freeform, Queen Bee, Snake Miraculous, adrien is an idiot, but if lovesquare gives me cavities then cavities i shall gladly take, chat noir - Freeform, chloe is fierce, currently editing the whole thing, dragonbug, félix hates life, giving me cavities, kwami - Freeform, lots of fluff, mari is adorable, miracuclass, ml salt, nino is chill, there's some really good outfits at one point and i actually haven't forgotten them, won't be updating for a bit cos i'll be busy beta-reading 80k
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2019-10-22 04:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 78,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17655959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emojin172/pseuds/emojin172
Summary: Félix Agreste arrives in Paris. Following his arrival, many curious things begin to happen. Perhaps it is just his odd luck.disclaimer: I own nothing, Miraculous Ladybug is the work of Thomas Astruc(Just to be clear, this doesn't have Bridgette in it. It doesn't have Félix with a curse either, it's just the current MLB universe but with a super snarky dude who questions everything and is generally really salty)





	1. Félix

Félix Agreste had self-control. At least, he’d say that he did. Adrien was always going on about how he had no filter, and everything around him was absolute chaos because he couldn’t ever shut his mouth and keep quiet when one of the infinite snobby rich people he was forced to converse with said something abhorrently stupid. It wasn’t a bad trait to have, in his opinion.

So when Uncle Gabe called him in the middle of a delightful coq au vin, it took everything in him not to swear. That chicken was not waiting patiently for him to finish what could well be arduously long and boring so that he could return to it in its still-piping-hot state of wonder. Still, that didn’t stop him from gritting his teeth and scrunching up his perfectly-maintained facial features in an expression of utter hatred for whoever had the idiocy to stand between him and a hot meal.

“Bonjour, Uncle Gabe, how are you?” he asked, his patience already dripping down a deep dark hole with the rest of the sauce from the chicken. 

“Bonjour, Félix,” his darling uncle replied, unaware of the agitation growing within Félix, who had to have a conversation with his uncle while staring at his steadily cooling lunch (Yes, he knew that it could easily be reheated, but he also knew that there was nothing better than a freshly made plate of something hot, and as soon as someone even so much as looked at a microwave, his scathing words were enough to make them look elsewhere). 

“I’ve been thinking about your modelling career, what with Adrien being able to get plenty of easy photoshoots in a city like Paris, and I was wondering how your career’s going in such a remote place like Russia?” Oh no. This was not good. Fifty euros said Gabe was going to manipulate him into going somewhere stupid, like London or something where it was freezing cold and they didn’t have huge furs like they did in Moscow. 

“Yes, Uncle, my career’s been going very well, I’ve had plenty of photoshoots here, and I’ve been modelling a few winter collections up here, it’s been very refreshing.” And frigid, he thought, but didn’t add that for fear of what Gabe would say next. As always, it would probably be something bad.

“I had an idea yesterday when Adrien mentioned that he was getting rather lonely in the house with hardly anybody around. How would you like to come and stay with us, in Paris? I know it would do wonders for your image, being with the family, not to mention the obvious benefits to myself and Adrien, being together as a family.” Shit. Shit. Code Red, somebody pull the freaking fire alarm, you’re doomed. He sat back in his chair, his mind pulled off the chicken in front of him completely.

“I don’t think that’s really necessa-”

“Nonsense,” Gabriel said, cutting him off. “I’ve already decided, and Natalie’s booked the flight for tomorrow afternoon. I think it would do some good, you and Adrien catching up again. I’ve organised for you to do a photoshoot or two, Natalie will send the schedule sometime this afternoon.” Click. He had hung up. 

Félix was speechless. The only words he could think of saying were a few choice swears, but he decided against it in case there were any people in the rooms next to him because he was positive that if he were to say anything at that moment it would be with no small amount of volume. It was probably best not to annoy the neighbours. 

So he vented out his shock and anger in the only non-aggressive, non-deafeningly loud way he could think of: pacing. He got up, leaving the lunch forgotten behind him, and picked up his temporary house keys on the kitchen table. Félix hardly blinked until he walked out the door and was faced with a barrage of snow, ice and generally unpleasant temperatures, which snapped him out of the trance he was in as he slammed the door shut, gasping (he was on the warm side of it). 

He trudged back to the living room, sat on his couch and began to yell. Loudly. He yelled until his breath was hoarse, and then reflected on all the terrible, gory ways he currently wanted to murder his uncle. Then he thought of Adrien, and the I-told-you-so look he would totally give him if he were in the room with him, and how he would then give Félix a lecture on how he had no self-control and how he also had murderous instincts. So he breathed. In. And out. And in again. He thought about doing a yoga pose for an infinitesimal amount of time but decided against it because yoga poses were beneath him. So he began to pack. Organising things was his only other non-aggressive way of venting his anger (of which there was often a fair bit). He gathered all his clothes and found the suitcase that he’d used to pack for Moscow, then found the other three that he’d also used to pack for Moscow. An alert pinged from his phone when he was almost halfway finished with his second suitcase. Natalie. Well, she was nothing if not efficient.

He opened the link that she’d sent him, dropping his phone when he realized that Uncle Gabe (he was honestly more suited for Uncle Satan) had completely lied when he said that he’d organised “one or two photoshoots”. Bullshit. He had back-to-back photo shoots every other day of the week, all of which he’d be modelling with Adrien for. He loved his baby cousin, but four shoots a day was too much. 

He picked his phone back up and scrolled through the rest of the week. At least he had Fridays off. That was... Something. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Félix hated planes. Unless they were private jets, those were rather nice. It was the public ones that he hated. In the rush that Uncle Gabe had been in getting him to Paris, he’d had to book a public plane because there were no jets available on a Sunday. He found it rather distressing, but thought it would be prudent now to throw a fit in public about having to be shoved into some smelly old seat next to some portly rich fellow who wanted to converse and drink too much wine. Félix walked past the first row of the area marked ‘Business’ with misery. If he had to go to Paris, let it at least be with some degree of style. He almost glimpsed the other area. ‘Economy’. What a dreadful word. His right eye twitched slightly looking at the seats that they were all sitting in. It looked like a nightmare. He swerved, however, into the last row of the decent area, where some angel had left a drinks menu. He leaned back on the recliner and breathed a sigh of relief. He technically wasn’t legal yet, but his birthday was only in a few months and Russians were generally flexible about these things (he’d had an encounter in a bar a year or so ago where someone had challenged him to a drinking contest and the bartender hadn’t batted an eye). So he ordered a glass of Riesling and prayed that nobody was going to sit next to him so that he could have some peace and solitude for the rest of this godforsaken trip. And with that, he took out his novel and sipped from the glass, eliciting some pleasure from the good flavour. Money couldn't buy happiness, but it could certainly buy some decent alcohol. The plane engine started, jolting Félix and splashing a few droplets onto his book. He gritted his teeth and ordered more wine. He was going to need more alcohol to survive this.


	2. Camembert is the root of all evils

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I

Félix took a delicate sip of chamomile tea to quell the sense of desperation he was feeling towards his situation. The overweight man beside him had, of course, gone to sleep. And he snored. Oh God, he snored. All Félix wanted was five minutes of peace so that he could fit in some much-needed beauty sleep before he was undoubtedly forced to be in one of Uncle Gabriel’s many ‘family photoshoots’. However, the dear fellow next to him was not having any of it. His snoring practically vibrated the chair that Félix was sitting on, the sound rumbling deep within his chest and snorting out his nose in the same fashion that Félix would expect a very large, fat dragon to breathe fire. Same difference, really. At the moment, Félix’s teacup was rattling slightly on the plate, and a few drips of tea had spilled over the side. Félix was only finding a sliver of peace imagining some of the many excruciating ways that he could torture this man to wake him up, and had almost requested a foghorn from the flight attendant. Now that was showing self-restraint.

The speakers crackled. “Passengers, we are now nearing Paris. However, the recent bad weather has caused some turbulence, so please be ready if and when it hits.” 

No sooner had the speakers stopped crackling than the plane rocked rather violently and Félix waved a rather tearful, heartfelt goodbye to what he had thought was a rather decent cup of chamomile. The man next to him lurched out of his seat and fell back into it just as fast, snoring to what Félix thought could possibly be an even louder degree. Félix almost prayed for his sanity, before steering his mind resolutely to the fact that he was an Agreste, and Agrestes were strong, confident and resilient, and they certainly did not let a fat, snoring man knocking over their tea deter them one single bit. He steeled himself, held his nose high and waved an attendant over.

“A pot of chamomile tea, please,” Félix said it as firm as possible and the attendant hurried off to prepare him one. He thought that at the rate his luck was going, he might need more than one pot to keep him from crying as the plane began to rock again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Félix staggered off the plane, feeling rather queasy. That tea must have had something slipped into it, because it definitely wasn’t as good as the first cup. He was positive that the man next to him had had something to do with it; perhaps he hadn’t been asleep at all and was merely a ploy to drive Félix to insanity? If he had, it was certainly effective. The person who had announced that there was going to be 'some turbulence' was clearly a loony, because that plane rocked so much that Félix was nearly at the point of preferring death over his predicament.

He dragged his luggage as melodramatically as he possibly could, and almost wept with happiness at the familiar, friendly sight of Natalie. The woman didn’t even blink when she saw him, clipboard in hand as always, although her lips curled up slightly around the edges. Félix thought that was a definite sign that she liked him. He was always glad for her organisational skills. The woman could plan the Prime Minister’s wedding in half an hour and still have time and energy for more. She was like a human computer sometimes, he often marvelled at Gabriel’s luck. He speed-walked towards her, unwilling to look unprofessional in public but also extremely over sitting next to the snoring man, who he could see smiling and waving a little at him in the corner of his peripheral vision. He didn’t dare look his way. 

Natalie was as brisk and professional as ever, murmuring a quiet ‘Good afternoon, Monsieur Agreste’, before walking straight to a monstrous black car and holding the door open for him before slipping in the back. 

The inside of the car was no less impressive than the outside; no sooner than Natalie had sat in the seat next to him and closed the doors than the car was off, the Gorilla zooming through the streets with the careful, deep concentration that Félix had only known for him to have. Natalie pressed an invisible button somewhere that opened a compartment in the seat between them that contained a large variety of his favourite chocolates and some other ones that he despised that were probably Adrien’s. He'd never had a refined taste in food like Félix did. The boy would go anywhere as long as there was a croissant in it for him. Félix put it down to his strict diet. If and when Uncle Gabriel got near his diet, he’d have Félix eating tasteless rubbish like those salads they served at vegan shops that had tofu, kale and quinoa with mineral water to drink. Félix shuddered at the mental image, picking a few choice sweets ( a much better assortment than Adrien would ever have chosen) from the compartment to rid himself of the vile thoughts of kale. He nibbled on them happily, the chocolate already making grand plans to create cavities, as the Gorilla drove past all the familiar things that he remembered of Paris: the school that Adrien was apparently going to now, the rather sweet little streets with shops dotting the sides, the Seine with all the little boats trailing along carrying their cargo, a little bakery that he had fond memories of, many years ago, serving excellent macarons. He made a mental note to get some later; who knew how long it would be before Gabriel was going to attempt to restrict his diet and prohibit any sugar from going anywhere near his soon-to-be poor, deprived stomach. Félix had a tall, lean body with his fair share of muscles, but Uncle Gabe was unpredictable. He didn’t want to risk having no emergency stack of carbs for when Gabriel would, undoubtedly, come up with some justification for removing one of the few things that kept him going from his life: sweets.

The Gorilla pulled up outside the house; just as tall, cold and imposing as Félix remembered. A skinny boy with a large tuft of fluffy blond hair was already waiting, bouncing on his toes like gravity didn’t really agree with him, sprinting towards the car before the Gorilla had even turned the corner. Adrien Agreste was just as Félix remembered him, only slightly taller and slightly skinnier. He still had the same happy-go-lucky attitude to everything, which he immediately proved as he ran up to Félix and pulled him into an extremely tight hug before Félix could say so much as hello. 

“Félix!” Adrien’s voice was as squeaky and chirpy as ever, despite it being three or four years since he’d come back to Paris. He only came up to Félix’s chin, even with only a six-month age gap. Félix had to wheeze just to breathe properly, what with how tight Adrien was hugging him. 

“Let me go, Adrien, you ninny, you can’t just grab people, it’s impolite,” Félix commanded, his voice much deeper than Adrien’s and radiating authority. Adrien leaned back and loosened his grip just enough for Félix to see his face properly: Adrien was just as much a sunshine boy as ever. Félix gave him a small smile. After all, the kid was adorable. Adrien then proceeded to give him the biggest grin ever, before dragging him towards the doors. 

“Come on! You have to see Father again, it’s been forever! He’ll be so happy to see you!” Adrien continued to babble about how happy Uncle Gabe would be and how they’d ‘have the best time’ and Félix found himself feeling almost ill about the likely dreadful events to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the past, I've tried to write a couple of fanfics for other fandoms and I ended up deleting them after a few chapters because I didn't have the time to update them or the motivation because the fandom series/movies were already completed and I didn't have an ongoing inspo source, so I don't know if I'll finish this story or if I'll udate regularly but I will try to update as soon as possible, I just haven't figured out a lot of the storyline.


	3. Profiteroles are the epitome of goodness

Uncle Gabe was terrifying. 

There were times when Félix was a bit worried when he had to talk to him, but it was times like this when he knew that either someone was holding Gabriel at gunpoint or he’d been brainwashed by Adrien’s constant sunshine mode.

He was smiling. Félix doubted the man had smiled in decades, let alone at another human being. He was much too full of himself to smile at anything that he hadn’t made with his own bare hands, in his opinion. He stood corrected. Gabriel was, as he kept saying and would continue to say, unpredictable. But he wasn’t sure he was conscious or in some weird dream anymore when, as soon as Adrien stopped dragging him inside the huge doors and babbling at him, Gabriel had hugged him. Félix didn’t even react, he was so shocked. By the time he’d registered what happened, Uncle Gabe had let go of him, and he was still gaping like a fish. Composing himself, Félix clamped his mouth shut and looked questioningly at Gabriel, who had already stopped smiling and removed any traces from his face that it had previously been inhabited by any positivity whatsoever. 

“Félix, I’ve planned for you to be in the same school class as Adrien for the time that you will be staying here. You will also be fencing with him and teaching him piano, as I am well aware that you already know how to play it. You will be spending the maximum amount of time with him to catch up for the time you’ve missed together. Natalie has your schedule.” Natalie promptly handed him the aforementioned schedule, pretending not to notice the grimace that Félix attempted to hide with a dodgy-looking smile that everyone but Adrien could tell was fake. Félix didn’t want to look. He did it anyway, however, when he met Gabriel’s gaze that was just ‘don’t even try me, child’. Félix gulped audibly. Natalie struggled to hide a snicker from behind her clipboard, and Félix thought he could see a mischievous twinkle in Gabriel’s eyes. 

Félix nodded slowly, not daring to look at Uncle Gabe. He cleared his throat. “So, where is my bedroom? I suppose I’ll be sleeping in one of the guest suites?”

“Yes, you’ve got the suite next to Adrien’s room.” Félix slapped his forehead then, trying to pass it off as a mosquito and probably failing. He could tell Uncle Gabe was having a lot of fun with this. Gabe then asked for Adrien to take him there, and of course the kid jumped up with the enthusiasm of a leprechaun and immediately dragged him off again to his new room, leaving the poor Gorilla to bring up all his suitcases.  
Félix had to say, it wasn’t bad. There was a piano in his room, along with a white, four-poster bed that had curtains on it that made him feel like royalty. When he was little and he'd stayed in Paris with Uncle Gabe on visits, he’d draw the curtains shut and pretend he had a little cave all to himself. The room had a large, walk-in wardrobe where he could put all his clothes and shoes, and a little kitchenette in the corner that he’d probably use at some point when he wanted to hibernate in his room for a week and ignore all aspects of human interaction. He was considering using some of the gigantic storage space in the wardrobe as a pantry. He was already making a shopping list. Number one: a full-sized fridge that was bigger than the puny minifridge he’d gotten. There was no way he could fit enough carbs in that. Number two: a cat. Dogs were too big and salivated far too much, hamsters were too vegan and toothy and flamingos probably weren’t common Parisian house pets. Besides, he’d need someone to keep him company who wouldn’t jump up and hug him and gush about quality cereals like a certain blond cousin of his would. He realised how good these ideas were and searched around for a notepad, finding one on a modern-looking grey study that had lots of little shelves and drawers and compartments for folders, just the way he liked it. He scribbled the list down, which so far only comprised of two things, but amended that one he got to the grocery store he’d probably just buy everything in sight, so it wasn’t too much of a problem.  
~~~~~~~~~~  
Félix trotted down a small Parisian street next to the Seine, carrying several bags full of clothes, food and a pamphlet that was supposed to tell him how to construct the fridge that he was having delivered to Uncle Gabe’s place at that very moment. He was on his way back home because all of his bags were too heavy from when he’d stepped foot in a Ralph Lauren store and accidentally tried on too many clothes and also accidentally bought them, which he had to admit wasn’t the worst mistake he’d ever made. On the way back, he’d decided to take the scenic route along the Seine so as to distract himself from the doom he had brought upon himself with the insanely heavy bags. Félix had mostly forgotten what they were full of, but he looked inside one of them and thought it was honestly the closest he’d ever come to diabetes. The scent of a bakery wafted inside his nose suddenly, filling his mind with daydreams of profiteroles and freshly-baked croissants. He forgot about going home and began to float towards the delight that his nose was currently experiencing, not being able to see where it was coming from. Everything else became non-existent to him; in hindsight, if he’d been less careful he could have fallen into the Seine and ruined his new polo shirt. 

Félix wandered through a little park before arriving at the source of his current delectation. It smelled even better up close, if that were possible. Well, actually, what he’d smelt a few blocks ago couldn’t even hold a candle to what it smelled like when Félix went near it. He could see other pedestrians turning around at the traffic lights; stopping what they were doing just to see what was inside this foodie heaven, what could possibly be creating that beautiful scent of deliciousness that made Félix’s insides feel warm and gooey. And hungry. Extremely hungry. 

He marched inside the bakery, only recognising it as the bakery he had been meaning to get macarons from when he saw Tom Dupain, long-since his favourite baker, bustle in through the doors, with flour all over his apron, coughing quite dramatically. Félix rushed over to pound his back so he’d be able to breathe properly, already having dropped his 'groceries' before the man leant back up to meet his eyes before grinning in recognition to match Félix’s expression. 

“Félix! I didn’t know you were here! What a wonderful surprise! What are you doing here?” Tom hugged him tightly in one of his special bear hugs that Félix always felt comfortable in (despite a little bit suffocated), not remembering the flour until he’d pulled back and realized it was all over Félix. Félix, however, was not irked in the slightest.

“Uncle Gabriel insisted that I come to Paris to spend time with my cousin. He didn’t really give me room to say no. It’s lovely to see you, though”, Félix remarked, smiling back at Tom and trying to ignore the flour that had made the poor man’s cheeks grow slightly red. 

“I haven’t seen you for a very long time. You’ve grown quite a lot since then. Where have you been?” Tom asked, his excitement palpable and contagious. 

“Well, I’ve been modelling a lot internationally. Most recently I was the cover of a ‘Vogue’ article, we did the photos in Russia for a winter theme.” Félix tried not to boast. The struggle was futile. Tom, however, smiled warmly at his modesty (or lack thereof) and put his arm around him. Félix made a small, content smile at the gesture. 

“Come on, I’ve got to finally introduce you to my daughter, Mar-” Tom looked up halfway through his sentence, and upon spying a girl with dark hair who looked around Félix’s age peeking around the corner of the kitchen door, obviously eavesdropping, he stopped and ran after her. She gave a squeak of terror, sprinting away like a bunny caught in headlights. Félix wondered if she was always like this. Oh well, at least she was born into a family that made great macarons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for liking and commenting, it means a lot to me to see people liking my writing. I'm looking for someone to beta read the story, so if you'd like to do that, please message me and let me know. Otherwise, please just point out any mistakes in the comments. I'm going to do the backstory for how Félix and Tom know each other in the next chapter. Also, I'm thinking of doing Marinette's POV next chapter. What do you guys think? I'll update again some time this week, if all goes according to plan. Until then, please like and comment! :)


	4. Marinette is a marimess

Marinette

Marinette was making bread rolls. Well, she’d say making, but all she was doing was squishing the dough too much and looking out the window, thinking about Adrien’s smile, Adrien’s hair, Adrien’s eyes…

A loud crash snapped her out of her daydreams, bringing her back down to earth. She peeked through the door timidly to find her father grinning down at a tall blond boy. Marinette was momentarily thrilled before she craned her neck and realized it was just some other blond boy.

She sighed in disappointment, hoping it might’ve been Adrien. She listened in on their conversation anyway, curious to see why her father looked so happy. 

“…Modelling a lot internationally. Most recently I was the cover of a ‘Vogue’ article, we did the photos in Russia for a winter theme.” The blond boy spoke with the sort of confident arrogance she often heard from Chloe when she was boasting about some new limited-edition purse that she’d gotten. 

She squinted, wondering why he looked familiar. Maybe it was his uncanny resemblance to Adrien, but she could’ve sworn she knew him from somewhere. Her father smiled and put an arm around him, before saying something and looking back at her. Marinette made a small squeak of terror and ran off, out through the back door in the kitchen and onto the street, because she knew she’d get in trouble if she was caught eavesdropping. Which she had been. Shoot. She looked around in a panic, darting away when she made eye contact with her father, who did not look happy. He ran after her immediately, the blond boy following close behind. 

She dashed past another shop and turned the corner, hiding in the shadows and praying that she hadn’t been seen. A sense of unease washed over her, and she got that feeling that people had in the movies when they knew that the scary thing was right behind them. And it was. Or rather, he. Tom Dupain stood behind her with his arms crossed and a steely expression on his face, the blond boy panting and jogging up to them.

“So… fast.” Félix hardly got a word out before Tom picked Marinette up with one hand and, to her deepest chagrin, hauled her up over his shoulder and walked back to the bakery. Félix widened his eyes and decided not to ask questions, albeit despairing a little at the thought of more unnecessary exercise. He was fit, sure, but Tom and the other girl went at speeds that even he couldn’t keep up with. It was probably from carrying huge sacks of flour. He would put good money on this girl being absolutely ripped. 

Marinette pummelled her fists into the rock-hard back of Tom Dupain. Tom was, as always, undeterred by this, as it wasn’t the first time she’d been caught doing something wrong where her first instinct had been to run away. 

“Let me down, Papa!” She whined, utterly humiliated. The blond boy would probably think she was an overreacting, anxiety-prone weirdo now. Well, she was, but it was usually helpful to drop that bomb after the first impression had already been made. 

Her father continued to carry her back to the bakery, not sparing a glance for the onlookers in the streets who were staring at how conspicuous they were being. Marinette was making a bit of a racket, to be fair, and Tom was a huge man even when he wasn’t carrying his teenage daughter over his shoulder. Marinette resolved to just hang there, her face going bright pink when she turned her head and made eye contact with the confused boy beside her.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Marinette slumped down in her chair in the bakery, sitting across from her father with Félix in the very awkward no-man’s-land. Tom raised an eyebrow. She huffed and looked away. 

“Marinette, you know you’re not allowed to eavesdrop on other people,” her father scolded her.

“Yes, Papa,” she sighed, miserable that they had to do this in front of the guest. Her father was being merciless today. 

“And you know I don’t like you running off all the time,” Tom continued, his eyes trained on his daughter. 

“Yes, Papa,” Marinette sighed again, resigned to her fate.

Her father brightened up suddenly. “Now that we’ve covered that, there’s someone I’d like for you to meet. This is Félix.” Félix looked up in surprise at being mentioned, completely forgetting that he didn’t know this girl after the wild afternoon they’d had. He offered his hand for her to shake, and she took it after a moment of hesitation. This whole encounter was weird. 

“Hi, I’m Marinette,” she shook his hand with too much vigour to try and make it less awkward and slapped her forehead at her stupidity. Félix squinted at her in confusion. “Yeah, I realised,” he chuckled, trying to ease the elephant-in-the-room vibes that Tom was completely oblivious to. He was smiling like there was free cake, looking between the two of them like there was something they’d been missing all along, and they were secret long-lost siblings or something. 

Tom waited patiently for them to finish their little pool of awkwardness, bobbing up and down slightly. He looked between them again, and then they looked back at him, not really knowing what to do. He raised his eyebrows giving them some sort of meaningful look, then gave up at their cluelessness. 

“Well? Don’t you two recognise each other?” Tom almost cried when they gave him another look of confusion, looking at each other, then back at him, then at each other. Then they both squinted at each other in thought. 

“Fifi?” Marinette asked tentatively, bracing herself for embarrassment when she would undoubtedly be proven wrong.

“Ned?” Félix asked with similar trepidation. Then they stood there for a moment, gobsmacked, with Tom standing like a proud father in between them. He probably thought he was. Félix’s mouth hung open like a fish. “Huh,” he said, not really knowing what to say, or whether this conversation had just become more awkward or less awkward. Marinette was internally slapping her forehead. 

“Now you remember! Finally! When you were kids, you’d play with each other all the time. Your father, Félix, as you remember, is a good friend of mine. We used to be neighbours during school, where I’d come over and teach him how to bake. And later I babysat you two together when he was at work meetings, and he babysat you two when Sabine and I were too busy with the bakery! Is it coming back to you now?” Tom really resembled a giant teddy bear at that moment, cheeks puffed up in pride and a huge smile on his face. 

Marinette laughed nervously, unsure of whether she should hug Félix or not, and whether he wanted to hug her, and whether she wanted to hug him, and whether she was an idiot for panicking about hugging, so she just went for it. Félix was still for a moment, then lay a careful arm around her and tried to imitate what she was doing. He wasn’t much of a hugger. She leaned back and smiled tentatively at him, and he twitched his lips.

“Are you going to school here?” Marinette asked.

“Yeah, College Francoise Dupont, I think, have you heard of it?” Félix wondered if she went to a nearby school.

“Actually, I go there. I guess I’ll be seeing you around?” Marinette meant for it to come out more authoritative, but she had sort of forgot what was going on and was getting hungry. She wanted to bake, damn it. Félix had the same idea, and when he’d realised there wasn’t much more to say, he requested sustenance. 

“I was wondering if I could buy a croissant or two? That was why I came here in the first place, but I forgot in all the hubbub.” Marinette blushed deeply at that, and her father gladly welcomed Félix to the cakes counter, assuring him that everything was free of charge (he later found a fifty-euro note tucked away in a flower pot). Félix helped himself to three croissants when he couldn’t choose a cake and a few extra macarons that Tom had thrown in, vowing to himself that he would try every cake they had on the menu. Once he’d gotten his food, Marinette waved him off with a passing “Bye, Fifi!” that he would be thinking about for a long while yet. He still wasn’t sure whether he was okay with the nickname, but Marinette was probably the only person he’d ever allow to say it to him.

After Félix had gone, Marinette threw herself into baking, aiming to make fifty of her famous choc-chip cookies to share with her classmates on the first day of school the following day. She hoped that she’d see Félix there too. Little did she know, Félix had been thinking the same thing. Little did either of them know, they’d definitely be seeing each other the next day. And there were more than choc-chip cookies to look forward to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again guys! A guest left a comment today with a suggestion for a new title and another guest left one telling me not to delete this fic (by the way, other guest, please don't worry I'll just have a dodgy update schedule) and I have decided to rename it "Salt to Spare" so props to the guest that left the comment! On another note, I recently had an epiphany and Félix is gonna have a new love interest (not Marinette). I don't currently know when I'll put this in but it should be before chapter 10, so buckle up for conspiracy theories! (And from now on, Mari and Félix are just gonna be partners in crime). 
> 
> So basically Tom knew Félix's dad from college and they babysat the other person's children and that's why they have the nicknames for each other but it was kinda awkward because whenever I've met a childhood friend from when I was five, it was waaaaay more awkward than this, so that's why they had the nicknames for each other. Thanks for reading, and please like and comment!


	5. Félix vs Lila: the Salty Showdown

Félix woke up to Adrien's morning face. Not a pretty sight (it was beautiful). The boy was chirping like a glowing sunshine bunny on steroids that liked to invade fridges and was happily munching on some sugar-filled bowl of cereal (that he'd probably stolen from Félix's fridge) in a large, comfy red armchair in the corner of the room. There was a little table next to him, strewn with brightly-coloured lolly wrappers. When Adrien noticed Félix had woken up, he put down his cereal and ran to hug him. 

"Bonjour, cousin!" Adrien buried his face in Félix's silk pyjamas, which Félix now feared might have a milk stain from the moustache Adrien was sporting after eating too much sugary cereal. Adrien pulled back and looked up at him with the sweetest eyes that Félix couldn't bring himself not to smile right back at him. 

"Bonjour, Adrien. I see you found the cereal?" Félix's amused smirk made Adrien's ears go red in embarrassment. 

"Yeah, about that, I kinda found some marshmallows and chocolate chips and put them in?" It wasn't supposed to come out as a question, but Adrien looked like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Except in this case, it was marshmallows. Félix waved it off and smiled at him. 

"Don't worry, Adrien, you're not in trouble. Just ask me next time, okay?" Adrien nodded fiercely, then smiled and ran off back to his room with the horrendous-looking rainbow coloured cereal. Félix smiled and got his clothes out, getting ready for the first day of school.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
They hadn't even walked out the door of the Agreste mansion before Adrien had started gushing about his school friends. Félix wondered if he was as chatty around his friends as he was around Félix. What a positive way to die. 

"Nino's the best, he's a part-time DJ and I hang out at his place sometimes, and we listen to his music! And Alya hangs out sometimes too, and I sit with them at lunch..." Adrien had been going on for several minutes now, and Félix was only half-listening, preferring to look at the scenery. Despite his model status, he loved to people-watch. Parisians were the most entertaining, too. Everywhere, he could see people bustling around to get their shops stocked and ready for the morning rush, rich people out wearing large hats with little dogs in their purses and people sitting at cafes eating croissants with their friends.

When they reached the school, he noticed Marinette walking towards them from the opposite direction. He'd almost forgotten she went to the school. 

"Marinette!" He waved her over, yelling her name so she'd hear properly. She raised a hand to wave back and turned slightly pink and gave a shy smile when she noticed Adrien was walking alongside him. He wondered if they knew each other.

She walked over to them, Adrien finally noticing her and waving. "Bonjour, Marinette! How are you? This is my cousin Félix! He's just arrived in Paris and he's staying at my house! Isn't it cool?" 

Marinette seemed slightly overwhelmed by Adrien's enthusiasm but keeping a calm face nevertheless. "Yeah, that's cool, Adrien. I-I kinda already know Félix, though."

Adrien perked up (Félix wondered how this was possible) with curiosity. "Oh? How?" He turned his questioning gaze onto Félix. 

"We knew each other when we were babies, we were babysat together," Félix explained. "Are you two friends?"

Adrien grinned. "Yeah, Marinette's a great friend of mine." He slung an arm around Marinette's shoulder, which made Marinette blush. Félix could already see the lengths he'd have to go to as her wingman, because this was a potential disaster, if it wasn't already. He knew his cousin was oblivious but damn. 'Félix, the Ultimate Wingman'. Perhaps he could make merchandise. 

They went through the doors of the school, Adrien only letting go of Marinette's shoulder once he'd seen another one of his friends. "Nino!" he shouted joyfully, running over to hug the famous DJ that Félix had heard so much of and not listened about. He looked nice enough if appearances were anything. Going by his headphones that were already around his neck, he was probably an introverted surfer dude. When Nino responded with "Sup, dude!" and gave Adrien a complicated handshake that involved lots of fist bumps and weird shapes being made with hands, Félix knew he was completely correct. 

Marinette went off to greet a red-headed friend of hers near Nino, and Félix was left to his own devices. He looked at the crowd of students mulling in through the doors, taking it all in. There was a goth-girl who was dressed entirely in black and purple, a blond girl dressed in blue who had, for some reason Félix couldn't comprehend, brought a parasol with her to school. It was indoors. Mon Dieu. 

There were other people walking about, too. A towering boy in a black t-shirt was talking to a short girl with rainbow extensions in the corner of the room, and he could see two boys whispering to each other on the stairs leading up to the classrooms, bent over a sketchbook. Félix saw a black limousine pull up outside the school. A girl with short dark hair and a serious expression walked out of it. Her outfit was, Félix had to admit, very good. She caught his eye, giving him a dark stare with her chin held up before stalking off to her classroom. Félix was intrigued.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
They walked into class in little groups, Félix waiting for Adrien to hurry up so that they could sit together. Uncle Gabe wouldn't be happy if he found out that one of them was at the back and the other was at the front - after all, this was supposed to be all about "family bonding". What a laugh. 

Adrien did walk in eventually, gesturing for him to sit at the front table and sliding in next to him, wincing. "Actually, there's something I forgot to tell you ab-"

"Adrien!" Another girl walked in, immediately pouting when she saw Félix sitting in the spot next to Adrien. "What on earth are you doing? Did Ms Bustier switch the seats again? I'll go back and tell her we have to sit together!"

"Actually," said Félix, cutting through the girl's melodramatic monologue, "I'm Adrien's cousin. Félix. And I'm going to be staying here unless you'd rather speak to my father." 

The girl's eyes widened, immediately backtracking. "I'm so sorry! I had no idea! Tell you what, I'll pay for lunch together, how about that?" Félix sighed. This girl was about to get seriously bummed. 

"Adrien and I are going to Marinette's bakery for lunch," Félix decided on the spot. He wasn't sure whether they'd be allowed to, but if Tom's reaction yesterday was anything to go by, they'd be welcomed with open arms. The girl narrowed her eyes almost unnoticeably. Adrien looked at him in surprise, so he kicked his foot under the table and gave him a look. Adrien still opened his stupid mouth, the idiot. 

''Lila, if you want, you could come with us to Marinette's bakery? They have great food, and Marinette will probably be there too." The girl (Lila?) turned up her nose. 

"Thank you, Adrien, for that kind gesture, but I'd rather have lunch with my chef. Did you know, she has a Michelin-star restaurant in New York?" 

Félix raised his eyebrows slightly in approval. He didn't know whether Adrien had done that on purpose or if it was just him trying to be nice around everyone, but it had worked. He could use this to his advantage. Also, he'd be damned if Lila had a Michelin-star chef. "What's their name, Lila?" 

"Hmm? Who?" Lila went with confusion, and Félix was increasingly thinking that the name held very true to the holder. 

"Your chef? If she owns a Michelin restaurant, my uncle would probably know her." Lila's ears went slightly red. 

"Oh! That's the bell! I'll just be off to... my seat," she said, clenching her jaw slightly. Félix's mouth twitched. She slunk over to another seat a few desks away. Good riddance. Although, she'd probably cause some trouble in the future. 

Marinette walked in with the redheaded girl, chatting excitedly about something. Félix waved at her, but not before Adrien had called out "Hey, Marinette!" The poor girl turned bright red, muttering a quiet "Hi, Adrien," as they walked past to sit at the desk behind them. This wingman business was going to be harder than Félix had originally thought. 

The teacher walked in five minutes late. The class was already raucous - peals of laughter, shouting loud enough to permanently damage Félix's eardrums. The teacher, however, was having none of this. 

"Class, please get back to your seats. The lesson has started." Finally, Félix thought, someone who was ready to get down to business. He hadn't been to school for ages, but the last place he'd been to was a whole lot more disciplined than this. It was probably being in the presence of strangers that brought out the hermit in him. He didn't want to socialise. There was a spot up the back next to a redheaded boy that looked rather appealing, if he did say so himself. He didn't look like much of a socialite. Exactly Félix's type. 

The rest of the lesson went relatively smoothly. Félix figured out after a few minutes that Lila was true to her name and lied constantly. The chef thing had been a clue, but she'd been going on about how she was best friends with some prince, and given her manners around Adrien, that was complete rubbish. He'd have to have a word with his cousin to investigate his knowledge of all the lies and exaggeration Lila put into her every sentence. 

The teachers were alright, though. There was one general teacher called Ms Bustier, who seemed nice enough but didn't know how to hold her own against a class full of angsty teenagers, and another teacher called Ms Mendeleiev, who was probably going to end up being Félix's favourite teacher. She shouted a lot at the students who did something wrong because they hadn't been listening and praised the students who had followed the instructions and figured it out without needing help, which seemed rather honourable in Félix's opinion. His thoughts were interrupted by the lunch bell; at the sound, the students filed out of the classroom without waiting for Ms Bustier's dismission. She didn't even call for them to come back. Félix frowned slightly at this, but followed the rest of the group outside and cheered up when remembering that he was going to Marinette's bakery for lunch with Adrien. He almost drooled at the thought of macarons. School had really taken all the energy out of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a longer chapter this time! (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง Félix and Marinette will definitely be my brotp from now on, and they'll use the nicknames from the last chapter a bit more often, but I didn't want to put it into the first interaction after they met again.


	6. Félix needs a hug (or a macaron)

Félix sat down at the bakery at a little table outside, Adrien sitting opposite him. He was lost in daydreams about macarons when Adrien tugged at his shoulder to get his attention. 

"Félix, should we get the food now? I'll see if Marinette can come down with us," Adrien supplied, having already lost the little attention Félix had been paying to him as soon as he said 'food'. 

"Yeah, can I order my own stuff? I'll probably get heaps," Félix smiled at his cousin and Adrien winked at him, sharing his desire for the creations of the Dupain-Chengs. Félix smirked to himself at that. Then he began thinking about which foods he'd get. Macarons, of course, big ones, perhaps five or so, a croissant or two, a quiche, coffee, some cakes, maybe a little tray of petite sandwiches... 

Adrien came back to the table with his arm looped around a frazzled-looking Marinette. Her hair was slightly out of place and her eyes were bigger than the mega-macarons he'd been dreaming of, which was an achievement in itself. She went to the table robotically, her cheeks a deep pink as Adrien pulled out his chair for her before grabbing another one to sit down on next to her. She smiled minutely before jumping up like she'd forgotten something and jogging back into the shop. Adrien's ears drooped, his eyes dropping to the ground and his smile disappearing. Félix tried not to chuckle. 

"Maybe she didn't want to sit with us," Adrien sighed mournfully. He brightened, however, when Marinette came jogging back carrying a _very_ large tray of food. Félix didn't know whether Adrien's delight was due to the food or the girl that had sat down again next to him, unloading the enormous amount of goods onto the table. Adrien almost started hopping in excitement, his eyes continually flicking between Marinette and the food in a nervous grin, until Félix discreetly kicked him under the table. 

"Well, eat up!" Marinette's words were like a ray of sunshine in his cold, dead, hungry heart, and he and Adrien dove into the food gratefully, Marinette smiling at them, but slightly more at Adrien. Suffice it to say, this didn't slip Félix's notice at all. He nudged Adrien's knee under the table, gently this time, and indicated his head and eyes in the direction of the smiling Marinette. Adrien looked up with a mouthful of croissant and a very confused expression. He gulped down his croissant, second one already in his hands, and spoke. "Marinette, I think Félix wants to ask you something...?"

Félix glared at the top of Adrien's hair, that being the only thing he was able to see now that he'd gone back into his heated fight with his food. Really, one would think he'd learnt better manners, what with being Gabriel Agreste's son and a Parisian fashion icon. Then again, Félix didn't think Gabriel allowed him to eat croissants very often. Too much butter, too much sugar, too many carbohydrates, too little quinoa and kale. Ugh. At least he was making up for his lack of sugar now, the absolute pig.

"I was wondering if we should go to the movies or the theatre together? I mean, you two are obviously very close friends, and I need to catch up with Ned, seeing as we haven't seen each other for ages." Adrien swallowed the remains of his third croissant with a loud gulp. Félix winked at him deviously, the younger boy still oblivious to Félix's brilliant matchmaking. He was a genius. 

Marinette, however, was looking at Félix wildly, unsubtle in her internal panic but not unsubtle enough for Adrien 'Oblivious' Agreste to notice, the utter dolt. "No, no, you two should catch up! I mean, you haven't seen each other for ages either, and I'm sure that's much more important, and I'm no fun to hang out with, I'd only interrupt your... boy time, so you should just go without me." Adrien looked up with incredulity, immediately going to defend the grace of his future wife (if Félix had anything to do with it). 

"What? No! It's heaps of fun hanging out with you! You're the most fun friend I have, Marinette, you should totally come with us!" Félix was equally jubilant and disappointed at how easily it had been to trap Adrien. He'd practically jumped in. Félix ignored Adrien's butt-kissing of Marinette, focusing on the despair and angst that was bound to come from the awkward friend-zone Adrien had just put Marinette in. He wondered if he did that a lot. It was absurd, all things considered, because anyone with a brain bigger than a pea could see their chemistry and notice the deep red colour that Marinette's cheeks had gone after Adrien had finished all but proclaiming his love to her. Clearly, Adrien was not bright when it came to romance. He truly had been blessed with such a gifted cousin, in that case.

"Uh-um okay, I guess, that would be really fun," Marinette smiled shyly at Adrien before sending a grateful look to Félix. The boy shook his head, brushing it off, before taking a large bite of the yearned-for macaron. It was just as good as he'd hoped, causing a content, pleased expression to wash over his face. Félix rubbed his now-full belly. He'd best grab some more cakes before heading back off to school with Adrien, where he could discuss the fashion sense of that atrociously-dressed Lola girl. No, that didn't sound right. Lily? Félix dismissed the thought, resolving that the girl wore too much orange and that was all he really needed to know. And she lied too much. Lila. That sounded right. It corresponded to her independence of the truth, at least. 

"Marinette, could I grab some pastries before Adrien and I head back to school?" Félix asked, knowing Marinette would probably say yes due to her unending generosity. If he was indeed forced to go dieting by Uncle Gabe, at least he'd have Marinette to give him the life-saving macarons he so desperately craved. Marinette jumped up immediately.

"Of course!" she replied, a perpetual smile on her face, "I should probably get back soon too. I had lunch earlier, but I might have another quick snack before getting my stuff and going." She sped inside the store and behind the counter, ignoring the other customers in the shop that were looking in curiosity towards the girl who had walked right inside and behind the register. "What would you like, Monsieur Agreste?" 

Both boys opened their mouths to answer at the same time, unanimous in their love of food. "Macarons," "Croissants," they chimed at the same time, looking at each other and gesturing for the other Agreste to go first. They then said it at the same time, before sighing and yelling it at each other. Marinette, however, had already packed four croissants and six macarons into two brown paper bags, handing it to them before they'd even stopped arguing about who should order first. The boys looked at her in surprise, both now fishing for a few euros to pay for it, Marinette realising what they were doing and stopping it immediately. 

"It's free of charge, boys, there's no need. You're both my friends, and friends always get a discount," Marinette said it resolutely and without room for argument, though they did try to protest slightly. 

"Marinette, it's alright, I have plenty of spare change-"

"No, I won't hear another word. It's free and that's _final_." Marinette somehow managed to give them free sweets threateningly, both boys quietly marvelling at her authority within the bakery. Marinette was a force to be reckoned with, that was for sure. Félix smiled gratefully at her, Adrien doing the same. She had a light blush on her cheeks from Adrien's soft look and sent Félix a warm expression instead. 

He checked his watch, his happy expression turning to one of alarm when he noticed it was five minutes until lunch ended and they were due to be back at school. Marinette caught on to his panic, looking at the clock in the bakery and wordlessly running upstairs to grab her books. 

"Marinette, it's-" Félix never finished his sentence, watching as Marinette dashed back down the stairs and out the door with nothing but a "Sorrygottagogonnabelatebye!"

Adrien mirrored Félix's shock, uttering nothing but "She's so fast," before Félix tugged on his arm, following Marinette back to school (at a much slower pace) where they would undoubtedly be yelled at by Mme Mendeleiev. Shoot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for updating late (actually it might have been on time idk i'm a mess and time is just a concept) but we have a fluffy scene at the bakery and a bit of confrontation next chapter between Adrien and Félix regarding the whole lie-la disaster and Mari will never be akumatized again because now she's got Félix backing her up when Adrikins is being too soft >.<  
> Also, while writing the chapter I accidentally discovered another possible title (sorry if I'm changing it too much I just can't decide which is better): 'The Other Agreste'. Tell me what you guys think in the comments!


	7. Battle Of The Minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we have some fluffff! adrienette begins and félix finally finds out what the heck is up with lila (∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆  
> also  
> messieurs = sirs/gentlemen  
> mme = madame/miss  
> I realised there was a plothole because Lila gets back the week before Félix's first day of school but I've just edited it so that it's only his first day and everyone else had already been back for about a week after chameleon was set :)  
> sorry about updating late! been a pretty hectic week, but i did do a slightly longer chapter, so i hope you enjoy!

Félix was not afraid of teachers. Teachers were afraid of him. Most of the time. Unfortunately, this one wasn't.

Mme Mendeleiev towered over him and Adrien, despite only being a few centimetres taller. He thought she would do an excellent impression of a stooge if it ever came to it, except it probably didn't look all that different from the dark glare she had on her face. "Messieurs, detention," Mme Medeleiev ordered, her mouth set in a grim line. Adrien immediately protested, opening his mouth with a look of distress.

"But Mme, we were only late by two minutes!" Adrien cried. "You can't give us detention for two measly minutes! It's not fair!" Félix had to admit, he had a point. The most they would've done was procrastinate for a bit and shut up for a few minutes after every time Mme Mendeleiev would threaten to give them detentions. She really needed to loosen up a bit if she wanted to effectively teach a group of rambunctious teenagers. 

Marinette stood up as well, marching over to Mme Mendeleiev. _Oh no_. "Mme, as class president, I believe that we should let the boys off with a warning, seeing as Félix is a new student and doesn't know the rules around here. This will allow them to come to class on time and be more productive," she finished it off with an award-winning smile, before winking at Félix out of the corner of her eye. Félix blinked. That went better than expected. Maybe Marinette was just really good under pressure. 

The teacher furrowed her eyebrows in consideration of Marinette's proposal before nodding. "Very well, Marinette, that sounds reasonable. Boys, sit down, and don't let me catch you late to class again." Both blondes sat down, in awe of how Marinette, the shy, bumbling Marinette, had managed to avoid them detentions. _That was impressive_ , Félix thought. Adrien smiled at Marinette in gratitude. After that, she was practically floating on air around the classroom, until she managed to mix up her acids and ended up with unidentifiable green goo all over her lab coat. Then Mme Mendeleiev gave her a detention.  
~~~~~~~~~~

After class, Adrien jogged up to Marinette, who was walking with Alya, looking glum. "Marinette!" She immediately turned around at the address, waiting as a panting Adrien caught up to her, Félix following close behind. She waited a moment for Adrien to catch his breath, giving him a small patient smile, before squeaking when Alya elbowed her. "H-hey, Adrien, what's up?"

Alya whispered something in her ear and Marinette turned an odd colour of beetroot. Adrien caught his breath (finally). "Marinette, d'you want me and Félix to do the detention with you? You did save us from ours, so we should at least keep you company." Félix didn't really want to do detention with Marinette and his little cousin, but he knew that Marinette would do the same for him, so he relented, already half-regretting it. He did not want to do detention with Mme Mendeleiev. "Yeah, Marinette, we'll come and study with you." Marinette brightened up at once. "Really, guys? Thanks so much!" Then she went and hugged them both, really tightly, and Félix didn't think either of them were able to breathe. For such a tiny girl, Marinette was seriously strong. She let go of them after a few extremely awkward seconds where Félix and Adrien felt like they were being squeezed to death (what a lovable way to go) before Marinette stood back, quite content.

~~~~~~~~~~

"No, you can't do detention together," Me Medeleiev said firmly. "You just got out of it this morning, and now you're telling me you actually want to do it?"

"Yes!" Both of the Agrestes said it very heatedly, with Marinette sitting off to the side with her books open, hatching a plan and grinning deviously. "Mme, how hard is it to just let us do detention? We want to do it, doesn't that make it easier for you?" Adrien pleaded. Félix shared a glance with Marinette, who telepathically communicated her plan (it was mostly interpretative) and sent him a serious nod. Félix looked around the class, finding a little bucket of paint up the back fo the class where the redheaded boy had been sitting. He crept up to the back of the classroom while Adrien and Mme Mendeleiev were arguing, and grabbed the little bucket of orange paint, keeping it behind his back as he crept back up to the front. Neither of the other two had noticed him, but Marinette winked at him in understanding. 

"Detention, Adrien Agreste! Backtalk is no way to address a teacher!" Mme Medeleiev bellowed, her face a shade of red to rival the painter boy's hair.

Félix chose this exact moment to dump the bucket of orange paint onto the livid teacher's hair. Which only served to make her more livid. Orange really wasn't her colour. Félix briefly wondered if he should tell her but wisely decided against it. She stood up, sputtering and wiping the paint off her glasses, before pointing an accusatory finger at him. "And _you_ , Mr Agreste, shall me having detention with me for a fortnight." Whoops. Marinette winced, looking apologetic as both boys sat down next to her on the bench, a tiny bit of paint on them due to the splattering that Félix had given the teacher. He didn't think it suited him either, to be honest. That was a first.

Marinette whispered an apology to them, Adrien whispering back that it was fine and he was just glad to be there with her, inducing a knowing smirk from Félix. He sent a discreet text to Adrien, who turned his phone on silent but checked it anyway, looking genuinely surprised when he saw what Félix had written. 

_lovebirds_ \- Félix 

_we are not! she's just a friend_ \- Adrien 'Just A Friend' Agreste

 _yeah, sure looks like that from the way you've been smiling at her all day_ \- Félix 

_i was just looking out for her! that's what friends do!_ \- Adrien 'Just A Friend' Agreste

 _YOU'VE BEEN STARING AT HER ALL DAY YOU MORON_ \- Félix 

_noooooooooooo no no no i have not you liar what_ \- Adrien 'Just A Friend' Agreste

༼ ಥل͟ಥ ༽ - Félix

Félix glared at Adrien, before shoving his phone in his pocket when the teacher gave him a long, hard stare. It was obvious she'd tried to scrub the paint out of her hair, but the struggle was futile. Now her hair was an ugly shade of brown, with flecks of orange in little patches. She looked really salty, which was understandable, given that the hair would probably stay the ugly colour it currently was for a very long time. He wasn't sure how long it took for paint to come out of hair, but he didn't think it was a two-minute-long deal.

~~~~~~~~~~

Adrien and Félix walked home in a semi-content silence. Adrien seemed pretty happy; after Félix had called them lovebirds, he and Marinette had done a lot less study than they probably should've been doing, which made him happy even though he was still oblivious to Marinette's incredibly obvious crush on him. Félix, however, was thinking about Lila. The girl seemed to be harmless at first sight, but she seemed to be vying for Adrien. Possibly against Marinette. He couldn't really see Marinette hating anyone, but if she did, Lila was a very strong candidate. 

"What's up with Lila?" Félix posed the question carefully, wanting to know how much Adrien knew about her. 

"Oh yeah, well, she kinda lies sometimes, so I'm not too close with her, but I think we're friends?" Adrien seemed unsure about his answer, scratching the back of his neck, but Félix wasn't focused on that. Adrien _knew_.

"You know she lies?" Félix was more specific this time, not letting Adrien get away with anything other than needlepoint specific. Adrien began to look slightly uncomfortable. 

"Uh, yeah, but she doesn't really do any damage, so I just told Marinette not to confront her, because then she might get akumatised...." Adrien was sounding less and less confident by the minute. 

Félix was just confused now. "Wait, Marinette knows? Who else does? Why does she want to confront her?"

"Um, you see... there was this thing about a week or so ago where Lila came back, and she was lying a lot, so Marinette wanted to prove that she was lying, because everyone else believed everything Lila said, they still do, and she got sent up to the back of the class.." Adrien looked really guilty at that point, lowering his head and looking away from Félix. That was a tell-tale sign.

"And what did you do? Did you help her? Why was she sent to the back of the class?" Félix was getting more and more suspicious of Adrien's role in all this. 

"Well, I told her not to out Lila, because she was akumatised before when Ladybug did it, a while back, and I thought that she might do it again..."

"I see." Félix was disappointed in Adrien. Honestly, he should have known better. And by the sounds of it, Marinette had been shunned by the rest of the class and Adrien had done nothing. He'd have to ask Marinette about it tomorrow morning. Until then, he'd just keep Adrien from a tight leash and stand up for Marinette if anyone else was being a bit too snarky for his liking. There was a good chance that she was the only person who didn't believe Lila's lies, apart from Adrien, although if he hadn't encountered it head-on from Ladybug, Félix didn't know if Adrien would even be able to tell. He was completely oblivious to everything, so Félix wouldn't put it past him. Perhaps he needed to prove Lila's lies wrong. After all, her bragging about having met the Crown Princess of Mongolia all day was unbearable after thirty seconds' worth of it, though he was pretty sure she didn't speak a word of Mongolian, otherwise she'd be bragging about that too. Félix started hatching a plan. He couldn't think of anything yet, but he was sure by tomorrow that it would be impeccable and would destroy Lilia's fictitious tales.


	8. Dark Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mystery character POV!!! try and figure it out in the first chapter! i've also got felix and marinette's POVs :) i've been doing nanowrimo so that's why this chapter's longer and early, and i should have the next chapter up within a week because i'm trying to write a thousand words a day (tbh i'm actually doing okay) but i keep forgetting to actually update because i'm too busy writing lol. anyway, hope you like it!

She woke up. She wasn't quite ready to get up, but she was content to lay in her bed just for one more minute and think about what her family were up to. Her father was in his study, of course. At this time of morning, he'd probably been working for three hours. Her mother, however, would be in the drawing room, rereading _Don Quixote_. Her breakfast would be in the dining room, already having been prepared and kept cool in the kitchen by the staff. Any minute now, Cecelia would knock on her bedroom door and request for her presence in the dining room to eat. She rolled out of bed, groaning when she saw the terrible bedhead she was sporting in the mirror on the wall opposite her. She'd been rolling around the night before, restless. She hadn't gotten much sleep and she could feel a migraine coming on. She groaned, massaging her temples and standing up with a slight wobble, ambling over to her dresser for a hairbrush to calm her tangled mess down. 

A knock. _There it is_ , she thought. _Right on time._

"Mademoiselle? Your breakfast is waiting," a voice called.

"I'll just be a minute, Cecelia, I have to get dressed," she called back, stretching and reaching for her blazer. Sunlight filtered in her room through the window, filling the room with dappled light. She tugged on her socks and clambered off her bed, ready for breakfast.

It was a solitary affair. Her parents were still keeping to themselves; she was sure that it would be a quiet day. She sat at the mahogany table, eyes fixated on her toast. She didn't really feel like eating, so she excused herself and left the empty room.

~~~~~~~~

School was a lonely affair. Madeline, her one other friend, wasn't there that day because she was at home, ill. The girl had no desire to sit around the boisterous, laughing teenagers at the front of the room, all gossiping about the latest false rumour. She preferred to stay with the quiet, kind types, of which there were a precious few. People like that didn’t come in abundance.

It was only on her way home that something happened. 

An akuma, hoisting itself through the air, propelled by an invisible force, launched itself at her. Its appearance was that of a monster, one which was whispered in quiet, fearful tones at night in a storm. Its face was pale, two huge fangs dripping with venom, too large to fit within its mouth, its head poised to strike. It had multiple limbs that looked similar to tentacles, pulsing a deep, dark black, almost looking like a shadow. It had two eyes, thank goodness, and a mask, but it had blond hair. The same blond hair, that had it been on any non-akumatised person would have made them look very similar to a blond boy she knew.

"Kagami." The creature hissed, moving too fast for her to fully see it, swooping down and grabbing her by the waist, carrying her high in the air. Kagami screamed an earsplitting shriek that made the akuma wince before turning back to her, more menacing. It flew through the air, untouched by gravity, unscathed by her and unseen by Paris. 

"Wait here, while I collect my other little 'friends' that have done me wrong," the akuma left her, dropping her down ungracefully to land on the Eiffel Tower. Kagami began to think of a plan, her brain somewhat frozen in fear at the impossible height she was at. Heights were not her forte. Neither was being targeted by an akuma, but by the sounds of it, there were more people coming. She dearly prayed that the Ladybug and Chat Noir would come and save her. Until then, she'd have to figure a way to get down by herself. 

Kagami leaned over, estimating how high up she was, still a little numb with shock. About three hundred metres. She gulped. From her point of view, there was only one way down. Climbing the tall, spiderweb chain of metal posts that made up the frame of the Tower. It'd take a lot of guts to climb down. Inhaling deeply, she willed herself to move. Placing one hand on the fence surrounding the area she had been left in, she swung herself over it and placed a tentative foot on the first iron beam. Wind whipping against her face, Kagami steeled herself to climb, slowly but steadily, down the Tower. 

A hand swiped at her waist, unlodging her carefully placed hands and feet, putting her in freefall. She was too shocked and numb from the cold to say a word, only blinking to her senses when the same hand caught her and carried her back up to the top, dropping her down with another confused-looking person. Kagami thought he looked similar, but she couldn't place him. The akuma, however, was pacing back and forth, agitated. 

"You can't escape! I won't let you! I have to keep you here, I have to!" Kagami thought this person was a bit of a nutter if she was being honest, but that was probably the akuma talking. Said akuma was now smirking ominously at them.

"You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to leave you trapped up here, while I find the third one. Don't touch the fence, whatever you do," and with that, he swung off the railing and vanished out of sight.

Kagami turned to the other boy in dismay, his expression mirroring hers. He furrowed his eyebrows in recognition. "Wait... don't I know you? I saw you at the school a couple of days ago," and Kagami nodded unsurely. "It's nice to properly meet you. My name's Félix." Kagami offered him a small smile before taking the hand he had held out to shake it. 

"I don't think now's the time for niceties and introductions, Félix. We need to figure a way out of here. I think Ladybug and Chat Noir are coming, but they might not come soon enough."

Félix frowned. "Who are Ladybug and Chat Noir again? It rings a bell, but I can't think of it off the top of my head." 

Kagami raised her eyebrows. "They're the superheroes? How do you not know? All they do is run around saving people and doing magic stuff, it's not exactly subtle unless you're a hermit."

Félix shrugged, indifferent. He probably knew of them, just not the minor details like how there was some crazy magic supervillian who'd decided to make his evil code name a type of moth. Details, details.

“How can we get out of here?” Kagami asked, racking her brain to think of a way to escape. She’d already tried climbing down, and while that had been momentarily successful, the akuma had done some evil magic thing to the railings, so Kagami didn’t want to touch them if at all possible. 

Félix didn’t have a better solution. “Wait for help?” he offered, deflating a little when Kagami huffed and turned away. He bristled slightly, annoyed. “Well, do you have a better plan? Ladybug and Chat Noir will turn up, and until then we need to find some way to help them. We could just try and figure out who the akuma is, for starters.”

Kagami looked back at him, interested. “Yeah, that could work. He said something about us being his friends, I think. Were you with anyone today who seemed really upset? Hawkmoth preys on negative emotions, it’d have to be someone who was really miserable if they were akumatized. 

Félix went white as a sheet. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette bustled around, making macaroons. Her papa was 'helping' her (not really, he was doing a better job of eating the batter than actually making them). She was early for school, for once, because her maman had woken her up so that she could help papa with the macaroons for the school fundraiser soon. They were doing a bake stall, to the nonexistent surprise of everyone who knew them. Her papa was in charge of the large cakes, her maman was in charge of the cupcakes and she, of course, was doing macaroons. Which was currently a sabotaged project, because out of the corner of her eye Marinette could see her papa eating his seventh macaroon. That was the last straw. 

"Papa!" Marinette exclaimed, outraged. Tom stopped what he was doing, mid-mouthful, to look up at her tiny, angry frame with heart-melting doe eyes. It didn't deter her a bit. He tried to brush the crumbs out of his moustache without his daughter noticing to make him look more innocent. He cleared his throat and swallowed the last bit of the eighth macaroon, which made her eyes narrow. “I’m sorry, Marinette, they’re just so delicious! And freshly baked! You can’t blame a poor old man for borrowing a couple of beautiful macaroons that his perfect daughter baked, can you?”

“You can’t keep eating my macaroons! I haven’t touched any of your cakes, and I need to keep making them for the fundraiser! With all the preordering, I have to make five hundred macaroons! Do you even understand how much that is?!”

Marinette considered letting him off with a warning, not knowing what else she could do about it. Then she had an idea. “You know, I’ve got to get to school soon, so you should probably just make the rest of the macaroons yourself, seeing as you love them so much, so you’ll love baking them even more!” Tom frowned, unwilling to accept his fate but also unable to do anything about it. 

“I… suppose that’ll have to do,” he sighed as his daughter beamed and rushed up the stairs to get her schoolbag, before running up to him and kissing him on the cheek. “Love you, Papa!” she said sweetly, before running out the door and leaving Tom all on his own, with three hundred and fifty macaroons still waiting patiently to be baked. Oh, well. 

~~~~~

Marinette met up with Adrien and Félix at the school, a smile on her face as she walked into class with them. Félix chose to sit next to her, since after yesterday’s debacle he didn’t really want to leave her alone with anyone else in the class, except maybe Adrien. Lila didn’t say a word to Marinette, opting to side-eye her and Adrien from the back of the class, alone. Alya walked in, noticing the lack of seats next to Marinette. 

“Félix, can you get up, please? My spot’s next to Marinette,” Alya said, polite but a bit haughty. 

Félix coolly shook his head. “No, thanks, I’d rather stay here instead.”

Seeing the daggers Alya was throwing at her friend, Marinette piped up. “Well, Alya, he did get there first and he’s new, so he probably needs help finding his way around still. There’s a spot up the back, though.” Marinette neglected to mention that said spot was next to Lila. 

Alya glowered. “Yeah, but this is my spot! I’ve sat here every day of the year!” 

“Except for last week, when the class swapped seats without telling me and I was left up the back by myself,” Marinette said icily. “I think it’s best if you just sit somewhere else.” Félix winced. Girl troubles were so much more passive-aggressive than boy troubles, and the looks Marinette and Alya were giving each other would have struck fear into even Gabriel Agreste himself. Ouch. 

So for the rest of the day, Félix sat next to Marinette and Alya sulked in the back next to Lila, who was also sulking {sulking bonding time!}. Lila wasn’t happy about any of it, of course; she only wanted to be next to Adrien to make Marinette jealous, but Adrien was quietly sitting next to Nino and Marinette was too busy whispering with Félix the entire time. It was not a good day for her. 

Félix noticed later in the day that Adrien hadn’t really spoken to him much. They’d walked to school together, but Félix had been content about yesterday and didn’t notice the lack of conversations that they’d been having. To think of it now, Adrien had been quiet all day. The boy in question was currently asking Mme Bustier to go to the bathroom, so Félix took the opportunity to quietly slip out of the room.

He found Adrien in the bathroom standing by the sink, palms pressed to his temples. “Adrien, what’s the matter?” Félix asked, concerned for his cousin. Adrien looked up, anguished.

“How can you even ask what’s the matter? I’ve been thinking about it all night, wondering if I did the right thing, knowing I didn’t and not knowing what to do. How can I help her if I don’t know what to do?” he pleaded. Félix grimaced. This must have been about Marinette. Adrien hadn’t exactly been talkative yesterday after he’d talked to him about Lila, and he hadn’t been his usual overly chirpy self, either. Félix hadn’t suspected anything out of the ordinary, but now he was thinking that the conversation might’ve left Adrien pretty rattled. 

“It’s alright to make mistakes, you know, you just have to acknowledge them and try to make it better,” Félix said soothingly, rubbing Adrien’s back. Adrien sniffled, then turned to him with a red nose. Félix tried to use a gentle voice (it wasn’t very good, he didn’t do it much). “Adrien, what happened?” Adrien looked at him with miserable eyes, slumping.

“Well, I went to school and sat down with Nino, then Lila came in, and since it was her first day of school she didn’t want to sit up the back by herself, and she said she had tinnitus so she had to sit up the front, but since there was no extra space, everyone did a seating change and she sat next to me in the front so that I could help her study. Then Marinette came in and got kinda mad at Lila because she knew she was lying about the tinnitus because she’d lied before, when she became Volpina, but I asked her not to say anything about it because I didn’t think it’d help, and she would just be akumatised again which would cause more trouble. Then she started telling these really farfetched lies and everyone believed her except Marinette, and there was this thing in the cafeteria when Lila said her wrist was sprained so she couldn’t carry her lunch and so everyone else carried it for her, but then Marinette threw a napkin at her wrist and she caught it, but said that it was only to save Max’s eye because it would have hit him, which was stupid, because Max was nowhere near it, he was wearing glasses, and it was a freaking napkin!” Adrien wasn’t done with his rambling, but he had to stop at this point and catch his breath, Félix patting his back as he panted. 

“Go on,” Félix said, astounded by the obliviousness of these people, especially this Max kid, he sounded sketchy. 

“So Marinette got really mad, but then I went to tell her again that it wasn’t the right thing to do if she confronted her and for some reason she actually listened to my terrible reasoning,” Adrien was really getting self-deprecative now, “And another girl, Alya, a journalist, told her to check her facts after she told them about Lila lying so much, even though she hadn’t checked any of her facts about Ladybug. Then Lila was akumatized into Chameleon, so she looked normal, then she kissed me and I fell into some magical deep sleep and she transformed into a walking, talking copy of me. I don’t really know what happened after for a while because I was out stone-cold, but I woke up about fifteen minutes later and tra-” Adrien cut himself off in the middle of his sentence., “-and went to go hide with the others while Ladybug and Chat Noir fought Chameleon.” 

He slid down the bathroom wall and rested his head on his knees, sitting on the dirty floor. Félix decided it would be better to give the poor guy some time alone. By the looks of it, he really needed it. He left Adrien on his own, parting ways with a soft smile before disappearing. 


	9. Chat Blanc

Félix didn’t quite know what to do. 

He knew Adrien was the akuma. He knew it was his fault. And he was really starting to develop an understanding of what it must have felt like for Adrien when he thought he’d done the wrong thing. Félix wished he was there with him now, the old Adrien, not this one. He really needed a hug. 

In the meantime, though, Kagami was pressing the back of her hand to his forehead to check if he had an illness. “Are you alright?” she asked tentatively. Félix groaned and nodded, rubbing his slack jaw.

“I know who the akuma is,” he said. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette groaned. Chat Noir had been akumatised. 

She’d been jogging out of class - it had finished early when it was cut short by the sound of the akuma sighting alarm - when she actually saw the akuma. When someone was akumatised, someone else would see them and sent an alert to the news station, who had placed loud alarms all around the city to get Ladybug and Chat Noir out to fight them. Sometimes it was at a very late hour, which always made Marinette grumpy when she was woken up by the alarm. The only good thing about it was that her tiredness was excused because everybody else was tired too, until the anger from the general public about the insufferably early wakeups was made aware of to the news and they created a website that would have optional notifications so that Ladybug and Chat Noir could operate effectively and it wouldn’t wake up everyone in the district. She always had the notifications turned on, of course, so did Chat Noir. They always met up at the Arc de Triomphe or the Eiffel Tower when there was a late-night akuma - they had become good meeting points, especially when they did patrol. Chat had volunteered to do four days of the week and Ladybug had gratefully done the other three. 

As soon as she’d got the alert, the school bell had rung. All the schools in Paris were hooked up to the same akuma alarm system, which was always on during school hours so that the students could evacuate. Mme Bustier had rushed the students out of class and sent them home; their school, in particular, was always prone to akuma attacks. In fact, most of their class had been akumatised. It was probably just terribly bad luck. 

Marinette was already running out of the door by the time the bell had actually run - her phone buzzed half a second before and she was immediately out the door. The rest of the class followed hot on her heels. She’d only just skidded out the school doors and around the corner before she held eye contact with the akuma. And it made her blood run cold. 

She held his gaze for no less than a quarter of a second before she was off; a gazelle fleeing at the sight of a cheetah. She ducked past shops and through alleyways, trying to lose her new tail. The akuma kept the same, languid pace on the rooftops, never slowing down, never speeding up and never letting her get away. Marinette tried to navigate her way to Master Fu’s shop, somewhere that she could go in to safely transform. She managed to slip inside, unbeknownst to the akuma, immediately transforming and hiding as the akuma tried to creep in.

Master Fu greeted her quietly. “Hello, young Ladybug. Come with me.” Ladybug followed him wordlessly through the little massage shop. The akuma was bound to be hiding in here somewhere already, but they had to get away before he found them. Master Fu led her to an empty room.

“Wha-” she was interrupted by Fu pressing his forefinger to his lips, shushing her. He lifted up an old Chinese rug, the only article of furniture in the room, to reveal a trapdoor. 

“Go through here, Ladybug. You’ll find your way.” Master Fu pushed her through the dark trapdoor, responding to Ladybug’s protests with a silent but firm look. “I’ll keep him at bay,” he murmured. “Go.”

Ladybug nodded, stepping through the trapdoor while Master Fu shut it quietly behind her. She could hear the akuma’s taunting whisper already permeating through the thin walls. “Come out, come out, wherever you are,” he drawled. 

Ladybug fumbled around in the dark for a second, placing her hands on the wall until she found a switch. Pressing it, she illuminated what seemed to be a dimly lit tunnel. Here we go.

The akuma hissed, tail swishing. _Hurry now, Dark Knight_ , Hawkmoth’s words crept into his brain. _I need you to hold up your end of the bargain. Find the Miraculouses._ Dark Knight ignored him. The little massage shop was an odd place for the princess to hide, but he would find her wehether she liked it or not. Her little escapade around the city didn't faze him; rather, it only made the hunt more exciting. He needed to find her and bring her back with the others. He needed to keep them with him. He needed to protect them. He didn’t want to be lonely. _Knight, find Ladybug and Chat Noir and take their Miraculouses!_ Hawkmoth’s insistence was becoming more of a buzzing sound in his mind, a dull ache, unwilling to heal. “I need to find her,” he persisted. He was still trying to find her, Ladybug could come after. Chat Noir’s ring lay untouched in his bedroom, locked up in a safe. Nobody was going to find it, least of all Hawkmoth. Ladybug, however, he was willing to fight. 

He had already searched the rooms, finding nothing except a rolled-up bamboo mat. He growled. Opening the last door, he came face to face with a familiar-looking old man, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt. The man quivered in fear, running away when he met the face of the akuma. Dark Knight followed closely behind, eventually catching the surprisingly sprightly old man and pinning him to the ground. “Where is she?” he hissed. The man looked terrified. 

“Wh-who are you talking about?” he stuttered. Dark Knight huffed in frustration, letting him go and watching him run off promptly. Where had his little princess escaped away to now?

Ladybug hooked her y-yo around another lamppost, swinging herself towards the Eiffel Tower, her traditional vantage point. Chat Noir, or the akuma version of him, must have been looking for her alter ego, so she had to ambush him as Ladybug in order to surprise him enough to take and purify his akuma. She felt quite desolate at the prospect of facing her akumatised partner, though; it wasn’t the same without Chaton to banter with her and make a bunch of dumb cat puns. She missed him. 

When she got to the Eiffel Tower, she found Félix and Kagami standing there, waiting. They shouted when they saw her, and Félix looked gobsmacked. Kagami waved at her and pointed to the railings, yelling about how it wasn’t safe to come near them. Ladybug decided to land on the very top bit instead so she could hear them better. 

“Ladybug, there was an akuma, he took us up here and did some magical thing to the fence so that we couldn’t get out,” Félix called. Ladybug slid down the metal and alighted on the landing, deeming it safe to do so. 

“I’m sorry to say this, but I’m pretty sure that the akuma’s Chat Noir,” Ladybug declared. Kagami grimaced, while Félix gaped. _Damn_ , he thought. _My little cousin’s a superhero. Way to aim high, bud._ Ladybug didn’t notice his expression and he retained a neutral expression after a second or two of complete shock. 

“I’m going to take you somewhere safe so that I can go to confront him,” Ladybug decided. Kagami protested. “Can’t we at least help somehow? I don’t really want to stand around and wait for it to be over; I want to do something to help.”

Ladybug didn’t even consider it. “Nope, no way. I’m not letting a civilian place their life in danger.” Kagami still objected. “At least let us help, Ladybug, just a little. Chat Noir’s not here, you need to accept our help, right, Félix?” 

Félix didn’t really want to be dragged into the middle of this, but he supposed it was a bit late for that. “I don’t think you should try and fight him on your own, he’s dangerous,” he muttered.

Ladybug sighed. “Alright, I suppose you can help me, but only when I tell you to and nothing that places either of you in harm’s way, alright?” She looked to both of them. They nodded resolutely in agreement. “Then that’s settled. Let’s go.”

“I don’t think so, Ladybug,” came a new voice, silky smooth and oozing danger. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to give me your Miraculous.” All three swiveled around to spot the new person. Ladybug’s eyes narrowed. “Chat Noir,” she all but snarled. “Where’s the akuma hidden?”

“Actually, it’s Dark Knight now, m’lady,” he drawled. “And as for the akuma, you can come up and get it for yourself.” Ladybug did exactly that, leaping up and swiping at him with her yo-yo. He kept of the defensive, dodging and stepping back, blocking with his baton - before Ladybug roared. “Come ON, Chaton! Don’t do this to me! I need to free you!” 

He snarled at her. “It’s _Dark Knight_ Ladybug. I’m not that useless moron anymore.” Then he attacked. Aiming for her head, he struck, again and again, relentless. Ladybug was now on the defensive, spinning her yo-yo at the speed of light to fend off his staff. 

Félix’s phone began to ring. The noise startled him so much he shook violently, and the two supers stopped fighting to look at him with equally incredulous faces. 

“Now? Right now? Couldn’t you just have it on vibrate or something?” Ladybug asked. Félix shrugged helplessly and looked even more helpless when he checked who the caller was. Uncle Gabe. _Oh my freaking god are you kidding me_ , Félix thought. Now reeeeeeally was not the time. And Dark Knight was looking at him weirdly (the hypocrite, he was wearing a skintight leather jumpsuit).

Félix decided to pick up the call, if only to further distract Ladybug and Dark Knight from the ‘ultimate battle to the death’ thing they had going on there. “Good afternoon, Uncle Gabriel. I’m slightly busy-”

Gabriel didn’t remotely care, interrupting him in the middle of his sentence. “Félix, I need you to get some milk on the way home, Natalie says we’re out, and I need coffee. Urgently.” Félix squinted at the ground, bewildered. 

“Coffee? We’re actually in the middle of something, Uncle? There’s an-” And then Gabriel interrupted him again. Dark Knight had given up fighting Ladybug and was just silently cackling in the corner. Ladybug was tapping her foot on the ground impatiently, arms crossed. 

“Félix, I _need_ that coffee. You don’t know what kind of a monster I become when I can’t have coffee.” 

“If you really need milk that much, why can’t you just get Natalie or the Gorilla to fetch you some? I’m sure there are plenty of people who are willing to go to the grocery store and get you some milk.”

Gabriel sputtered. “What - you think I’d get some three euro peasant milk for the grocery store?! That’s appalling! How could I, an Agreste, get milk from some shabby old grocery store that doesn’t even sell decent sfogliatelle?” Félix ground his teeth together. 

“There’s an akuma attack right now and I’m in the middle of it,” he said flatly, giving a meaningful stare at the two super people who were supposed to be fighting to give him an alibi. Ladybug shuffled around awkwardly, while Dark Knight had to sit on the floor, holding his stomach because he was laughing so hard it hurt.

“Félix, you can’t just say there’s an akuma attack just to get out of buying me quality milk. I’m your uncle, I should be able to ask you to get some milk and have you get it like an adult instead of making up stories about akuma attacks, it’s just milk. Either way, it’s in the 16th arrondissement, in Auteuil, I expect you to be home in two hours.” 

“What? That’s miles away, I wouldn’t go there even if it was quality milk. And there’s a literal akuma standing right in front of me, he’s fighting Ladybug and we’re on top of the Eiffel Tower with another girl named Kagami.” It didn’t sound remotely believable, and Félix knew it. Akumas were useless for actually causing damage; so much for the chaotic evil magic reputation they were supposed to have. 

Gabriel scoffed. “I can’t hear them fighting,” he said pointedly. “If this supposed akuma attack is happening, why is it completely silent?” 

Félix had to admit, it was a fair point. He began to gesture frantically at Ladybug and Dark Knight, mouthing the words _fight, fight!_. It was to no avail. Ladybug looked at him pityingly and Dark Knight had nearly begun to doze off. Then Ladybug realised he was only in a state of semi-consciousness and had an idea. Creeping over his body, she checked him over for any object that could have the akuma hidden inside it, eyes zeroing in on his ring. She leant over slightly, reaching out for it, when a hand grabbed her arm. She leapt back, startled, as Dark Knight slowly rose up. “You know, I think it’s about time I took your Miraculous, Ladybug. Why don’t you just hand it over now and make it easier for us all? Otherwise, who knows, your little friends might get… hurt.”

Ladybug narrowed her eyes. “Not on my watch,” she yelled, lunging for Dark Knight, causing him to back away, into the railing. He became intangible, falling through it and into the sky beneath him. Ladybug jumped over too, zooming towards him, both of them hurtling towards the ground at the speed of bullets. 

Kagami and Félix ran over to watch them fall, gazing in wonder as Ladybug swung through the air after Dark Knight, who was flying of his own accord. Kagami groaned. “Well, what are we supposed to do now?”

Félix put Gabriel on speaker. “Uncle Gabriel, could you please check the tracking device that you placed on my phone?” Gabriel denied it immediately but Félix cut him off. “Just check it, I know you have like three of them. Just be grateful I didn’t tell Adrien.” Gabriel relented. 

“Alright, fine, I’ll call Natalie to check. Give me a moment.” Félix turned off speakerphone while Gabe was yelling for Natalie, but he could still hear the dialogue on the other side. 

“Sir, what on earth’s the matter?” Natalie asked. Félix was willing to bet two hundred euros she was still holding her clipboard. 

“Félix says that he’s on the Eiffel Tower, I need to check the tracking device on his phone, he says there was an akuma attack.” Natalie was silent besides the occasional tapping of a device. 

“Right away, sir, here it is.” A second later, Gabriel swore. Then he hung up. 

Félix dropped the phone from his ear, putting it back in his pocket and turning to the other girl who had a look of curiosity on her face. “Well?” she prompted. “What is it?”

Félix didn’t have an answer for her. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Ladybug raced over rooftops, trying to get away from the Dark Knight. She must’ve been fighting him for over an hour, but to no fruition. Neither side had won, and neither side had lost. She needed help, so she was heading to Master Fu’s again to get another Miraculous. Perhaps the Bee. She could use help with a little sting. 

Dark Knight was keeping up with her easily, and she was getting tired. He kept getting in the occasional shot at her, decreasing her energy and draining her willpower. She just had to get somewhere safe so that she could detransform. And then she had to successfully get to Master Fu’s without Dark Knight seeing her. 

“Slow down, Ladybug, we don’t have to fight. You can do this the easy way,” he called out to her without malice, probably getting a bit tired himself. “Honestly, my legs are killing me, and if you just gave me your Miraculous, that’d be really convenient.”  
Ladybug scoffed. “As if I’d ever do that,” she rebuked, ducking underneath a washing line and taking the chase to the streets. She wove around houses, evading him every time he made a reach for her earrings. Seeing Fu’s shop on the next street, she gave one last burst of energy and sprinted ahead of Dark Knight, zipping around a corner and into an alleyway to detransform and hide behind a dumpster. She’d lost him. 

He stuck around, much to her chagrin. Marinette crept around another alleyway, having tucked Tikki into her purse where she could rest and eat a cookie or five. She took a couple of shortcuts to get to the back fo Master Fu’s shop, opening the back door and finding Fu waiting for her with a bamboo mattress, the magic gramophone and a cup of chamomile tea. She blinked at his preparedness, sitting down dazedly and drinking up the tea that he offered to her. “Uh- I need to borrow a Miraculous,” she half-asked, half-requested. Fu nodded calmly. 

“Yes, Marinette, it’s already been delivered.” Fu sipped his tea in content.

“...But I didn’t say which one? Or who it would go to?” Marinette was really confused. Fu kept just sipping his tea. 

“It’s been sent to the right one, Ladybug. I have been watching this one for quite a while, and I have decided that it is their time. You, however, may select another.” Marinette had completely lost track of the conversation now.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I mean, Marinette, that you can choose another Miraculous to merge with yours. You do not have to, of course, but it would give you much more energy and many more powers and I think you might be ready for this leap. Dark Knight is still out there, and you will need more help than one kwami to aid you in his defeat.” Fu stopped his confusing explanation to sip his tea again. Seriously, he’d been sipping it so much it was like it kept refilling. Actually, Marinette wouldn’t put that past him. 

“Wait, how does that work?” she questioned him.

“Ah, well. The Ladybug Miraculous and the Cat Miraculous are two halves of a whole; the only kwamis who can be bonded to other kwamis. They are creation and destruction, the very essence of the universe. If something happened to either one, the balance of the universe would be forsaken and life as we know it could cease to exist. However, since these two kwamis are the bane of existence, they are also the strongest. There are many kwami out there, Marinette, not just the ones I have. Scattered all over the globe, there are maybe a thousand kwamis out there, each with a different Miraculous object and different power. I just happen to have been tasked with looking after the strongest ones. No pressure,” he chuckled. Marinette laughed nervously along with him.

Master Fu turned around and brought the gramophone in front of Marinette. “Would you like to wake up your kwami? I suspect she’s more energised now.” 

Marinette opened her purse, letting Tikki zoom around lazily, munching on a cookie and smiling at the Guardian. “Are we doing the merging thing again?” Tikki asked. “That’s always really fun, I get to hang out with the other kwami in the Miraculous!” she chirped happily. Marinette smiled at her as she took another bite of her cookie. 

Master Fu opened the gramophone up, revealing the Miraculouses. “Pick a strong one, Ladybug, for you shall need your utmost strength to defeat Chat Noir.” 

Marinette nodded decisively, her hand hanging over the box while she debated which one to take. She reached out for the dragon miraculous; a necklace. She looked at Master Fu for his approval. He nodded, gesturing for her to take it.

“Go ahead, Marinette; it is yours,” Fu smiled.

Marinette took the necklace. As soon as her hands came into contact with it, a glow appeared and a flash of bright light, accompanied with a small red and black kwami with little horns and spikes all over its body and a red, swishing tail. Tikki barreled towards the kwami and flung her arms around the unsuspecting creature. “Oh, Fllame, how I’ve missed you!” 

The other kwami hugged her back. “And I you, Tikki!” Master Fu watched the scene with Wayzz, who joined the other two kwamis in their hugging. Then his face became serious. 

“Unfortunately, we shall have to cut this reunion short. I have sent the Bee and Snake Miraculouses to aid you in your quest to defeat Chat Noir, but once you have captured the akuma, you must take him back to me before using you Lucky Charm, as he may have been akumatised in his civilian state.” Marinette accepted his words with a look of determination, turning to Tikki.

“So how does the merging thing work?” she asked.

Tikki grinned. “It’s a bit like that time when you used the powerup from those magic macaroons and had ice and water superpowers as well as your normal ones. You’ll have a bit of a costume change, but the only differences there should be besides that are how you summon the Lucky Charm and when you revert the city to its original state. With the Lucky Charm, you’ll have to say ‘Fire Charm’ instead, and with the Miraculous Cure you need to say ‘Miraculous Dragonbug!’, or something similar, depending on your name.” 

“I think I’ll stick with Dragonbug, that sounds really cool,” grinned Marinette as she put the Dragon pendant on. It had a little black bead and shimmered with red and gold sparks in the sunlight. 

Fastening the circlet around her neck, Marinette took a deep breath. “What do I say, Tikki?”

Tikki looked excited and so did Fllame. “Just say ‘Tikki, Fllame, Dragonbug’ and you’ll be fine. Don’t worry, it’ll be easy, you’ll get the hang of it in no time.”

“Yeah,” Fllame chirped, “Just believe in yourself. Also, you’ll have a sword that can do a bunch of cool stuff, so have fun with that, don’t destroy any skyscrapers with it accidentally and you’ll be okay.”

Marinette closed her eyes. “Tikki, Fllame, Dragonbug!” A shower of red and orange sparks flew around her, transforming her. She closed her eyes, relishing in the magic washing over her. When she opened them, the red kwamis were gone, leaving only Wayzz and Master Fu. Her costume had become similar to the symbol of yin and yang, an image on her upper chest that had little symbols of wind, lightning and rain. She had her yo-yo, of course, but she also had the sword that Fllame had promised, in a sheath on her right. Her mask had little tails to it, little flares of red and yellow curving upwards. Her suit felt different too; she felt like she could stand in a blaze of fire without getting even a scratch. 

Fu looked at her proudly. “Go, Ladybug, meet the others at the Eiffel Tower. They will be waiting for you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chloe Bourgeois was having a terrible day. Her father hadn’t allowed her to fire one of the incompetent staff they had, because he said they were too low on staff to get rid of any more. For God’s sake, the man had forgotten to get her mineral water and had given her tap water instead! Chloe Bourgeois was not a woman who would ever, _ever_ , drink tap water. It was for cheap people with no taste and she was not going to have anything to do with that whatsoever. Also, Ladybug hadn’t called her back. She’d been ringing her yo-yo several times, what with having her number and all since they were besties, but she hadn’t answered, which was unspeakably rude to Chloe Bourgeois, who would not sit by as someone forgot to take her call, even if she had been fighting an akuma at the time. Perhaps she’d blocked her number. Chloe flopped dramatically onto her queen-sized bed, sighing in self-pity. Nothing was going right for her today. She checked her phone, grumbling when she saw that she didn’t have any missed texts or calls from handsome princes in other countries, desperate to be by her side. Even Sabrina hadn’t been able to come to school that day because she’d been sick. Sick! How inconsiderate of her, leaving Chloe all alone during class. She’d had to hang around Adrien all day and that other boy, Nemo or something, who had done nothing but ignore her and talk obscenely loudly about his DJing. Worst of all, Adrien hadn’t paid any attention to her, giving it all to Nemo instead. Life simply wasn’t worth living. 

She sat at her vanity with a cup of coffee, staring at her face. She noticed a small black Chinese box near her container of bronzer. Eyes growing substantially bigger, she picked up the box with trembling hands. On the top, it had a little Chinese emblem. Chloe took off the lid with trembling hands. Inside was a little yellow comb with a bee on it and a note. It read ‘ _Meet Ladybug at the Eiffel Tower _’. She got up excitedly, forgetting about her worries at once. Shredding the note, she put the remains in her waste paper basket and put the little golden bee comb in her hair, beaming.__

__A little stripy yellow bee kwami appeared, to both her and its own delight. “My Queen,” it said, “How may I serve you?”_ _

__Chloe grinned at the little creature, cupping her in her palms and lifting her up to her cheek to kiss her on the forehead. “Oh, Pollen, how I’ve missed you!”_ _

__Pollen smiled serenely. “And I have missed you, my Queen. What are you going to do today?”_ _

__“I’m going to transform and meet Ladybug on the Eiffel Tower,” gushed Chloe. Then she gasped. “Oh! I should get there now! I have to hurry! Pollen, buzz on!” Chloe’s transformation was probably her favourite thing ever - feeling all that magic just flow around her in a flurry of gold was a feeling she didn’t often get, and one she always treasured having. This time was no different. Transforming always made her feel amazing, unbeatable, like she could take on the world single handedly and win._ _

__Queen Bee soared above rooftops, dancing her way through the city of love. The afternoon sun shone above like a beacon, quite different to the grey morning she had earlier. Dashing to the Eiffel Tower, Queen Bee arrived at the scene to find someone who looked like Ladybug but revamped, and another person who just looked sort of green and confused._ _

__~~~~~~~~~_ _

__

__Kagami didn’t really know what she was supposed to do when Ladybug and Dark Knight left. Yes, she knew that fighting akumas was probably a really inconvenient time to try and get two strangers off the Eiffel Tower safely, but it was freezing up there and she was stuck with someone she barely knew with no feasible way of getting down._ _

__She sat cross-legged next to the railing, watching as Ladybug flew after the akuma. She didn’t look like returning to pick them up was her first priority. Understandably, of course, but damn, it was freezing._ _

__Kagami rubbed her hands against her arms and wished for another superhero to come along to get them. She was vaguely aware that there was more than one; there was an orange one and a yellow one as well, and possibly a green one, she didn’t really keep up with superhero-y stuff._ _

__She rested her head against the floor, wincing and rubbing her skull when she hit something. Looking up, she saw it was a small Chinese box, black with little symbols drawn all over it. She felt a little tingle in her hand when she touched it. Opening it, she found a little green bangle. When she put it on, there was a flash of green light which showed a little green blob that looked vaguely like a snake. It had a stripy, triangular head that looked a bit like a cobra and a little green tail with a diamond pattern on it. Its beady yellow eyes fixated on her, but she was too shocked to scream. It slithered through the air to rest lightly upon her nose. “Hello. My name is Sass.”_ _

__Regaining her senses somewhat, Kagami opened her mouth, not really knowing what to say. “Uh- I’m Kagami?”_ _

__The little green thing, Sass, smirked at her. “Pleasure to meet you, Kagami.”_ _

__“Wh-what are you?” Kagami asked._ _

__“I’m a kwami,” Sass said, balancing on her nose on his tail and levitating above it a centimetre or two._ _

__“And what’s a kwami?” Kagami questioned._ _

__“A kwami, my dear, is an immortal magical being who has existed since the beginning of time itself. I was around when humans began to evolve,” said Sass calmly, now sitting on his tail and revolving around on the spot, meditating. “I have a Miraculous, that bangle, which will transform the wearer into a snake superhero.”_ _

__“Right...” Kagami said, trying to get her bearings back. “So what exactly are you doing here?”_ _

__“I am the Snake Kwami, meaning that I will transform you into the Snake hero. You will help whichever other superheroes are currently active and you will cure the city of whatever evil is currently ailing them. What, by the way, would that be?” Sass inquired._ _

__Kagami was too shocked to answer his question. “I can’t be a superhero! I’m literally just a teenager, I don’t even know how to cartwheel! Ladybug and Chat Noir don’t need my h-” She stopped. “Oh... they do. Chat Noir’s been akumatised.”_ _

__Sass looked at her gravely. I'm afraid we're going to have to do something about that."_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy! so. muuuuch longer chapter (ur welcome), lots of action, akuma, new miraculouses, chloe makes an appearance, kagami action, angst, bunch of other stuff etc. etc. but i've finally finished the chapter! (tbh i had no idea how long it was going to be because i just kept writing and writing and idek if i've written too much smh)  
> * i changed the name of the dragon kwami bc the original name was longg and tbh that's just kinda lame so i changed it to something more dramatic  
> * kagami is now going to be completely non-canon and we're gonna see a lot more of her character as we go deeper into the plot  
> * gabriel is going to go deeper into the plot next chapter (i'm talking titanic deep)  
> * idk what the miraculous merging thing is supposed to go like since zagtoon hasn't released any of them yet but i just put my own spin on it and there will be a bunch of new powers that lb will get  
> * kagami with a miraculous!!! i'm pretty sure she was going to get the dragon miraculous in the show but i really wanted to do dragonbug so i just gave her the snake and you'll find out her powers and costume in the next chapter (i have no idea what it's gonna be but i'm really looking forward to writing it  
> * yes, i know the scene in the middle with the akuma and lb just kinda hanging around was probably farfetched, but it's comedy and i'm the writer (omg i'm the writer) so just accept it (i just realised i'm the wRITER and i have the power to like kill lila or make adrienette happen. i'm a god. holy crap. *evil but kinda nervous laughter*)
> 
> so thank you if you read that note, i think it might have been long? idk i'm just glad i've finished the chapter and i can go have a muffin now i really want a muffin  
> please like and comment! i always feel like how adrien looks at the end of the picnic scene when marinette kisses him on the cheek because ur all my friends and i feel so happy ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ  
> p.s. sfogliatelle is an italian thing (i think it might be portuguese) but it has custard and stuff and it's yummy so got get some cos it's great ok that's it for this week baiiii


	10. Queen Cobra

When she transformed for the first time, Kagami felt dizzy. 

All it had taken was a ‘Sass, let’s strike!’ and she had felt a swirl of green surrounding her, enveloping her body and transforming her into a superhero. Her suit was covered in black and gold stripes, with the rest of her body green and a large green mask covering her entire face, with the exception of her now-yellow eyes. She didn’t really feel the need to blink anymore. Another thing that she noticed was she felt warm. The wind was still there, the frost still on the floor but she didn’t feel it. All she felt was a nice, quiet content feeling in her stomach. 

She found a little green lyre in her belt and found a long tail stemming from it. She didn’t how whether she was able to control it but looking behind her, she found it was already swishing a little on its own. Kagami wasn’t sure whether, as a superhero, she was supposed to have a name. She knew Ladybug and Chat Noir had different superhero names from their identities, but she still wasn’t sure whether this ‘fighting evil magic crime stuff’ was a full-time job or a once-off, so she’d have to ask Ladybug. Until then, she’d just have to be the anonymous snake girl or something. 

Happy with her appearance, she looked up to find an extremely confused Félix, who clearly had no idea what the hell was going on. Then Ladybug flew in, looking nothing like she did before and with a giant red sword. Then another girl came in from the opposite direction, a yellow superhero, and immediately squealed when she saw Ladybug, running up to her and pulling her into a hug that didn’t look entirely mutually consensual. It was, to say the least, extremely chaotic. 

“What’s going on?” Félix asked the question first, though Kagami wholeheartedly agreed with him, as did the yellow girl when she realised there was four of them. 

Ladybug winced, slowly peeling the yellow girl off her. “Um, it’s less complicated than it looks, there’s just a bunch of stuff that I need to fill you all in on. Also, I got a new suit and a bunch of super cool powers and not to brag, but that’s totally awesome. As for you,” here she gestured to Félix, “I don’t really know what you can actually do right now so it’s probably best if I just take you away somewhere safe, okey dokey?”

Félix grimaced. “Do I have to go? I don’t exactly want to sit and twiddle my thumbs on top of some random building somewhere.”

Ladybug shrugged. “I don’t really know what else you can do as a civilian. Maybe you can be the lookout?” 

Félix wasn’t too thrilled about it, but he accepted it as a compromise. It was better than doing nothing, and this way he wouldn’t have to be in the line of fire, which in all honesty he’d really rather not do. He wasn’t cut out for fighting things, he was better at negotiating. Which, in this instance, had worked out quite well for him. He nodded in acceptance, ducking his head when he saw the yellow girl looking at him curiously. 

“So, green chick, what’s your superhero name?” the blonde girl questioned Kagami. She wasn’t too sure, but she thought it probably had to be snake-themed, even though she’d had to make it up on the spot. 

Kagami thought for a moment. “Uh- Queen Cobra?”

The blonde bristled. “You can’t be named that, that’s copying _my_ name. I’m Queen Bee, and I’m the only queen around here.”

Kagami didn’t like the girl’s tone one bit. “I think you’ll find that there are two queens around here now, Queen Bee,” she spat the last part viciously, “but I guess we’ll soon see which one is superior.”

Ladybug chose that moment to step in. “Queen Bee, step down. Queen Cobra, or whoever she is, can choose whichever name she likes, and I don’t want there to be any fighting between either of you. Chat Noir is akumatised, remember? There’s no time for any of this petty squabbling between any of us. We have to find him.” Ladybug spoke like a leader, and somehow both girls stopped and listened to her. Perhaps it was her miraculous good luck. Either way, she thanked her lucky stars that the others had stopped arguing, and turned her attention to Félix. 

“What’s your name?” she asked. It was out of pretence, but it’d save time if she accidentally let slip that she knew him. Her identity had to be kept watertight at all times. And it was better to be safe than sorry.

Félix looked surprised at having the spotlight shone on him. Now both of the girls were looking at him and Ladybug was expecting an answer. “My name’s Félix,” he said nervously. “Should we go and find Chat Noir?”

Ladybug nodded in approval. “Well, Félix, I’m going to take you somewhere where you’ll keep watch for Dark Knight. You can have my-” At this point she stopped to rummage around in a newfound pocket, digging deeper than Félix thought would have been possible for any non-magic pocket (she was already up to her elbow, Félix didn’t see how much farther she could get before she’d touched her toes) before she smiled in triumph and tugged out a blood-red dagger. 

“Here you go,” she smiled far too brightly for the weapon she was handing him. “I’m sure it’s got some sort of magic stuff, so that’ll help you if Dark Knight finds you. I don’t expect him to, but we should have precautions. Can’t always rely on luck,” she winked at him before zipping her pocket back up. Both of the Queens stared at her, mouths gaping open.

“...Okay, I suppose?” Félix asked unsurely. He wasn’t sure what Ladybug was doing with a dagger, but he hoped she’d never used it. And that he wouldn’t have to. He didn’t like blood. 

“Oh, don’t worry,” Ladybug sad cheerfully. “Knowing my luck, it probably won’t hurt him. Maybe if you threw it at his foot he’d just get a really badly stubbed toe.” Everyone else stared at her.

“...Yeah, maybe I’ll just try to avoid throwing the magic dagger at him,” Félix said.

“That could work,” Ladybug agreed cheerfully. Then her face straightened. “Now, I’m going to take Félix to... let’s see, the Louvre. He should be able to see any akuma-related incidents from there. I’ll need you two,” here she pointed to the queens, “to defend him if Dark Knight ambushes and to try and find where his akuma is hiding. 

Kagami raised her hand. 

“Yes?” Ladybug questioned her.

“I don’t exactly know what I’m doing. At all,” she clarified. 

“Maybe wing it? I didn’t know what I was doing when I first transformed, it’ll just come to you,” Ladybug suggested. 

Kagami shrugged, guessing that it was a little too late to go over how To do a cartwheel. Hopefully she wouldn’t need to know how to do difficult gymnastics, because even if it was extremely easy to do with her superhero powers, she’d still probably fall over a lot. 

Ladybug picked up Félix and, with the others following her, swung to a building bordering the Louvre. Having deposited him there, she turned to the others. “I don’t really know how we’re going to find him. Any ideas?”

Queen Bee took up the challenge to prove her superiority as a superhero. “Well, Ladybug, we could try and bait him, or maybe you could try and track him from your yo-yo?”  
Kagami held back a chuckle as Ladybug grinned. She sensed that she hadn’t really been out of ideas, more needing Queen Bee to feel useful, which apparently worked. Queen Bee was looking much more pleased with herself than she had been ten minutes ago.

Ladybug checked her yo-yo. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to track him, he might not be wearing his ring…” she stopped. “Ah.”

The others looked at her. “What is it?” asked Queen Cobra.

Ladybug turned to her with an expressionless face. “His ring,” she said. “It’s at the Agreste mansion.”

Félix realised Adrien must have taken it off; but if he’d left it at home, what was the akuma? He wondered how he was going to explain all this.

“What does that mean?” asked Queen Bee worriedly.

“It means,” said Félix, “that we’re going to have to break into my house.”

~~~~~~~~~

Queen Bee was in charge of making sure nobody saw them. She had unleashed a bomb shortly after Félix did: after many years of not having much to do, she had made a rather shady hobby of being an insanely good hacker. She actually talked about the numerous firewalls she’d cracked without even bragging (well, technically speaking she did, but by her standards it was nothing). She also mentioned having access to police files and local video cameras, which hadn’t really garnered a response from anybody because they were too shocked.  
Queen Cobra was the brawn of the plan - she was the one to sneak in, having gone over a detailed map of the house that Queen Bee had found earlier online. How she managed it, nobody knew, but they also knew better than to ask. 

Ladybug had given up on saying ‘Queen Cobra’ and ‘Queen Bee’ multiple times repeatedly, so she had told them to shove aside their dignity and had christened them ‘Queenie’ and ‘Cobra’ for the sake of convenient code names. Félix was somewhat disappointed that he hadn’t been given one. Ladybug had insisted on staying with Cobra for the operation, saying it was better if she had backup and smarter to have two pairs instead of one and three; it could be taken down too easily. Félix had been ordered to stay with Queenie, who had grudgingly agreed on the single condition that he had to call her ‘Bee’ because only Ladybug was allowed to call her Queenie. 

Félix had been assigned as the lookout; Ladybug had dug around in her pockets some more and had pulled out a little red whistle, which was supposed to not make a sound when it was blown and would only alert Ladybug’s yo-yo with a quiet buzz. Félix had tested it and didn’t hear anything, so he put it in his pocket for safekeeping and stuck with Bee while the other two snuck in through a skylight out the back (Cobra had mentioned that she had numerous tools with which to break into things - apparently snakes were extremely good at breaking and entering, because she’d found a very handy variety of things in her pockets). Ladybug had also suggested earpieces, which was how everyone but Félix had wound up with a super cool-looking device discreetly hidden in their ear. Félix was also disappointed that he hadn’t been able to get in on that. 

Once Ladybug and Cobra were in, Bee told them where to go and where everything was. “You’re in the attic and there should be a trapdoor in the middle of the floor that will lead onto the second floor. If Ladybug’s yo-yo is right, the ring should be in Adrien Agreste’s room. Dunno what it’s doing there, but we can figure that out later. Have you gone through the trapdoor yet?” Bee asked, huddled with Félix in a bush about a block away. Fortunately, the Agreste mansion covered the majority of the street, so they were able to faintly see Ladybug and Cobra slipping in through the window. 

“Yep, we’re in,” said Cobra. “What do you mean, it’s in Adrien’s room? What the hell is happening if he’s got Chat Noir’s ring in his bedroom?”

“Maybe they know each other,” Félix suggested into Bee’s earpiece, but she shoved him off. “That was Félix,” she said, indignant.

“Possibly.” Ladybug sounded unconvinced. 

“Alright, we’re heading through the hallway,” murmured Cobra. “Where’s Adrien’s room?”

“It should be the fourth on the left,” Bee said. “Are you in?” Ladybug and Cobra mumbled sounds of affirmation. 

“I don’t know exactly where it is, but it looks like it’s near your front, to the right.” 

They both began to rifle through drawers, checking under the bed and the desks. Cobra checked his computer, then turned to Ladybug, eyebrows raised. “Come see this, Ladybug.” She turned bright red. It was a large assortment of photos of her, a couple with Chat Noir in the background. “Hey, Bee, can you figure out the passcode for Adrien’s computer?” Cobra asked. 

“I’m not sure if I’m able to do it remotely, but I’ll try,” said Bee. 

“Do we have to break into his computer? We’re only looking for the ring,” Félix argued. Bee gave him a death stare but shrugged and suggested it to the other two. “Can one of you look for the ring while I hack into the computer?” she asked, furiously typing strings of code into her laptop (she’d also tugged it out of her pocket a few minutes ago. Félix was wondering what other awesome stuff the magic pockets could hold).

“Found it!” called Cobra, holding up the ring triumphantly before beginning to examine it. “It doesn’t seem to be activated, though.”

“I’ve hacked into Adrien’s computer, it should be unlocked now,” announced Bee smugly. Ladybug quietly whooped, fist-bumping the air, starting to search through the files for anything incriminating. It was giving her a bit of a thrill, going though Adrien’s computer when he might actually like Ladybug. Her face went red when she found even more photos of herself scattered through his files. 

Cobra heard a creak and froze. “Ladybug,” she hissed, “There’s someone outside.”

Ladybug stopped and turned off the computer regretfully, backing away from the door with Cobra, who had the ring in hand. “We have to go,” she whispered urgently. Cobra gave her a sarcastic look. “Yeah, no shit,” she said.

“Queenie, just stay quiet for a bit, someone’s here,” Ladybug whispered. Queen Bee said nothing in reply. 

The creaks on the floorboard outside got louder. Ladybug and Cobra hurried to find somewhere to hide. Both girls looked at the bathroom then at each other in silent agreement. Diving towards the door, they got inside just as Adrien’s bedroom door was opened. They heard the muffled sound of footsteps. Ladybug grabbed a pen from the bathroom counter and scribbled a little note on her hand. _Ambush? It might be Dark Knight_

Cobra decided that was probably the best idea, raising three fingers and counting down the seconds. Once they got to zero, the girls burst out of the door. Ladybug swung out her sword, swinging it around like she’d been doing fencing since she was three. Cobra personally thought she would probably be suited to the dragon Miraculous as well, but the Snake Miraculous was an equally great deal, because she had found a bunch of magical snake-themed weapons in her pockets, and she wouldn’t want to trade that for anything. Kagami was a woman who greatly valued her weapons, especially those which could maim (usually verbally, she wasn’t into picking fights with anyone unless they deserved it, like Bee probably would eventually). 

When they exited the bathroom, they found Natalie, speechless in the middle of the room. 

“You’re not an akuma.” Ladybug stated. 

“I should hope not,” said Natalie. 

Ladybug jumped and pushed her onto the floor, cuffing her from behind with handcuffs from her pockets (they were so useful). “It’s too late, you’ve seen us. Be completely silent,” Ladybug ordered. Natalie did as she was told, but not without a struggle. She tried to escape by kicking Ladybug with her spare feet and elbowing her in the stomach, but Ladybug pulled her arms back and unsurely walked to the cupboard. “Should we just put her in there?” she asked Cobra. 

She shrugged. “Sorry, I’m not exactly an expert on mugging people.” 

Ladybug rolled her eyes, dragging Natalie to the cupboard. “I’m really sorry, but we have to find an akuma and we can’t have any civilians getting hurt if and when he comes.”

“Why on earth would he come to Adrien’s bedroom? And why can’t I just hide somewhere without handcuffs? I’ll take hiding in the bathroom over staying in the cupboard, handcuffed and waiting to be found,” Natalie reasoned. Ladybug shared a pensive look with Cobra, who nodded and gestured towards the bathroom, prompting her to unhandcuff an exhausted-looking Natalie. “Nice outfit, by the way,” she remarked as she walked into the bathroom. “And who are you?” she directed the question to Cobra this time. 

“Queen Cobra,” she said. “I’m new, but I haven’t discovered any of my powers yet, so I’ve got a lot of potential.” Natalie inclined her head in acknowledgement. 

Ladybug pressed her finger to her ear. “Queenie, are you there? It was a false alarm.” 

There was no answer. 

Then there was a loud thud on the other side of the door, and what sounded like whimpering. “Right,” said Natalie. “I guess that’s the akuma. I’ll just stay in the shower.” And so she did, sweeping the shower curtain across and huddling down with her phone and a mini clipboard that was also in her pockets. Pockets were awesome. 

“He must have found Queen Bee and Félix and taken them hostage,” Cobra realised. Ladybug groaned and rubbed her face. 

“I guess it’s up to us to rescue th-” The door shattered open; Dark Knight came in, holding Queen Bee, Félix and a knife. The same knife Ladybug had given to Félix. Damn. 

“Give me the ring,” Dark Knight snarled. 

“No! Chat, I won’t let you!” Ladybug exclaimed. Natalie wisely stayed quiet. Dark Knight snarled at her. 

“How many times do I have to tell you, it’s Dark Knight! I’m never going to be that snivelling little Chat Noir again! He’s too weak!” he roared at her. 

“No, he’s not,” Ladybug’s eyes pleaded at him to stop. “He’s a good person who wouldn’t hurt his friends. The Chat Noir I know would always put other people before himself. He is noble and kind, and I will save you to bring him back,” she swore. 

Dark Knight looked down. “I’m better now,” he murmured. “Stronger, braver, not afraid to stand up for myself. I’m better this way.” At this point, Cobra couldn’t tell whether he was trying to convince Ladybug or himself. 

“Chat Noir is a good person,” Félix piped up. “He may have had his flaws, yes, but fundamentally he is a good person and deserves to be unrestrained by Hawkmoth.”  
Dark Knight considered his words, releasing both of them. A relieved rush of air left Ladybug’s mouth. 

She stilled. “I still can’t let you stay like this,” she said quietly, unsheathing her giant sword. Even Dark Knight was scared of that thing; he’d be an utter idiot not to. It was massive, and even a bright, bubbly teenager like Ladybug looked scary when she waved it around. He considered his options. Stay, fight the woman he loved, or give up his powers the thing that made him feel free again. 

“I’m sorry. You’re going to have to take it from me,” Dark Knight said, before running out and jumping through a window. They all ran to see what happened, Natalie included, but he had gone. Disappeared into thin air. 

Ladybug locked her hands behind her head and began to pace back and forth in the room. “What do we do, what do we do, what do we do…Aha!” She snapped her fingers. “I’ve got it. I’m not saying it in front of Natalie, though, she’s a civilian. We need to go.”

She left the building, the others hot on her tail. When outside, she turned to address all of them. “We need to go see Master Fu.”  
Cobra was confused. “Fu? Who’s that?” 

Ladybug smiled at her. “I have a feeling you won’t be asking that once you meet him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Kagami was sitting on a bench with her mother, who was currently ranting about the stupid antics of some political scandal in Nagasaki. Kagami wasn’t listening, she didn’t give a damn what was going on the other side of the world if it had the slightest thing to do with politics. Her mother was cut from an entirely different cloth; she was obsessed with politics, be it those in Brazil or those in Dubai. When they had family dinners at Christmastime (they didn’t have it for religious purposes, nobody in her family was Christian, they had it because Kagami’s grandmother absolutely loved to throw a party), Kagami’s mother would sit up the top end of the table with her great uncle and discuss everything that Kagami thought was completely irrelevant. Be it politics, golfing, the latest in idiotic fashions (she’d spent a month going on about latex), Ms Tsurugi would always find a topic to rave about that Kagami thought was utterly droll. 

“You know, they’ve been at it about new and creative ways to raise the fiscal strength index,” Kagami’s mother spoke animatedly for such a banal subject. “We’re only forty-second in Japan, you know. Still a rather long way to go, don’t you think? And of course it’s not worth the effort unless we get to the top. Then we might have a little bit more puff in our chest.” Kagami quietly scoffed. As if her mother needed anything to give her more puff in her chest. As far as pride went, her mother did not need any help whatsoever. 

“Mother, I think the fiscal strength index can wait until we’re on the train, don’t you? Once we’re back home, we’ll have plenty of time to talk about whatever you wish.” 

Kagami’s mother sighed. “I suppose so, dear. If it troubles you that much, I’ll wait until we can finally get our tickets and have gotten rid of all these infernal bags to have a thrilling conversation about lacrosse. I hope you’re aware that I have made many sacrifices for you, darling.” Kagami rolled her eyes and rested her chin on her fist. 

“Yes, Mother, I’m perfectly aware. I hope I’m not too much of a burden,” sighed Kagami. Sometimes her mother was too much to bear. 

Her mother laughed. “Oh, of course not, Kagami! You’re my daughter, you’re not a burden! And even if you were, I could just let Cecelia take care of you,” her mother trilled. Kagami’s heart panged at how little it took for her mother to say that then kept thinking about it as her mother babbled on about lacrosse. Kagami wasn’t really listening. At that point, she was in a state of semi-consciousness, if she was being honest with herself. 

“May we go?” Kagami asked tiredly. “I think we’re probably allowed to collect the tickets now.” There was a small amount of venom in her tone, but her mother didn’t notice the glimpse of hurt that Kagami had shown. She got up somewhat pathetically, putting on a show of being old and frail when Kagami knew perfectly well that she could get up and do a two hundred metre sprint if the mood took her. Ms Tsurugi was a sprightly lady and had a very sharp tongue. As of yet, Kagami had never seen her mother speechless. It would be a sight to behold, she was sure, but she was also positive that it would never happen. 

“Oh, Kagami, darling, do help your mother up. I’m not the young woman I once was, you know,” Ms Tsurugi said airily. Kagami begrudgingly took the arm she offered (it was more akin to a demand in Kagami’s opinion). They walked to the ticket office on the train platform, which now had a sign saying _Open_. Kagami saw a small Chinese man sitting on a piece of cardboard with a little bowl in front of him with a few coins. “Will you please give me money for a train ticket? I need to get to my grandchildren in Paris,” he begged, hands clasped in front of him. Her mother went to turn away, slightly repulsed at the notion of talking to a homeless man. Kagami’s heart softened at the sight of him. 

She let go of her mother and went to help him up. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll pay for your ticket,” she promised. Then she noticed how ragged and worn his clothes were and her eyes softened in sympathy. “And I’ll buy you a nice, warm coat and some shoes so that when you get to Paris, you won’t be so cold,” she said kindly. 

“Thank you,” the old man croaked. “You don’t need to do all that for me, though. I’m sure I’d just be a burden on you.” 

Kagami thought back to her mother’s words and how she had felt like she was… less. Her eyes sharpened in determination as she gently but firmly held onto the old man’s hands. “No, I insist. You’re no burden to me, nor to anyone." 

The man smiled gratefully. “Thank you. What did you say your name was again?”

“I didn’t. It’s Kagami,” she said, shaking his hand and leading him with her to the ticket box. Her mother trailed along behind them dejectedly. 

Kagami walked them over to a clothes store nearby where she bought the man a pair of warm boots and a large jacket, before walking to a nearby cafe and getting lunch for him. On the way back, she got tickets for the three of them and brought their luggage onto the train herself (actually, she didn’t take much, Ms Tsurugi had taken her own and the man only had his cap). They sat down together once they were on the train, to Ms Tsurugi’s minor displeasure, Kagami sitting next to her mother opposite the man.

“So, what’s your name?” Kagami inquired, as the final call went for the passengers boarding the train.

“Fu,” the man said. “My name is Fu.” The train whistled and with one last puff of air, it left the station, en route to Paris.

~~~~~~

“You’re kidding me,” Queen Cobra sat in front of Master Fu on his little bamboo mat, Ladybug, Queen Bee and Félix sitting near her. 

Ladybug smirked. “Told you that you’d know him. Master Fu tends to pop up in unexpected places.” 

Kagami noticed the title. “Master?”she asked, eyebrows raised. 

Fu looked abashed. “It’s more of a formality, really; I adopted it when I was much younger and I suppose it just stuck.” Kagami dipped her head. 

Ladybug clasped her hands together and turned to Master Fu. “Master, we need help. Dark Knight’s gone, we don’t know where, but we’ve got the Cat Miraculous, but… we found it in Adrien Agreste’s room.”

Félix shared a look with Master Fu, who became aware that Félix knew about Adrien. He bit his lip, thinking of what to say to Ladybug. “Here, drink some tea,” he said suddenly. Ladybug looked surprised but took the tea he offered, as did Queen Bee and Queen Cobra. Félix declined. He figured Fu must’ve spiked it with something. His thoughts were confirmed when Ladybug, Queen Bee and Queen Cobra slumped, their eyes becoming unfocused. 

Master Fu looked at him guiltily. “I’ve wiped their memories of the ring being at the Agreste household and replaced it with them happening upon it by chance at a park a block or two away. It’ll also erase whatever happened at the house, though,” he finished. “What did happen there?”

Félix sighed. “He ambushed Queen Bee and I and took us hostage, then brought us to Adrien’s room, where Ladybug and Queen Cobra had been looking for the ring that Bee tracked to his room and there was a confrontation between him and Ladybug before he let us go and jumped out the window and just vanished.”

“I see,” Fu said, stroking his little grey goatee. “Did you see what direction he was going in?”

Félix considered the question for a moment before taking a stab in the dark. “Maybe down south? He was running really fast, I think he might’ve even been flying, so I’m not sure, but it may have been south.”

“Then south we go,” decided Master Fu. He pinched the others softly on the back of their wrist one by one, stepping back as they started awake, as if out of a deep sleep. 

Queen Cobra spoke first. “Where are we?”

Fu smiled at her. “You’re in my massage shop, remember? You three dozed off for quite a while. Must’ve been the aromatic candles.” Cobra nodded blearily before lying back against the wall to close her eyes. 

“What were you talking about?” Ladybug asked. 

“Ah, yes. We were talking about having something... similar to a manhunt for Dark Knight. What do you think?”

~~~~~~~~~

He shivered. It was far too cold for his tastes. It made sense, of course, it was night, but he was still cold and without shelter. Or Ladybug’s Miraculous. 

Hawkmoth had been screaming blue murder at him ever since he’d dropped the hostages and left. He didn’t care about how they said they were his friends, he didn’t care that he couldn’t remember things. He couldn’t remember where he used to live and he couldn’t remember where he went to school and he couldn’t remember what his old name was. It was driving him insane. 

He thought the akuma might have something to do with it. When it had touched him, what felt like eons and eons ago, it wasn’t purple. At the time, he hadn’t really paid attention to it, but looking back he realised that it was more of a very dark indigo. Maybe it had been infected in more than the typical way. From what he’d seen of akumas, there were two kinds: a clean, pure white butterfly and a dark, venomous infected purple butterfly. He didn’t know what the indigo one meant. If it was going by the level of light, having an indigo akuma was probably a bad thing. He wondered why it was different. At least it’d keep his mind off the cold for another minute or two. 

He crept low to the ground, staying on the streets in the shadows. It was late, and that meant everyone was at home. Nobody was there to see him. Climbing up to the roof of a nearby house, he jumped on all fours across buildings, heading towards the Eiffel Tower.

Once he got there, he crouched beside the edge of the platform and listened to his irrationally fast heartbeat as he surveyed the dark city below. Everything was quiet except the occasional squeaking of leather against leather when he clenched his hands in fists. Closing his eyes, he pictured what it would look like in the morning, when the entire city was bathed in light and sunshine. It didn’t seem as lonely in the place in his imagination. Here, he had nobody. There, well, maybe he had a future. Lowering his head, he lay on the floor, curled up in  
a fetal position, heart throbbing. It was too lonely. Too cold. 

He didn’t move when his ears pricked up, detecting the soft padding of covered feet touching down on the landing. He didn’t move when the feet drew closer. He didn’t move when he heard Ladybug sigh and sit down next to him. He refused to move. He kept his eyes firmly closed and stayed still enough to imitate the living dead, hands tightly wrapped around his  
body. 

“Aren’t you tired?” Ladybug’s voice was nothing more than a whisper, small enough to be blown away on the wind, but he heard it. He heard her.

“Yes,” he admitted. He still refused to open his eyes, though he was aware Ladybug was probably looking at him. 

“Can’t we stop this, Chaton? I don’t want to fight you,” Ladybug murmured. 

Dark Knight stiffened. “Then give me your Miraculous,” he sat up to see her sitting down, cross-legged, hands in her lap like a schoolchild wishing to understand. 

“Don’t you understand? I can’t. I need to protect the people, to protect my family. It’s all I have, Chaton.”

“What about me? Aren’t I enough for you?” Dark Knight knew he looked weak, hated it. Weakness was only for the weak and yet it was so cold, he was so lonely, and she was here. 

Ladybug smiled weakly. “Of course you are, Chaton, but you never realise it. You smile and laugh when I tell you that you’re irreplaceable, that you’re the only partner I would ever accept having, but you don’t understand how much I mean it. You don’t realise that you’re not alone, Chaton,” she caressed his cheek with the softest of fingers. 

“Don’t say that. I’m not worth it, I’m an akuma. I’ve betrayed Paris in the worst way imaginable,” he hung his head, full of conflicting emotions. 

Ladybug smiled at him. “You see, that’s the one thing that counts. You have guilt. It’s not your fault for having emotions, even I have bad days sometimes, but you feel sorry about your actions and want to make it better. That’s what makes a superhero,” she whispered in his ear. She held out her hand wordlessly. He took it and shared a small, tentative smile with her. _Perhaps it will get better_ , he thought. _I don’t think I’m so alone anymore_. That was his last thought as the world faded to black, his hand still entwined with Ladybug’s and the imprint of her smile still lingering in his mind.

~~~~~~~

Ladybug carried Dark Knight’s limp, unconscious body back to Master Fu’s somberly. Queen Bee had been hiding beneath the platform, waiting for the right moment to strike. She had  
knocked him unconscious with the full blast of her venom to his head, encased within the tips of her fingers. 

Master Fu took Dark Knight’s body from Ladybug, laying him down on the bamboo mattress. “Do any of you have any idea where the akuma is?”

The others looked at each other before shaking their heads. “Maybe check his pockets?” Cobra suggested. 

“I was about to say that,” snarked Bee. They glared at each other. Fu shook his head before unzipping his pockets, pulling out a little pink and blue beaded string. Ladybug went pale. 

“I think we’ve found it,” Fu said triumphantly, handing the string to Ladybug. “Would you care to do the honours?” Ladybug snapped the charm wordlessly, watching as a little indigo-coloured akuma flew out. She trembled slightly as she caught it in her yo-yo. 

“Now, before Ladybug does the Lucky Charm, I’m going to need all of you to go to the other room and detransform one by one, leaving your Miraculouses,” Fu said. Everyone except Félix and Ladybug nodded. Cobra left the room first, walking into the adjoining space. There was a flash of green and then Fu walked in and came back with a little black box. Queen Bee went next. A flash of yellow, then Fu came back again with a little black box, putting it and the other into his gramophone. Félix walked out casually, hands in his pockets, o his way home. Ladybug went last, detransforming and giving Fllame back, before transforming again and leaving through a window. She let out a shaky breath on a rooftop, looking at her city for a moment with the forlorn, sad eyes of somebody who had seen something so utterly terrible it had consumed a portion of their soul. She took a deep, long calming breath to no effect, threw her yo-yo up in the air and cried “Miraculous Ladybug!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY! THAT WAS EXTREMELY FUN! jk i'm practically crying rn that was more emotion and angst than i was preparing for  
> * chlOGAMI! i was originally going to do felix x kagami, which i put in one of the earlier notes and i can't remember which one and i'm not too bothered about editing it but cHLOGAMI! tell me what you think! if i get more comments saying they want felix and kagami then i'll probably do that but i see so much potential for them as saltmates and chlogami as this superhero rivalry lovesquare i'm trembling just thinking about it  
> * last night i had a weird crisis where i was basically like: 'yay it's holidays oh wait i have to reach 30k words at the end of the month cos i'm doing nanowrimo and i'm going halfway across the country in a week how can i write what is the meaning of life' except then i realised that i will be able to write, just probably a bit less and with actual updates once a week because i am aware that i have been updating every 4-5 days and i need to just slack off because i'm so tiiiiired  
> * yes i know there was an identity reveal don't worry i'm keyboardsmashing as well but this is not the end. there will be more. much more. actually idk how much more but this may be a year-long project  
> * holy crap this might be a year-long project what the heck have i gotten myself into  
> * i think there was like one swear word in there but i think (?) it's still pg and i can't remember how to change the ratings cos i'm such an unbothered granny fite me (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง  
> * um what else happened oh yeah there was that thing with natalie and i think natalie's going to be a somewhat more regular character now depends on relevancy  
> * kagami's mum! i'll probably put her in a bit more with gabriel or smth  
> * some kooky stuff going on w/ the akuma right?? lol no answers from me i am god  
> * dark knight had a POV bit! i wasn't too sure about what it would be like for a superhero akuma but i decided to go with remorseful because of the superhero bit  
> * also ladynoir? idk if it counts but whatever it was that was some fLUFF right there  
> * there will be more akumas and chlogami action as well as chlogami civilian action (squeal) and i'm going to do the next chapter about the miracuclass and some other stuff... anyway please like and comment! see you in four days! yeet


	11. The Path of Chaos

Alya wanted to scream. She’d waited for ages to save up money to get those tickets, and Lila had snatched them off her at the very last minute like the lying snake she was. She’d just wanted to see Jagged Stone, for God’s sake! It shouldn’t have been too difficult for Lila to just tell her she couldn’t make it in time, or give the tickets to her at school that morning. She’d claimed she was doing impromptu babysitting of her sister, but she hadn’t even tried to be a good friend and gotten the tickets to her! Alya had been so looking forward to going to the concert, and Lila hadn’t even turned up so they could go together! The ticket officer hadn’t let her in when she told him she was waiting for a friend who had the tickets, but Lila hadn’t even made an effort to come so that Alya could go by herself! It would have been slightly better if Lila just apologized and said she would pay her back, but she didn’t even try to do either! Alya was even more enraged when she saw a post online from Lila, at the concert with some random Italian boy. She’d called her in a fit of anger and yelled at her for half a second before Lila had hung up, saying the reception was bad and she’d talk to her later. Alya Cesaire refused to let there be a ‘later’. She’d walked back home to her house dejectedly, to find her big sister Nora away on a date and her little sisters at the cinema with her parents. So, of course, she called Nino.

Nino had shown up about five minutes later, just in time to catch her when she threw herself into his arms and began to cry. Twenty minutes later, she was just about calm enough to talk and explain, or at least create sentences beyond ‘I want to stab Lila’. 

“What happened, babe?” Nino rubbed his girlfriend’s shoulder comfortingly as she vented on the couch next to him. 

“I saved up money for so long to get those tickets, Nino, she promised me that she’d buy them when I gave the money to her and I saw a new post online that she’d sent with a picture of her and some guy at the concert that I was supposed to go to!” 

Alya was this close to going through the Five Stages of Grief, but she was too exhausted to think about revenge at the moment.  
She wished she’d gone with Marinette to the concert instead. Marinette was a way cooler girl, she’d never do something mean and two-faced like that. Alya felt momentarily guilty for not inviting her instead. Marinette was her best friend and she’d chosen Lila instead. Not cool. She’d been drifting apart a bit from Marinette, since Lila came back to school. She felt like she didn’t really have her best friend with her anymore. When Lila had come back, Marinette had said she was lying about a bunch of stuff and Alya had said she was wrong, telling her to check her facts. What a loser she’d been. 

“Maybe I need to go apologise to Marinette instead,” Alya sighed. 

Nino’s brows creased. “Why?” he asked. 

“I feel like I’ve been spending less time with her because of Lila, it doesn’t feel like we’re best friends anymore, at least not now that she’s got Félix and when Lila came back, I was a total dolt,” Alya said the word with a little malice before feeling almost empty inside. She’d messed up. Badly. “Can you help me make it up to her, Nino, please? I need to be a better friend to her again.”

Nino still didn’t really know what she was talking about, but he did know that all the stuff that happened on the first day Lila came back was really sucky for Marinette, so he assumed that was what Alya was talking about. “Yeah, babe, I’ll help you,” he smiled. He’d make it up to Marinette, so would Alya. They just needed a solid course of action. Alya looked at him and her eyes widened. 

“I have a plan!” she exclaimed. 

Nino grinned. “You read my mind, babe.”

~~~~~~~~~~

[lila lied to us. Idk if it was the whole thing, but she’s been lying to me and nino. I’ve got a plan, but i need you to tell the others. Ok?] - A

[huh? i don’t think she did anything wrong, didn;t she save max’s eye?] - K

[dude, it was a napkin. it was a n a p k i n. just tell the others the plan smh] - A

~~~~~~~~~~

[lila’s been lying to everyone. mari was right, so we need to apologise] - K

[What do you mean? Lila’s been really nice to everyone, she didn’t lie! Marinette threw her napkin at me and Lila saved my eye!] - M

[look, alya says she was lying to her about some concert tickets, then she realised mari was right, she had been lying about everything. i need you to spread the word, okay? alya’s got a plan] - K

[I suppose she could have been lying about the velocity-projectile ratio, perhaps. I’ll tell the others. What’s this plan?] - M

~~~~~~~~~~

[Max says Lila’s been lying to us and we’ve been mean to Marinette can you tell the others?] - J

[Of course! Lila told me Prince Ali was her best friend the other day, and I asked him on the phone and he said she had no idea who he was! *sad puppy face*] - R

[what? Why didn’t you say anything?] - J

[oh, she told me not to tell anyone, so i didn’t. *smiley face*] - R

[if anyone tells you not to tell anyone again, please tell me. I don’t want you getting hurt] - J

[okay! I’ll say to them that Juleka’s protecting me and they can’t do anything about it! *heart eyes face* *unicorn emoji* *princess emoji*] - R

[<3] - J

[ok so this is what we’re gonna do] - J

~~~~~~~~~~

“Adrien is Chat Noir. Adrien was akumatised. Adrien is Chat Noir who likes Ladybug who is me who likes Adrien. Adrien is Chat Noir. Adrien likes Ladybug and Ladybug is me. Adrien likes me. Adrien likes _me_. Oh my God, Adrien likes me,” Marinette was in a loop. Her brain wasn’t working at all. Tikki had given up trying to console her half an hour ago and she was still repeating the same incomprehensible words. 

“Yep, I know, we went over this several times,” Tikki droned. Marinette’s brain had completely short-circuited. Adrien was an actual human who was Chat Noir who was Ladybug who liked her… no, that wasn’t right. 

“Wait, if I like Adrien, does that mean I like Chat Noir?” Marinette voiced her thoughts aloud. Tikki groaned and went back to her bed. “Oh my goodness, it’s a freaking square. Adrien, who is Chat Noir, likes Ladybug, who is me, who likes Adrien, who is Chat Noir, who likes Ladybug… I need some sleep,” Marinette announced, dropping onto her bed like a hot potato and trying unsuccessfully to rid her thoughts of Chat Noir. Who was Adrien. Who liked Ladybug. Who was her. It was going to be a long night. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette woke up with a sense of dread. Her alarm went off thirty seconds later. Tikki woke up with a muffled “Wha? Something happ-nin?” as she flew around the room like a confused bumblebee. 

“I am so not ready for today,” Marinette groaned into her pillow. “Everything is sucky, school is sucky and Mondays are even more sucky.”

Tikki whirled around lazily before slowing to a stop. “It’s okay, everything is cookies…” then she landed face-down on the table and began to lightly snore. Marinette gazed fondly at her, getting up and tucking Tikki back into her little hand-made bed, putting a cookie next to her for when she woke up and needed breakfast. Then she went downstairs to say good morning to her parents and get a large breakfast for herself. 

Four crêpes, three mini bowls of strawberries, two bananas, one rasher of bacon, a slice of toast and a poached egg later, Marinette went upstairs to get dressed and found a few cookie crumbs next to Tikki’s bed. 

“Tikki?” she called. What she did not expect was for a blurry flash of red to barrel into her face, giggling madly. “Tikki!” 

Marinette cried. “What are you doing?”

Tikki giggled some more and hiccuped. “I found some of your father’s wine and now I think I’m…” she did a little spin in the air that looked a bit like a cartwheel, “dru-u-u-

Marinette grimaced. “I only left you up here for ten minutes, how did you drink that much wine?”

Tikki laughed gaily, swooping through the air like a bird to rest on Marinette’s shoulder. “You were going on about Chat Noir so much last night and my head hurt. One of my previous holders, in America, the twenties, she told me I was a lightweight because I drank whi-i-i-skey. Do you know what a lightweight is? She said it was someone who got very dizzy when they drank wi-i-i-ine,” she sang. Marinette rolled her eyes. 

“I’m not taking you to school like this, you’ll start singing again out of nowhere and scare the crap out of everyone,” she grumbled. Tikki pouted as she drifted back to her bed, falling asleep instantly. Marinette decided she’d just have to bank on an akuma not showing up today. She wondered how Adrien was faring then shook her head to rid herself of the thought of him. Just thinking about it made her feel sad. 

She left Tikki with the promise that she’d be back if there was an akuma, disregarding the little mumble Tikki made about not wanting to do anything except sleep and eat cookies for the rest of her life. Pulling on a navy blue jacket and a pair of white jeans, Marinette waved goodbye to her parents. “Bye, Papa!” she called to her father, who was knee-deep in dough (metaphorically speaking, though it had actually happened before). Tom smiled and gave her a mini-bear hug while she waved to her mother over his shoulder. She opened the door, making the little bell jangle and she gasped in shock at the freezing cold air that rushed in the door before jogging back to her room to get her pink scarf. 

She whistled as she walked, smiling at everyone on the street and yelling greetings to all the local shop owners as she passed them by. Trotting up the steps to her school, she was overwhelmed with a huge mass of people mulling through the hallway, chatting and gossiping with their friends. She wasn’t able to push through, being such a short girl, so she had to sway around the room until the bell rang (which was only a couple of minutes later because she was never good at being early), when the crowd abruptly dispersed. She hurried to the classroom, finding everyone there except Chloe, Sabrina, Lila and Adrien. _No, don’t think about Adrien_ , she told herself. _You have to be strong now Just forget it ever happened_. 

Sitting down at the back of the class quietly, she watched as Alya came in and shot her a smile, sitting in their old spot, next to the empty seat that used to be hers. Nino came in too, sitting behind Alya in his old spot and starting a conversation about how Ladybug and Chat Noir were totally gonna get together by the end of the month. Alya caught her eye and winked, gesturing for Marinette to come over with a flourish of her hand. Marinette’s expression shifted into one of surprise. She slowly got her things and ambled over, subtly pinching herself to test if it was a dream, beaming when she didn’t wake up at the little pain in her wrist. 

“Hey, Alya,” she said softly, sitting down on the seat with a small smile. 

Alya smiled merrily. “Hey, Marinette. How you been, girl?” She leaned forward to hug her, murmuring in her ear. “Sorry about the whole Lila thing. I realised she was lying yesterday and I just wanted to say I’m really sorry about how I acted. I was a terrible best friend. Will you forgive me?”

Marinette smiled and squeezed her. “Of course I will! You’re my bestie, remember?” she lowered her voice. “Thanks for believing me, though. Lila’s been getting on my nerves a lot since she came back. How did you figure it out, though?”

Alya grimaced. “It’s a long story, but basically she lied to me and I realised that everything else was probably a lie too, which was when I realised how mean I’d been to you since she came back.” 

Marinette shrugged. “It’s no big deal, I forgive you. I’m just glad you believe me now,” she said. 

“Of course I do, bestie!” Alya linked arms with her and they started chatting about a new project Jagged Stone had called Marinette about and how exciting it was. 

Adrien came in with Félix, neither boy saying a word as Adrien went to sit next to Nino and Félix sat at the back with Nathaniel, who was quietly sketching a picture of a dark-haired boy with a red hoodie. Félix contemplated what to say to Adrien, who had been silent the entire walk to school, but he didn’t know how to say anything without letting slip that he knew Adrien was a superhero, which Adrien probably didn’t want. He wasn’t okay with just being silent, though, maybe he could write an anonymous note saying that everything was going to get better? Or maybe not, that would freak him out if someone knew his identity. Or maybe it would lift a weight off his shoulders to be able to talk to someone about his huge responsibility. Félix had no idea. He wasn’t good at reading people’s emotions. He resolved to talk to Master Fu about it instead. 

Meanwhile, he wasn’t paying attention to the emotions of anyone in the room. Neither was Marinette. She was talking happily with Alya, sure, but she put down the overexcitement to them being friends again, which was not it at all (although Alya was definitely happy about them being besties again). Rose was chatting at a considerably higher pitch than usual, Juleka was chatting at a lower pitch than usual, Ivan was extremely fidgety, Mylene was laughing at an unnatural rate, Max was barking orders to Markov and even Markov himself was zooming around. Lila came in and sat down, ignorant to the glares Alya was sending her until she realised Adrien was sitting next to Nino. “Adrien, why aren’t you sitting here?” She asked in an overly sweet voice that made Marinette’s stomach curdle. The entire class went quiet. All eyes were on Lila and Adrien. And Alya, who looked like she would soon be in jail for murder. 

Adrien just looked uncomfortable and a little ill. “I’m sitting with Nino, now, Lila. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he rubbed his neck sheepishly. Alya was still glaring daggers until Nino kicked her and she snapped out of it. 

Lila pouted. “But Adrien, I need to study with you! Won’t we still study together?” She batted her eyelashes and smiled at him. Now Alya was glaring again and Nino was too busy fuming to stop her. 

“No! He’s clearly uncomfortable, alright? Just leave him alone!” Marinette demanded. Now the gaze of the class was on her. Lila still only had eyes for Adrien. 

“Ohmygosh, Adrien, I’m so sorry! Have I really made you uncomfortable?” 

Adrien, now having seen the face of Marinette’s wrath (which Lila had bravely ignored and somehow survived from), was courageous enough to stand up for himself and not in a subtle way. “Lila, you’ve been making me consistently uncomfortable ever since you came back. You constantly lie, you drape yourself all over me and you just ignored Marinette, which is a really mean thing to do because I agree with her and she is my friend. Please just leave me alone.” 

The entire class was speechless. Yes, they’d been shamelessly eavesdropping before, but now everybody was just gaping. Adrien could have heard a pin drop. Even Lila was speechless, too flabbergasted to come up with another farfetched lie on the spot that could redeem a fraction of her reputation. Alix and Kim came cartwheeling in, covered in pink and yellow paint. Everybody was still too shocked to say anything to them.

“Hello, ladies and gents!” Kim crowed, wiping his goggles of yellow paint with two glove-covered fingers. Alix did similarly, also tipping a large purple top hat she was wearing with a flourish. Chloe and Sabrina came in, Sabrine carrying a clipboard and Chloe clearing her throat for attention despite knowing everyone was looking at her. Slapping her hands on Mme. Bustier’s desk, she raised her voice haughtily. “People of the jury, my name is Chloe Bourgeois and I am here to prove once and for all that Lila is a lying snake who does not deserve to be in our school.” Sabrine tapped on her tablet and made a large presentation come up of the screen with an opening image of a snake and the heading ‘Lila is a Liar’. 

Alya cleared her throat as well. “Actually, Chloe, there’s been a bit of a develo-” Chloe interrupted her with a strut and a finger pressed to her lips. 

“Hush, young grasshopper. Questions can wait until after the presentation.”

Nino coughed as well. “You know, Chloe-” the look she gave him was enough to silence him. 

“Hush, hush. No questions,” Chloe ordered. The class was silent (not that they’d been saying much of anything in the last ten minutes anyway). Alix whipped out a pink baton, pointing to the board, which now read ‘LILA: THE LIES’. She then moved on to a list of the lies Lila told on her first day back, courtesy of the collective class, before moving on to the rest of the week. Fifteen minutes later, she’d finished talking and Lila was the colour of an ugly, overripe beetroot. 

The class had had enough of the drama. “Guys?” Adrien called out. 

Chloe paused in her ranting. “What is it, Adrikins?”

“I already told Lila all of this and to leave me alone and you really don’t need to do this for me,” Adrien said. 

Chloe scoffed. “It wasn’t for you, Adrikins. I mean, sure, it’s great that she’s not hanging all over you like a sloth, but this is for Marinette. Speaking of which, we made an apology card! Surprise!” Alix and Kim simultaneously pulled party poppers and showered streamers upon a somewhat disgruntled class and a flabbergasted Marinette. 

“...Okay? Thanks? I… I don’t really know what to say…” Marinette mumbled, too dumbstruck to string words together to make a sentence, which happened frequently to her. 

Juleka looked at her sympathetically. “Guys, just give her a break, she deserves a bit of rest.” 

Adrien looked a bit hurt too. He’d wanted to be better friends with Marinette for a while because he thought she still might not like him much after the whole gum fiasco and nobody had told him about the apology card. Marinette would probably realise he hadn’t signed it and be mad at him for being a bad friend. It was what he deserved, though. He’d thought about not wanting Marinette to confront Lila for a while because of the conversation he’d had with Félix and had decided that he’d done the wrong thing. And now because of not being able to sign the card because he hadn’t been told about it, he really needed to do something to make it up to Marinette for everything. She was such a nice girl and one of his closest friends, the least he could do was try do something nice for her. He would need to brainstorm some ideas after school. Maybe take her out somewhere nice?

The truth was, although Adrien didn’t know it, Nino had heard it in passing a while before, during the conversation Félix and Adrien had been having. He hadn’t been meaning to eavesdrop, but he’d caught a couple of snatches of their conversation and had heard Adrien mentioning something about knowing Lila was lying and telling Marinette not to do anything. He hadn’t intruded because it was a private moment and they were talking quietly, but unfortunately he had rather good hearing. He’d told Alya after they’d made the plan for exposing Lila and had told the others and she’d been furious. She had calmed down considerably since then, but she hadn’t told Adrien a single thing about the apology card, telling Nino that Adrien could sort it out himself. Nino had wanted to stick up for his best bud, but Alya was insanely mad and even though he didn’t want to admit it, Adrien had pretty much dug himself into this one. 

Marinette had no idea about any of this, though. Alya hadn’t told her a single thing, but she didn’t ship them as much anymore. She’d decided that Adrien needed to prove himself worthy of her best friend if they were going to be together and until then, she wasn’t helping Marinette get in a relationship with him if she could help it. She’d help her out if she asked, since they were best friends and she didn’t want to let her down, but she wasn’t going to leave them alone if she had any authority in the matter at all. In fact, she’d been thinking about setting Marinette up with Luka, Juleka’s brother. He seemed nice enough, he was head over heels for Marinette and he was the kind of guy who would probably know how to treat a girl right. She wasn’t going to actively do or say anything, but she was going to scheme behind the scenes for a bit until she knew Marinette either liked Luka or wasn’t interested. 

Marinette herself hadn’t been thinking about boys much lately. At least, not in the way Alya was thinking. She’d been deliberating what to do about Adrien for a while and had decided it was best to get over her crush on him and get to know Chat Noir better. Even if she still liked him deep down, she knew that she didn’t actually know who he was as a person, if Chat Noir was anything to go by. He was nothing like Adrien, but they were the same person. And that worried her because it made her feel like she didn’t actually know Adrien like she thought she did, so she was going to stop any romantic pursuit and actually get to know him better. She was ceasing all romance in her life, or at least with a certain blond, green-eyed boy, but she didn’t think she wanted to go fishing for other boys. It was too much trouble. She’d rather just be friends with everyone. Friendship was so much easier to control. 

“Juleka’s right,” Marinette said abruptly. “I just need to be alone for a minute, thanks.” She left the classroom, much to the surprise of everyone else. Adrien shared a worried look with Félix, who didn't know how to help. She said she wanted to be left alone and he respected that, but he would visit her or text her later. Mme Mendeleiev came in at that moment, clapping her hands, sending the paint-covered Alix and Kim to their seats without blinking twice and marking the start of the lesson. 

“Attention, class!” Mme Mendeleiev announced. “Today we’re going to be studying electrons and their shells, which are also known as valence shells when they’re full. We’ll start with the history and discovery of electrons and protons. In 1897, J. J Thomson measured the charge-to-mass ratio for electrons in a beam...” Félix zoned out after that. He texted Alya to go and check on Marinette because he was worried after the twenty minutes of the lesson that she had apparently spent in the bathroom. She sent him a glare that could kill weaker men and a text that read ‘I don’t need you to do my job for me, Agreste’. She excused herself another five minutes later and went to the bathroom to look for Marinette, who still hadn’t come back yet. Adrien looked stressed out as he watched Alya go. Félix texted him as well to ask if he was alright. Also, it was never a bad time to push Marinette and Adrien together, even though the stubborn, oblivious prat still hadn’t admitted his feelings for the girl. 

[are you alright? You seem a bit rattled.] - F

[yeah, i’m jsut worried about mari. she seemed pretty upset and she hasnt been back for ages] - A

[I hope she’s okay. Don’t worry too much about her, though. I sent a text to Alya to go look for her, so at least she’s not alone.] - F

Alya found Marinette sitting on the floor in the bathroom, alone. Marinette had a sense of deja vu as soon as Alya walked in - it reminded her of when Lila confronted her. Only this time, it was a friend coming to comfort her and not an enemy trying to bring her down. She sat next to Marinette and stared at the wall with her, wrapping her arm around her in a hug. Marinette accepted it gratefully and they stayed still for a moment, wrapped up in their embrace. 

Alya pulled back and laughed slightly. Marinette stared at her. “What is it?”

“I don’t really know. This whole thing seems funny, really. I mean, last time you were here with Lila and she was all ‘I’m going to take your friends away from you!’ and now you’re just here with me, your friend who’s not going to be taken away from you,” Alya giggled. 

Marinette leaned back cautiously. “When did I tell you about Lila coming after me in the bathroom? I don’t think I told anyone about that.”

Alya stretched her arms and yawned. “Oh, you know. I saw it through her eyes and all that.” She waved it off with the brush of a hand. 

Marinette stood up, stepping away slowly. “Alya?”

“Yes?”

“Your eyes are red.” Marinette’s voice was quaking now. 

“Oh, are they? I hadn’t realised.” Alya’s voice was almost a hiss now. This person didn’t sound like Alya. 

“Wh-what are you?” Marinette whispered. 

Alya - no, not Alya - Not-Alya smirked. “Shouldn’t you be able to guess?” She leant in closer to Marinette, who leaned further and further back until she fell over. 

“HEL-” Marinette’s scream was cut short by Not-Alya’s hand over her mouth. 

“We wouldn’t want to get the others, would we?” Not-Alya whispered. “Quiet now,” she crooned, stroking Marinette’s head. Marinette was terrified, but she still had her quick-thinking instincts. She waited silently until Not-Alya had her eyes closed and was humming a lullaby, still stroking her head, before she darted out of the bathroom, sprinting as fast as her legs could carry her. Not-Alya’s eyes snapped open and ran after her, hissing. 

“Akuma!” Marinette screamed, running through the hallway and past the classrooms. The akuma kept up its pursuit, despite the people swarming and panicking. It didn’t slow down, it kept up its speed walk pace relentlessly. Marinette ran for her life. Félix ran after them, trying to help Marinette. Adrien went as quick as he could to the bathroom so he could transform and go after them. He had a duty to Paris, as well as a need to protect Marinette and Félix. Maybe he’d see Ladybug and be able to apologise. 

By the time he got to the bathroom, Plagg was already out of his pocket. “Adrien, there’s something I need to tell you. The akuma’s not-”

Adrien interrupted him. “There’s no time, Plagg! Claws out!” Plagg’s mouth opened to say something but his voice was drowned out as he was sucked into the ring so Adrien could transform. Chat Noir wasted no time. He ran on all fours in the direction that Marinette, Félix and the akuma had gone. Vaulting up onto the rooftop, he leapt across buildings for a sight of them. He heard a distant, feminine-sounding voice yelling “Akuma!”, so he followed the sound with his super sense of hearing. Once he found Marinette, on her own and puffing a lot, he slowed down and slid down the side of the wall to reach her in the alley below. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, anxious. 

She gave a start. “Chat Noir? What are you doing here?”

Chat was incredulous at the very question. “Why, looking after my Princess of course, making sure she’s not in any distress,” he said with a roguish grin. 

Marinette’s cheeks were momentarily pink, before she mentally slapped her forehead and racked her brain. “I need to go and hide, Chat Noir. I’ll ju- ARGH!” She screamed as Chat Noir scooped her up bridal style and lifted her up with his staff, running back across the buildings with her. “PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW, CHAT NOIR!” She hollered. Chat laughed, putting her down on a building gently and letting her get to her feet, wobbling and looking green. 

“Alright, Princess, don’t get your knickers in a knot,” he grinned. Marinette just glared at him.

“I’ll go and find the akuma now,” he said abashedly, realising how weird that might’ve been for his friend. 

Marinette grimaced and nodded. “...Yeah, that’s probably best.” Without another word, Chat Noir flew away to find Félix, leaving Marinette on her own. “Finally,” she mumbled. She had to get Tikki. The poor thing was still at home.

Marinette had to sprint all the way back to her house, rushing through the front door and running up the stairs to scoop a sleepy Tikki out of her bed and into her pocket, yelling an excuse to her surprised parents about how she had to get something for school that she left at home. She whirled around a lady covered in shawls who was muttering to herself and jogged down the street and into the back of an alley.

Tikki floated out of her pocket. “I’m still so sleepy,” she yawned, hovering in front of Marinette’s face. 

Marinette laughed, sympathising with Tikki’s constant need for sleep and sustenance (it both opinions, it was the key to a happy life). “I should transform and go find Chat Noir, though. If he’s left alone too long, he’ll probably annoy the akuma to death with his puns. Tikki, spots on!” Transforming into Ladybug, she looped her yo-yo around a lamppost and swung through the street like a monkey. She couldn’t find the akuma or Chat Noir, but she did find Félix wandering around, looking lost. 

“Ladybug!” he exclaimed. “Do you know where the akuma is? It went after my friend Marinette and I think I saw Chat Noir a few blocks away, but he didn’t see me because he was going too fast. Have you seen him?” Ladybug shook her head, not wanting to get in some complication because of her identity. 

“Do you know what the akuma is?” she asked. “It looked like that girl that run the Ladyblog, but it might’ve been like Chameleon, mimicking things. Did you see where it went?”

“Mimicking,” Félix said, rubbing his chin. “I like it. Sounds mysterious. The Mimic. Fitting.”

Ladybug narrowed her eyes. Félix smiled innocently. Now that she was paying more attention to his appearance, she noticed his eyes were darker. Instead of their usual grey, they were almost black. She struck him down, pinning his arms behind his back. “What have you done with Félix?” she demanded. He didn’t answer, still struggling. “Spit it out,” she commanded.

“He’s as good as dead now,” he snarled. “You’re not going to find him, trust me.”

Ladybug laughed: a short, cold bark. “I do have a habit of trusting akumas, don’t I?” She pulled his hands together tightly. “Drop the act. _Where is he?_ The Mimic shrugged wordlessly, eyes fixated upon a shiny black beetle scuttling nearby. Ladybug’s mouth dropped open as his body shrunk, shriveling up and turning to nothing. Even his clothes were shrinking, getting smaller and smaller, darker and darker, until the akuma was nothing more than a shiny black beetle with a solitary red spot. Ladybug scowled as the beetle flew away. 

Chat Noir caught up to Ladybug, landing with padded feet onto the ground noiselessly. Ladybug was startled when he put a hand on her shoulder. “Where’s the akuma?” he asked. 

Ladybug swatted at his hand. “Don’t sneak up on me, Chaton! The akuma’s gone. It transformed into Félix and tricked me for a couple of minutes before it turned into a beetle and flew away. It calls itself the Mimic. Wait - how do I know you’re the real Chat Noir?” she said, turning around and looking at him with distrusting eyes. 

Chat Noir held his hands up. “It’s me, I swear - I probably came from a different direction. Where did you see the akuma go?” he asked. Ladybug pointed west. Chat Noir shrugged, pointing the other way. “I came this way, so logically I can’t be the akuma. Which reminds me, how did you know it was an akuma if it looked like a normal civilian?” 

Ladybug thought. “One of them, the Ladyblogger, had different coloured eyes. They were red. And the other, Félix, he had black eyes, when I’m pretty sure he usually has grey.” Chat Noir prickled, half with jealousy of Félix that Ladybug knew the colour of his eyes and half anxiety for the safety of his cousin. 

“Did the akuma say what happened to them?” he asked, trying to figure out where Félix could be. 

Ladybug shrugged helplessly. “They said something about him being asleep and me never being able to find him,” she responded. 

Chat Noir scratched his forehead, racking his brain. “Maybe he’s at their hideout or something? In a back street somewhere?” The thought made him nervous. He didn’t want Félix to be on his own, unconscious, in an unknown location with an akuma. Ladybug was equally nervous, wringing her hands until she accidentally cracked her knuckles and swore. 

“I guess we’ll have to bait him then,” Ladybug decided. 

Chat Noir volunteered himself. “Anything to help m’lady,” he bowed his head and did a weird gesture with his arms that looked a bit like an old-fashioned dab. 

Ladybug sighed, slapping him lightly on the head and nodding to the air. “Shall we go, then?”

She didn’t wait for Chat Noir as she whizzed away. “Hey, wait up!” Chat called. 

“You’ll have to catch me first!” Ladybug yelled over her shoulder, already a few blocks away. Chat laughed and raced after her with his staff as they raced over the city on a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy! Happy Easter! I’m writing this on an iPad so it’s going to capitalise everything and make my grammar right rip  
> * sorry that I haven’t updated in a while, I had a bit of writers block and I haven’t been as motivated to write because I’ve been relaxing and on holiday doing heaps of holiday stuff (i just saw a dude called lizardman swallow a sword and put a fork in his nose)  
> * I apparently have way more salt leftover from chameleon than I thought  
> * Alya is not akumatised. Someone else has been akumatised and is called the Mimic and their powers are similar to chameleon but they can transform into animals and can become invisible/translucent  
> * I’ve already written half of chapter 12 which should be up in a week and I’ll get a steadier writing schedule when the holidays end  
> * as always, thank you for reading! Please comment to tell me if you see any mistakes or suggestions (if you have a suggestion I might not change it but I’d be grateful if you still told me anyway)  
> <3<3<3<3<3


	12. Akuma Alert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alya action, félix's tragic life, ladynoirrrr, chloe is a queen, plagg actually shows up and says what the heck's going on, gabriel is gabriel, conspiracy theories, more ladynoir and i'm nearly at the end of a giant writing marathon (i wrote 29k words this month XD)

Alya Cesaire hated small spaces. Her elder sister Nora had once locked her up in a cupboard when she was only five, as retribution for stealing Nora’s teddy bear. Alya’s parents didn’t come home until an hour later, so poor Alya had been shivering in the closet and whispering to herself by the time they found her. It had been seen to by Alya’s mother that Nora paid in kind, but her punishment did nothing to erase Alya’s scars. From then on, she had hated being alone or in small spaces. She’d created her claustrophobia. Nora was always there to protect her afterwards, never letting anyone hurt her precious baby sister. But Alya was still afraid of being trapped. And being alone. And of the dark.

Lucky for her, she had all three. 

Alya was stuck in a tiny, cramped space with only a hint of light filtering through three tiny slits. She woke up with pins and needles in her arms and feet from being squashed up in an uncomfortable position. She could barely feel her feet through the pain and numbness. She sucked in a short breath when she regained consciousness, trying to wiggle around and steadily growing more and more horrified at the lack of room. Her feet were curved in on themselves within the tall, thin box thing she was stuck in. It almost felt a bit like one of the lockers at her high school. She tested it out and gave the side she assumed to be a door a big push with her side. To her surprise, it fell open and she toppled out the side in a heap. 

“Ow,” Alya groaned. Her ribs hurt. She lay down and just sat still for a moment, breathing through her mouth steadily. At least she was awake now. Alya slowly got to her feet, treading carefully on her still-cramped feet. She had to find Ladybug and Chat Noir to warn them. The akuma was coming. 

She couldn’t remember much, but it was all coming back to her slowly. Alya had been walking to school in the morning by herself and she could remember some creepy weirdo with a terrible taste in clothing (he’d been wearing triple beige with a gold dollar necklace around his neck, and he had the waist of his tracksuit pants at what looked like his knee) staring at her from across the street, walking in the same direction as her. She’d turned a couple of extra times to get to school the long way so she could lose this guy, but he was still walking after her, so she started running and had crashed into a nice-looking old lady, who had apologised profusely and had insisted that Alya come in for a cup of chamomile tea, insisting on it when Alya gratefully said no thank you. Reluctantly, Alya had gone in and the woman had practically shoved the cup in her face, which she thought was a bit rude. She’d sat down with the lady, who had begun babbling about how annoying moths were. That’s where the memory ended. Damn it, that was the akuma. The innocent old ladies with their tea were always the evil ones in the movies, she should’ve figured it out. Argh.

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Félix woke up in a dark, damp place. He would have guessed it to be a cave, except for the fact that there were no caves in Paris. Probably not too many in the whole of France, either. He tried to get up, wincing when he realised that somewhere in his leg, something was broken, or at the very least, sprained badly enough to prevent him from standing up. He also realised that his hands were in cuffs attached to the wall by something he couldn’t see. It was extremely dark in the ‘cave’ except for a dim light he now noticed, about twenty metres away from him. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say it was a lamp. He heard a malevolent cackle in the shadows. _It must be the akuma_ , he realised. 

“You know, it was incredibly easy to find you. What did you expect, wandering around the streets on your own when an akuma was out?” The voice called maliciously. Félix groaned, his head pounding. He couldn’t see the owner of the voice because of the lack of light, but he had a bad feeling that the owner of the voice could see him perfectly. 

“Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting someone to bloody abduct me, that's for damn sure,” Félix bit out. His snark did nothing as a way of a deterrent to the voice, which now sounded decidedly female. 

“Oh, I think abducting is a bit of a strong word,” the voice drawled, oozing with calm and the sort of posh attitude that Félix attributed to many of the snotty, high-class people he’d been forced to socialise with at yacht parties. They’d also had similar motives; one time he’d been held at ransom by a weirdo with a tragic backstory who had been posing as a rich socialite when he was, in reality, just a miserable old white guy who was having an existential crisis and wanted to money so he could add some ‘meaning’ to his meaningless life (these were his own words, Félix hadn’t been exaggerating about how tragic his life was). His parents had paid the ransom, of course, but apparently, they’d suspected him of lewd activity and had hired a private investigator who had deduced his plan to take Félix hostage, so instead of taking action, they decided to let it play out so that they had enough proof and conviction to arrest him. Félix hadn’t actually known about the plan, so he was a bit irate for a while afterwards, but then they’d bought him a sports car so he’d just accepted it with grace and then used it to drive away and stay in a luxury hotel for a week. Anyway, he’d had his fair share of abductions. Félix was no stranger to negotiating, either. His parents had also, conveniently, negotiated him into going to business school, which meant he was able to drive a hard bargain against anyone, including this as-of-yet unknown person that was probably an akuma. He didn’t know if having a purple butterfly villain yammering on in your head made you less susceptible to terrible deals being made against you. 

“I prefer to call it dissented location enhancement, personally,” the voice continued, then mumbled something about annoying moths and not being bothered enough to go and get the Miraculouses. Félix decided to take that as a yes. 

“Ladybug and Chat Noir are coming, you know. They’ll find me, whether or not you try to stop them, and they’ll defeat you,” he declared determinedly. 

The voice laughed derisively. “They’re going to lose, just like everyone else in life. You may win once, then again and again, but you can’t keep winning forever, you know.” The voice faded at it kept speaking, to the point where Félix could only hear strings of their sentences and little tidbits of information, so he assumed the akuma was going elsewhere, which meant he finally had a chance to try and escape on his own. He’d been faking the spiel about Ladybug and Chat Noir coming to save him. He knew it’d be a hell of a lot more difficult to get him when he was underground. Even he didn’t know what part of Paris he was in. Hell, he might not even be in France. The voice muttered a few words like “Stupid Hawkmoth” and “This would be so much nicer if you weren’t banging on about the Miraculouses so much, you know”. Félix almost laughed, if not for the fact he was busy trying to create a plan of escape. So far, the best he had was trying to wiggle around to dislodge a hairpin in his back pocket that he’d had leftover from one of his photo shoots in Moscow that he’d taken out because it felt too weird wearing it. His hair was not the kind that was meant to be worn with a hairpin, but the makeup artist had decided that it apparently ‘went with his look’. Félix was able to use his tied-up hands to deftly remove the hairpin from his pocket and manoeuvre it in order for it to unlock his handcuffs. He heard a satisfying little click and smirked, stretching his arms after unlocking it and revelling in the lack of cramps. 

Félix heard footsteps clicking down the tunnel. He hurriedly hid his hands behind his back, as well as the handcuffs. He felt the eyes upon him once again. The sense of knowing he was being watched was extremely eerie. The voice echoed through the hall, reverberating off the walls. “What was that?” The voice asked suspiciously. 

Félix tried to fake one of his million-dollar grins. “Probably Ladybug and Chat Noir coming to rescue me. I expect I’ll be out of this hellhole in the next twenty minutes.” He’d learnt from experience that adding a grain of truth to a lie made it much more believable. His theory was proven correct when the voice let out a relieved whoosh of air and he heard the footsteps click-clacking away. A quiet “As if” could be distantly heard as the voice travelled further and further away, making Félix’s shoulders relax and causing his shoulders to cease their tenseness. He was convinced he was safe. 

He quickly clambered up, looking for a way to escape. The tunnel he was in was built like a maze: going only a few metres further down, he found a crossroad where he could take three possible paths. He figured the akuma must’ve gone down one of them, but he couldn’t for the life of him hear anything that would clue him into which one it was. Félix decided to take his chances and went right. He could feel slight dampness underfoot; he figured the cause was one of the cons of being stuck in some sort of sewer, even though he shuddered slightly at the thought. Thank God he was wearing shoes. 

Félix found a smidgeon of light in the corner of his eye as he was walking, almost gong straight past the spectacle. His eyes sharpened at the sight as he backtracked and craned his neck. He could barely see anything, it was pitch black, but he could sort of tell that there was a hole or lack of roof above him. Maybe it was a way out. Félix felt along the walls with his hand, slightly disgusted when he found it to be damp but braving the atrocities that came with being forced to inhabit a sewer. His hand caught on what seemed to be a rung and his heart jumped up a little in excitement. It was about the height of his shoulder, so he lifted himself up, silently thanking his fitness trainers for being able to do pull-ups. He climbed up onto the rung and pulled himself up a few metres before his head bumped into something hard and solid. Félix lifted his hand up to feel for some sort of handle illuminated by a little crack of light in the roof-like thing that was half a centimetre side and a quarter of a centimetre thick. When he couldn't find any obvious lump to open the hatch, he used his last resort and just pushed it really hard. 

Félix found himself outside, standing on a random street that he couldn’t identify, what with having barely been in Paris for a week. There weren’t any distinguishing features of the street he was standing on, except for the fact it looked well-kept, had a very large house near him and was probably at least somewhat expensive to live in. That didn’t help at all, but it narrowed it down by a couple of arrondissements, which only left him with the vast majority of Paris. Yay. 

He saw a police officer running down the street towards him, spluttering in shock. “I-wh-you can’t be there!” The officer exclaimed. “Get over here now!”

Félix strolled over with the pretence of calm. “I’m sorry, Officer, I was trying to-”

“I don’t care what you were trying to do, you can’t be in the sewers! I’m arresting you for trespassing on private land!”

“Wh-private land?” Now Félix was the one spluttering. “I’m Félix Agreste! I can be wherever I bloody well please!” His face turned an ugly red when the officer handcuffed him. _Not again_ , he thought. 

“I have no idea who that is, lad, but either way, you’re coming with me,” the officer said grimly. Félix heard the static of a walkie talkie. “Yep, Officer Raincomprix, I’ve got a blond boy on 8th Arrondissement trespassing. Bringing him up to the station now, sir.”

Félix vaguely recognized the name Raincomprix as the surname of one of the people in his class, though he couldn’t think which one it was. He followed the officer reluctantly as the man led him to a car and half-gently pushed him in, closing the door behind him. 

The ride to the police station was both a waste of time and mindlessly boring. The officer had put on some gardening station on the radio, so Félix had to listen to some weirdo talking about field mushrooms for over half an hour. The officer twittered on to himself about taking notes for which type of soil was better for an enokitake mushroom to grow in a pot. Suffice to say, it was slowly driving Félix to insanity. 

Once they reached the station, about forty-five minutes later, the officer finally dragged Félix out of the car and into the station, where a red-headed police officer was awaiting them impatiently. 

“Come on, bring the kid inside, let’s get this over with,” he said gruffly. Félix agreed wholeheartedly. The other officer bowed his head in respect of his superior officer. They brought him into a small white office where the officer that had brought him in left him with who he assumed to be Officer Raincomprix. 

“So, what’s your last name?” Raincomprix said, rummaging among papers, oblivious to Félix’s growing agitation over the akuma. 

“Agreste,” Félix said impatiently. 

Raincomprix’s head perked up. “Agreste as in Adrien Agreste? Don’t you go to school with my daughter?”

Félix thanked his lucky stars that he had this tiny advantage. Maybe it’d help him get out of here sooner. “No, that’s my cousin, but I’m in his class. What’s your daughter’s name?”

“Sabrina,” Raincomprix replied. He’d stopped looking for papers and was now paying a lot more attention to Félix. Not that it was unappreciated, Félix needed someone to listen to him so he could get out sooner and find the superheroes. He didn’t know anyone called Sabrina personally, but he assumed she was redheaded like her father and he was pretty sure there was a female redhead or two in the class. 

“Yeah, I think there’s a Sabrina in our class, but I don’t know her personally,” Félix said, trying to make the best out of a less-than-convenient situation. 

Raincomprix sighed, now uninterested. “Where were you trespassing again?” He abruptly changed the subject. 

“...I was in the sewers, in this cave place,” Félix said awkwardly. He received a raised eyebrow. “I was abducted,” he tried to defend himself.

Raincomprix squinted. “By who?” He said incredulously.

“An akuma! It’s still out there!” Félix had reached the end of his tether. Standing up, he placed two fists on the surprised officer’s desk and towered over him. “I was kidnapped by an akuma, brought to some tunnel underground and I escaped single-handedly with no clue where I was and then I was arrested by some buffoon and made to sit in a car and listen to a radio show about mushrooms for half an hour!” Félix raged. 

Officer Raincomprix was speechless. Félix huffed and stomped out of the building, zero attempts to prevent him from leaving by Raincomprix. Félix supposed being kidnapped by an akuma was terrible grounds for being arrested and it wasn’t worth even trying. Once he was out of the building, he stood still for a moment to gain his bearings before digging around in his pocket for a phone. When he found one, he immediately called the Gorilla, who promised to be there in ten minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Ladybug was at a loss. Chat had split up so they could cover more ground to find Félix and the akuma and they’d promised to meet up with each other at the Eiffel Tower an hour later, but here they were and here Félix and the akuma weren’t. Chat Noir was pacing back and forth with the air of someone who had nervous energy and no idea what to do with it. 

“Maybe we should just do a rain check and look for them again in the morning,” Ladybug suggested. 

Chat Noir turned to face her agitatedly. “We can’t just leave an akuma on the loose!” He said in distress. 

Ladybug’s face softened. “I’m sorry, Chat, but we can’t keep looking for them forever. Tikki’s getting tired, I can feel it, and I’m sure Plagg is too. We can’t keep going much longer.”

Chat slumped, depressed. “Yeah. We should probably just go home. Goodnight, Ladybug.” He looked forlornly at her before jumping away. Ladybug heard her earrings beep. 

“Guess that’s time for us to go too, Tikki,” she said before dropping down to another rooftop and racing back to her house so she’d be home in time for dinner. It was a lot warmer now in the light of the sunset; she hoped Félix had gotten home safe and sound. She told her stubborn mind to shut up and stop worrying about it as she ducked down onto her balcony and detransformed, catching a half-conscious Tikki in her hands and laying her gently down on her bed nice she went in through the trapdoor. Marinette’s legs felt like lead. She traipsed around her room to rest her legs on the chaise longue.

“Marinette, come down for dinner!” Sabine called. 

“Yes, Maman, coming!” Marinette yelled back, quietly moaning at the lack of rest that her legs so desperately needed as she slid down the stairs with a bright smile on her face to meet her parents. 

“We’ve made coq au vin tonight, Marinette!” Her father exclaimed excitedly. He was bent over roast potatoes, busying himself with finding the perfect garnish with a fervency. Marinette forgot her worries at the delicious smell flowing through her nose as her parents bustled around, making dinner. 

“And we’ve made fresh custard tarts for dessert,” her maman added with a sparkle in her eye. Marinette went over to help her father look for the perfect herbs, content and having completely forgotten about Félix, the akuma and how troubled Chat Noir looked when he left. Above the house and its happy inhabitants, the Parisian sky reflected Marinette’s mood with a glowing, golden pink horizon, and a few little stars that still found the energy to shine even when they were almost invisible among the soft white clouds and the pink-purplish haze of the sunset.

~~~~~~~~~~

 

The air was cold, and so was her heart. The ground was cold. The sky was dark. The stars were mirrored in a nearby puddle. Moonlight shone on the pavement far below her, glittering so similarly to the faraway stars above. The darkness was welcomed by none more than her; the cold seeped into her bones and she did nothing to prevent it. She took pleasure in feeling the cool air wash over her face, the breeze flowing gently across her body. She lay down with something that could not be called content but was certainly not unhappiness. The roof felt cool beneath her stretched-out fingertips and her stretched-out toes. She took great enjoyment in the sense of freedom that she had been given; the sense of untapped power. She felt her body shrink as the world rose up around her, bigger and bigger until what had once been twenty square metres of rooftop now felt like an endless expanse. But the sky above was still the same. Still she could see the stars, just as tiny and faraway as ever. It comforted her a great deal. She stretched her midnight-black wings, flying up, up and away to the stars.

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Ladybug! Ladybug!” Alya panted from her bike. She’d been pedalling at the speed of light for the past ten minutes, trying to catch up with the speck of polka dots that she’d caught sight of a few minutes earlier. 

Ladybug had been on patrol by herself, even though tonight was one of the nights that she and Chat Noir had double patrol. He hadn’t shown up. She had gone out after dinner and he hadn’t been waiting for her at their meeting spot like he was for the past few days of the week. He was almost always early, but that night he had been a no-show. If she was being honest with herself, she was worried about him. And the akuma. 

It had only been a day and she’d seen Félix around the school, but there had been less than a peep from Chat Noir. She had tried to be sensitive about his akumatisation, but it was difficult with him being so closed off. They hadn’t had a chance to properly talk since before the incident, because every time she’d tried to bring up the topic he would shut her down and change the subject to the weather or the rise in akuma activity lately. She was worried about that, too. 

There had been hardly any akumas for several weeks before school had started. They were few and far between, and easy to take down. But recently, they’d had as many as four in a week. There was only so many late nights Marinette could take before she started stabbing every butterfly she saw (even the actual non-magic ones, she was that exhausted). The akuma attacks had been relentless, so much so that even the normally amiable Tikki had been acting gruff and sarcastic lately, and sleeping even more than she was prone to do usually (which was really saying something).

“Alya? What are you doing here? It’s nighttime, you should be home,” Ladybug said, worried for Alya’s safety. There was an akuma on the loose, it wasn’t safe for civilians to just wander around the streets at night. The mayor had issued a warning on her behalf and had created a temporary curfew for all residents. Ladybug had been working overtime, and she was determined to keep doing so until the akuma was captured and stubborn civilians such as Alya Cesaire didn’t get murdered in the middle of the night. 

“There’s an akuma,” Alya kept on panting. She was really puffed out. Even though Ladybug was a superhero, she still couldn’t get used to how fast she was, just running around with a bloody _yo-yo_. “It stuffed me in a closet, I think? I literally just woke up right then, ‘cause Nora didn’t wake me up and I was seriously tired and I was in a locker, like seriously, a school _locker_ , it was so weird-”

Ladybug interrupted her. “Alya, I know about the akuma. Chat Noir and I tried to find it yesterday. I’ve been searching for it for the past two hours. Are you okay, though? That sounds really bad,” she grimaced. 

Alya yawned. “Shit. It wasn’t that bad, there was just a weird hippie lady who drugged chamomile and then I woke up in my locker at my school with really bad cramps. I’m so hungry, though. I could literally kill for a burger right now. Wanna get one?” Away suggested tiredly, yawning again. 

Ladybug deliberated. “You know what? You can get home and have a rest, I’ll go and grab a burger and bring it to your house, okay? You look like you need to have a rest, Alya. I’ll update you on the akuma situation tomorrow. I think right now, though, you just need a bit more sleep until you’ve fully recovered. Sound good?”

Alya couldn’t hide her relief. “That sounds awesome, Ladybug. Thanks.” She hugged Ladybug abruptly. It took a second for the girl to respond and hug her back, but when she did it looked like a hug between two best friends who had known and taken care of each other for years. 

Ladybug broke the hug first. “Let’s get you home, okay?” She said with a soft smile. Ally nodded and put an arm around her waist as Ladybug hooked her yo-yo around a lamppost and flew to Alya’s house, dropping her gently down at the balcony of her apartment when she got there. 

“I’ll be back with a burger,” Ladybug promised. “And your bike.”

Alya laughed. “It’s okay, Ladybug. I’ll get the bike tomorrow morning, but thank you for the burger. I think I’m going to drop as soon as I get on my bed, but I’m like, ridiculously hungry. Probably the not eating for two days thing,” she yawned. 

Ladybug grinned at her and took off, yelling a “See you in a minute!” behind her. 

Alya walked with heavy, tired legs into her apartment, finding her sisters asleep son the couch and the TV still on, turned to some Disney movie. She smiled fondly at them and picked up a blanket off the floor and covered all three of them with it to keep their legs warm. Even Nora had dozed off, asleep like a rock with the twins cuddling her waist. Alya sat next to them, crawling underneath the blanket next to the twins. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the back of the couch and woke up the next morning to find a cold burger sitting on her balcony, wrapped up in a piece of red and black polka dotted paper. 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Adrien woke up the next morning with a sense of dread. Félix was sound asleep in the next room, having slept through his alarm with the power of purposeful ignorance. He, however, had been having a terrible time for the last few days, due to the obvious. It had been four years since the first akuma and he hadn’t had so much as a hint of akumatisation himself, but one sad moment had turned him into a monster. Adrien was positive that he’d had considerably worse moments since Hawkmoth showed up, but these days it felt different. He couldn’t remember anything from when he was akumatised, but he could remember the moments from just before. The akuma hadn’t been purple, or at least, not the usual purple he was accustomed to. Adrien saw akumas nearly every day, he knew what they looked like. The akuma that infected him was not purple, it was darker. He still hadn’t told Ladybug about it. He knew she cared and wanted to talk to him about it, get it all out, but he didn’t know how to talk about it. It was too difficult knowing that he’d become a monster and had hunted her down. He didn’t want to know the details of his betrayal.

Félix had tried to subtly comfort him, trying to talk to him more often and being more open and talkative than usual. Adrien had remained a closed book, and Félix didn't know how to help him recover. He didn’t know what akuma victims were like, but he imagined the aftermath to be rather traumatic. Truth be told, Adrien hadn’t been sleeping much lately. His grades had dropped from the usual perfect score and he hadn’t been doing as well in his modelling. But nobody had been able to find a reason for it except Félix. Chat Noir was a burden that only Adrien and Félix shared, except Félix didn’t know how to tell him that he knew. 

Adrien got up with a great deal of reluctance. He found his weekly modelling schedule sitting on the table on the other side of the room, courtesy of Natalie. His father hadn’t been making any efforts to speak to him more than usual, even with Félix around. Adrien supposed he used Félix as an excuse not to talk to him because now Adrien had someone else to talk to. He’d been a lot less bright and chirpy around him, despite being happier with him than in general. In Adrien’s eyes, Félix was amazing, so he always felt a bit happier around him. 

Adrien wandered into Félix’s room holding a hot chocolate that one of the chefs prepared for him. Gabriel didn’t like Adrien drinking hot chocolate, but Adrien digressed that it was better than coffee and somehow he always ended up with one, whether Gabriel allowed it or not. It was because all the cooks loved him, though. They all had nicknames for him that sounded much nicer than ‘Adrikins’. Most of the time, Adrien would show up with a hot chocolate that had whipped cream and marshmallows. If Gabriel could do anything about it, he would, but firing all the chefs would probably be unwise. He’d done it once before when Adrien was slightly younger and he’d been in very similar circumstances, but firing the first bunch had only resulted in a second bunch who were even more fond of Adrien. Gabriel thought of it as the vicious cycle of charm. Natalie had told him that it was just the lack of sugar making him feel jealous and bitter. Gabriel had refused to respond to that. 

“Hey Félix,” Adrien said, sipping his hot chocolate. Félix groaned loudly and shoved his pillow over his ears. He really valued his beauty sleep. Adrien walked over, placed his mug down on the bedside table and ripped the blanket off Félix. “Come on, sleepyhead, we have school today,” Adrien said, picking up the mug and taking another sip. Sometimes he felt like the cooks were his best friends. 

“No.” Félix’s voice was muffled against his pillow, but he made his feeling clear by kicking his legs aggressively and trying to wave his feet in the air. He ended up shuffling very slowly to the side of the bed near Adrien where he rolled off the side, still holding his pillow. He looked up at Adrien with baleful eyes. “School can shove off for all I care,” Félix mumbled. 

Adrien laughed and nudged him in the side with his foot. “Like it or not, you have to get up. The chefs have made you breakfast.” He let the last tidbit dangle in the air knowing Félix would never turn down food. Just as he predicted, Félix’s eyes widened substantially and he silently got up and walked out with a satisfied Adrien following behind him. They walked together to the dining room where an eggs benedict and a smashed avocado on toast was waiting for them. Adrien was pretty sure he could see Félix drooling as he practically flew to the table. 

They ate breakfast at record speed and Félix was much more energetic after the excellent meal. Most of the time they were given homemade cereal, which Gabriel often said was healthier and had fewer carbohydrates, but it was always lovely when the cooks decided to give them something slightly more unhealthy to create, even if it was just eggs and smashed avocado. It was a waste of their skills to just make cereal, anyway. Sometimes they also snuck some fine dining into Adrien’s lunch when he had it at home (but so far Gabriel was completely unaware of this). It was fair to say Adrien and the cooks had an extremely excellent relationship, considering he wasn’t allowed in the kitchen. 

The boys arrived at school with little celebration; Marinette and the rest of th3 class were already inside. After breakfast, they’d spent a little too long stuffing themselves with candy from Félix’s bedroom, which meant they were both late and had stomach aches. Marinette was there to greet them inside, though. She, Alya and Nino were talking about a party of some sort when the boys came in. Félix lounged on his chair straightaway and Adrien took the one next to him at the desk in front of the others. 

“What’s going on?” Adrien asked. 

Nino turned to him excitedly. “Dude! Chloe’s throwing a party at the Grand Paris! She says everyone’s invited!”

“I bet I won’t be,” Marinette grumbled darkly. “She hates my guts, so she’d never invite me.”

“I’m sure we can find a way to convince her,” Félix winked mischievously.

Chloe walked in wearing a large blue feather boa with Sabrina following behind her carrying a folder. “Ahem,” she cleared her throat. The class was watching her anyway. Chloe Bourgeois was not one to have any nondramatic entrances. “I am hosting a gala at the Grand Paris for my fifteenth birthday, which you should all know by now. I expect every single one of you to turn up. Even you, Marinette,” she added. Sabrina opened her file and began handing out personalised invitations with fancy embossing and a red wax seal.

Marinette opened hers with an expression that was not akin to satisfaction. The letter read as follows:

_To all concerned,_

_Madame Chloe Bourgeois is holding a gala to commemorate her 15th birthday._

_You have been invited to this special evening event at the Grand Paris._

_Presents are mandatory (at least 1 per person). Food and drinks will be provided._

_The event will begin at 6:30 pm on Friday 26th. Appropriate attire is expected. You will need to bring your invitation to the event to be allowed in. We hope you attend this special night and enjoy the evening._

 

Félix didn’t feel much like going to this ‘gala’, so he sat down by himself next to Nathaniel and began reading _The Great Gatsby_ (he always carried a book around in case there was nothing to do and he was forced to make small talk). 

Alya raised her eyebrows after she’d finished reading the invitation. “Gala?” She questioned.

Chloe smirked. “Yes, it is a gala, which means that this,” she gestured to Nino’s admittedly casual outfit, “cannot happen. If you’re going to bother turning up, which you will because it’s going to be the biggest and best party of the year, you have to do it wearing decent clothes. That means tuxes and dresses,” she waggled a finger at Nino. “And definitely, under no circumstances, are there going to be headphones allowed. The guards will confiscate them, so don’t even bother.”

Nino raised his hands in protest. “I’m a teenager! Where am I supposed to get a tux?”

Chloe waved it off dismissively. “Don’t worry, you can get a rental or something. You can probably just borrow one from Adrien, I’m sure he’s got plenty.”

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, turning pink. “Yeah, I actually have a few, you can just borrow one.” Nino cackled, slapping the desk. Alya laughed with him. Adrien looked extremely embarrassed.

“He’s probably been to plenty of Chloe’s parties, you can’t blame him,” Marinette defended. Adrien smiled weakly.

Chloe glared at her. “Excuse you. My parties are always the best events to go to, right, Adrien?”

“Well, they do have pretty great food. There’s a huge buffet full of fine dining,” Adrien winked at Nino, who gave him finger guns. 

“I’m sure you can all talk about food and parties at lunch, children.” Mme Bustier walked in, giving them a firm look. “We’ve got a lesson to start, so sit down.” 

The others sat down regretfully (especially Nino, who wanted to know more about the buffet). Adrien had an idea and scribbled something down on a note, sliding it to Marinette from his desk. Nino didn’t see it, but he gathered the contents from Marinette’s reaction (a furious blush and a minute nod to Adrien, where he lit up at the nod and smiled at her). Félix noticed it too. Maybe he’d go to the party to wingman for Adrien. And for the food, he’d also overheard about the buffet. Buffets were his best friend. And food. And croissants, chocolate, soup, macaroons, anything with a decent sauce and also food. Did he mention food?

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marinette was bright red. Even she could tell her face looked like a cherry tomato. Alya was begging to read the note, but Marinette refused to tell her anything for fear she’d blow up in excitement. The note read: _Marinette, I was wondering if you’d like to go to the gala with me? Nino’s probably going to want to go with Alya and I don’t want to be by myself or with Chloe, but it would be really cool if I could go with you so that I’ve got an awesome friend to talk to. Chloe said the party’s great, but it’s only fun if you’re there with someone fun. Will you go with me?_ Marinette had nearly died right there. It had taken her a second to remember that Adrien actually wanted an answer, but of course she’d said yes. Alya kept on digging her elbow into Marinette’s ribs to find out what it was, but there was no way in hell Marinette would just show her during class. She’d squeal out loud and they’d both be in trouble.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh my god oh my god oh my _god _,” Alya was practically spitting with excitement. “This is the greatest, most fulfilling awesome day of my otherwise worthless puny life.”__

__“That’s probably a bit much,” Marinette dissented. “I mean, it’s not that big a deal.”_ _

__“NOT THAT BIG A DEAL?” Alya was being way too loud, even though they were in Marinette’s bedroom eating lunch. Her house was so close to the school that she and Alya were able to get freshly-baked goods for their lunch. Alya was always saying the food was divine and Marinette agreed with her. Her parents were awesome cooks._ _

__“He only wanted me to go with him so that he’d have someone to talk to!” Marinette was fighting a losing battle and they both knew it._ _

__“Girl, that boy is head over heels for you. Everyone in the school knows it except him,” Alya smirked._ _

__Marinette gasped. “Alya! You can’t just say things like that! Anyway, it’s not like it’s actually true. He said in the note that I was an awesome friend. Adrien friend zones me so much it’s almost a hobby. If he actually liked me, I’d know.”_ _

__“Girl, you’re blind. He likes you! Now you’re the one being oblivious,” Alya pointed out. “What was his excuse for asking you out again?”_ _

__Marinette slapped her arm. “He said he didn’t want to be by himself because he knew Nino would want to go with you. And it’s not a date,” she said pointedly._ _

__Alya giggled. “Yep, keep telling yourself that, Marinette, just keep telling yourself that.”_ _

__“Shut up,” Marinette giggled with her. Then she drew in a sharp breath. “Damn it! I have to make a dress! I can’t go to some fancy gala with Adrien without a decent dress!”_ _

__“Shh, Marinette, it’s okay, you make amazing dresses,” Alya tried to soothe her. “Deep breaths, girl, deep breaths.”_ _

__Marinette ran to her desk and grabbed her sketchbook, flipping through the pages wildly. “Nope. Not that one, it’d look terrible. That one’s a bad colour. Oh Alya, what if I have to do colour coordination with his tie?”_ _

__~~~~~~~~~~_ _

__As it turned out, Marinette was delighted to find she had an array of suitable dresses in her sketchbook. She’d asked Adrien about the colour coordination and he had assured her that he didn’t care about it and she could wear whatever she wanted to and he would be happy with it. She had decided to go with a flowing red dress that she had designed a few months prior, but hadn’t had the motivation to go through with._ _

__Adrien had offered to pay for the many bolts of fabric that she would need for the tulle, but she’d graciously refused and said that it was too much. The next day, however, she found several bolts of tulle waiting for her at the bakery behind the counter when she came home from school, with a little note that had a winky face on it. Her parents had pretended to know nothing, but she saw them laughing together when they thought she wasn’t looking._ _

__Marinette spent the entire week trying to capture the akuma so she would be able to work on the dress properly. She hadn’t heard a peep from Chat Noir, so she spent the time she had working alone at the Eiffel Tower, just in case he stopped by. She didn’t want to let Adrien know she knew his identity, so she left him alone and hoped he’d recover enough to come back to her. She missed Chat Noir._ _

__The akuma hadn’t destroyed anything or done anything to draw attention to itself, but it was leaving notes around Paris with little messages taunting Ladybug. She was getting frustrated by how easily it was hiding, but she’d constructed a map of where the notes had been left and when she looked at the big picture, it was a circle that converged at the same point. The Grand Paris. Marinette still didn’t understand what it meant, but she was doing a daily stakeout on her patrols at all the previous places where the notes had been left. Still nothing. She figured that until she found another note, she would have to wind down a bit and get more schoolwork done. And the dress, which Marinette had gotten most of the materials for. She decided that she would work on it just for a couple of days, see what happened with the akuma. It was worrying how the akumas had changed these days. They were more passive, staying infected longer and the aftereffects for the victims seemed to last longer as well. It was curious, but she couldn’t find any clues or reasoning behind the change. It was up to fate, and perhaps a little bit of luck._ _

__~~~~~~~~~~_ _

__

__“Adrien, just listen to me. You need to help Ladybug. She can’t keep doing it on her own, you’re her partner. Why aren’t you listening to me?!”_ _

__Adrien stared at the ceiling. “I don’t know if I can do Chat Noir anymore, Plagg. Ladybug’s been doing fine without me, she doesn’t need my help. I don’t know how to face her, anyway. What can I say to make her forgive me?”_ _

__Plagg growled at him. “For God’s sake, Adrien, grow up! Of course she’ll forgive you, she probably already has! You’re Chat Noir, you always will be inside. You and Ladybug are Yin and Yang, you know. If you stopped being Chat Noir, she’d stop being Ladybug.”_ _

__Adrien sat up, paying significantly more attention. “What are you talking about?”_ _

__“She’s only Ladybug if you’re Chat Noir. I guarantee you that if you quit, so will she. How would you like it if she upped and quit and you were forced to fight alongside a new Ladybug?”_ _

__Adrien had to admit, the all-knowing ageless god had a point. “Yeah. Maybe I should meet up with her. What do you think?”_ _

__“Adrien, as long as you don’t go and quit, it’s gonna be fine,” Plagg reassured him._ _

__“If you say so. Plagg, claws out!” Adrien called, transforming and making the entire room flash green for a moment. Chat Noir hopped out of the window not a second later, making his way onto the roof and setting his course for the Eiffel Tower._ _

__~~~~~~~~~~_ _

__

__“Nooroo, we need to figure out who’s behind it,” Gabriel said, pacing._ _

__“I’m sorry Master, I simply don’t know,” Nooroo mumbled. “I haven’t been able to sense any kwami activity besides the Ladybug and Chat Noir Miraculouses, I don’t know how they’ve been doing it.”_ _

__“What aren’t you telling me, Nooroo?!” Gabriel demanded._ _

__Nooroo trembled. “Th-there are other kwamis. We don’t call them kwamis, but technically they are. I-I don’t know much about them, but they aren’t like me and the other kwamis. Only the Guardian truly knows about them, but even their knowledge would be limited. They’re known as-as…”_ _

__“Yes? Pray, do tell me,” Gabriel’s voice dripped with sarcasm._ _

__“...they are demons of plague and disease. They are called the créatures des ténèbres, or the creatures of darkness,” Nooroo whispered with a shaky voice._ _

__“That’s more like it,” Gabriel said approvingly. “How are they demons?”_ _

__“They… aren’t like kwamis. The Ladybug and Chat Noir kwamis, Tikki and Plagg, represent light and dark. All the kwamis in possession of the Guardian, including me, are kwamis of light, used traditionally for good and noble things. We are the kwamis made from Tikki’s image and we only know how to do good things. The créatures des ténèbres are only used for destruction. They are created from Plagg’s essence of destruction and are imbued with evil; they do not know how to be good. I’ve never seen one personally, but there are many legends of the havoc and wickedness that they spread. If the akumas are the cause of one such creature, it’s not going to be easy to stop it.”_ _

__“I don’t care. That akuma has infected my son and it’s not going to get any better, which means I have to try and defeat this thing if I want to see him survive.”_ _

__~~~~~~~~~~_ _

__

__“Hello, Ladybug.” Chat Noir’s feet padded noiselessly on the landing of the Eiffel Tower to where Ladybug stood with her mouth hanging open._ _

__“I-I thought you weren’t coming back,” she said softly._ _

__“For a while, so did I,” Chat murmured, taking another step towards her._ _

__“So… why did you?”_ _

__“It was Plagg, really,” Chat said with a chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. The familiarity of the gesture made Ladybug’s chest hurt. “He forced me to see what was right in front of me.” He looked up at her softly._ _

__Ladybug blushed, ducking her head to hide her face. “Well, thank you. For coming back. I didn't really know what I was doing on my own.” She took a step towards him shyly, raising her head. Chat’s heart rate was skyrocketing._ _

__The sun had set while they were talking, and now the moon had risen to give the Eiffel Tower a pale blue glow. Chat thought Ladybug looked beautiful in the moonlight. He took another step closer. “I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier. I was a coward. I didn’t think I was good enough to be Chat Noir. I’d convinced myself you didn’t need me, thought that anybody could do a better job than me. I… I didn’t know how to talk to you, knowing that I’d hurt you.”_ _

__“Oh, Chaton,” Ladybug murmured. “That wasn’t you. You have done nothing wrong, I swear.” She caressed his cheek with the tips of her fingers, looking up at him gently. “You are innocent, Chaton. You don’t need to keep beating yourself up about this.” She leaned forward and pulled him into a hug. Chat Noir was frozen for a second in shock before relaxing and hugging her back. They stood there for what felt like hours before pulling back slowly, peeling themselves off each other. Ladybug clasped his hand and squeezed it, smiling at him. “It’s okay, Chat. I forgive you.”_ _

__“Thank you, m’lady.” Chat’s voice was low and husky. Ladybug was half-grateful he couldn’t really see her face, because the depth of his voice made a lovely shiver run down her spine. “I’ve gotta go now, it’s late.” His voice was now regretful as he stepped back, giving her one last, longing look before he vanished._ _

__Ladybug stepped dazedly off the Tower, snapping back to reality when the gale assured her that being lovesick wasn’t going to prevent her from turning into polka-dotted mush when she hit the ground. She shook her head and swung her yo-yo forward, savouring the cold, fresh air and the rush from her streamlined suit flying through the sky. She swung across empty streets and ran from rooftop to rooftop with the wind in her hair, swooping across the sky and somersaulting onto her balcony, slipping through the trapdoor quietly. Marinette detransformed without festivity and climbed up to her bed, flopping on the mattress and exhaling, thinking about Chat Noir._ _

__“Hey Tikki?” She asked serenely._ _

__Tikki had floated to her own bed after Marinette had detransformed; she lifted her head up from her miniscule pillow. “Yes, Marinette?”_ _

__“I… I think I might like Chat Noir,” Marinette murmured._ _

__Tikki hummed contentedly. “That’s okay, Marinette. You have to figure out how you want to go from here, though, with Adrien. You can’t date him as both identities, or date both his identities. You have to be careful not to hurt his feelings.”_ _

__“Don’t be silly, Tikki,” Marinette laughed without humour in her voice. “Adrien doesn’t like me as more than a friend. I mean, how many times has he already friend zoned me? He couldn’t like clumsy old Marinette, even if he does like Ladybug. I can’t reveal myself to him, but I don’t know whether I should tell him either, or what my feelings are for him. I still can’t see Adrien and Chat Noir as the same person. Sometimes I wish I could just forget,” she whispered shakily. She heard a soft breathing sound and realised that Tikki was asleep. Marinette had a very small smile on her face when she listened to her sleeping kwami, but she was still very troubled about Chat Noir. And Adrien. They didn’t seem like the same person to her, even though she knew they were supposed to be. She didn’t know what to do._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so idk but i think this may be the longest chapter yet whoopee
> 
> * that one pov with the unknown person is the akuma btw and she shall be revealed next chapter - the gala will also happen too  
> * a bit of alya & lb in this chapter (i didn't really interpret it as romantic but if you like alyanette go ahead)  
> * adrien's pov is basically about the aftereffects of superhero akumatisation and how chat noir, who's duty is protecting paris, is faced with himself destroying paris. i don't know if i did a good job writing that bit so please let me know :)  
> * i've also got a bit of adrienette and i know that it might seem farfetched but adrien's in the process of realizing he like mari as more than a friend and he's trying to understand what his feelings are so he's using the gala as an excuse to get to know her more to figure out how he feels about her  
> * i've based the red dress off a fanart drawing of cinderella mari that i saw on tumblr and it's by grey-the-goose-art and it's amazing so go check that out (https://grey-the-goose-art.tumblr.com/post/159062869940/as-per-request-miraculous-ladybug-cinderella)  
> * as you might have figured out earlier, gabriel's not the one behind the akuma attacks *conspiracy theory time*  
> * and a sprinkle of ladynoir to top it off. should i put a ladynoir kiss in the next chapter? to kiss or not to kiss, that is the question (but srsly let me know)
> 
> edit: there was some serious problem with italics and ao3 has been really weird i'm so sorry - also, i made a mistake with the notes from the akuma, i thought i'd written grand paris lol


	13. Chloe Bourgeois Does Not Like Beige

The day was quiet and calm as a steaming hot cup of tea. Birds dove around the local park, twittering. Butterflies lazily wandered between pastel-coloured tulips that warmed the hearts of small children. Many people were gazing at the Seine with a strong desire to jump in and swim due to the marvellous weather and the hot sun that French people so rarely received. There was a delicious scent coming out of the Dupain-Cheng’s window that made passer-bys smile in delight and take a long, deep sniff. Alya was writing furiously at her house, having captured a photo of Ladybug and Chat Noir on the Eiffel Tower near midnight, thrilled at the chance for a good scoop. Nino was with her and her mother, sampling some of the food from Mme Cesaire’s menu at a large and expensive gathering they were catering for soon. Even Gabriel was as close to happy as he could be; having finished the designs for a new seasonal line to find a hot coffee waiting for him, he had taken a leisurely stroll along the streets and had purchased a rather lovely set of macaroons from a nearby bakery. He wouldn’t, of course, ever tell any living soul ever, but they had simply smelled divine, so he’d ended up buying a rather large box of them, being thankful that he’d changed clothes and brought sunglasses so nobody would recognise him, because he would honestly die of mortification. He didn’t regret stuffing himself with macaroons at a nearby park, though. Natalie had seen him while she was buying groceries and had to hide behind a shop where she could laugh her head off in private. In short, everybody in Paris was having a lovely day. 

Meanwhile, Chloe Bourgeois was fuming. “What are you telling me, Jean-Paul?!” She practically screeched. “I can’t have a successful gala if the napkins are _beige_! Beige! Of all the disasters to strike, I couldn’t have imagined anything as god-awful at this!”

“Mademoiselle Chloe, please, the napkins can be changed…” Jean-Luc’s voice was drowned out by Chloe clutching at her pristine, picture-perfect her and wailing like a dying woman. Around them, the Grand Paris was full of workers on ladders trying to put up golden fairy lights without being distracted by any madwomen. 

“And the stupid assistant that I keep forgetting to fire still hasn’t told the catering company about the list of allergies!” Chloe’s rage was an unstoppable force, and there wasn’t much Jean-Luc could do to calm her down. “And I haven’t even had time to find a dress yet! A dress! It’s a gala, I can’t just turn up without a dress! What do I do?!”

Jean-Luc had a sudden idea. “Mademoiselle, perhaps you could get some retail therapy?” 

For once, his suggestions didn’t slide by Chloe completely. “Yes! That’s it! I’ll get Sabrina and go on a shopping spree! That’s actually not an entirely bad idea, Jean-Michele!” 

Jean-Luc smiled and watched as Chloe ran out of the building. She stopped suddenly, turning around. “Also, Jean-Luc, I need you to change the napkin colours to sky blue, okay? Bye!” 

~~~~~~~~~~

Several hours later, a Mademoiselle Bourgeois strutted out of the department store with Sabrina in tow, who was holding numerous bags. She was almost toppling under the weight of the bags so Chloe decided to be generous and had offered to take one of the heavier ones. Sabrina nearly cried in gratitude, but Chloe felt a little bit more warm inside. Then she decided it was probably sunstroke. Sabrina was still a lot more chirpy the rest of the day, and Chloe’s nerves had been soothed considerably. She was still frazzled about the napkins, though. Beige was one of the worst colours in existence, next to khaki, and that simply wouldn’t do. She rang up Jean-Luc on her phone just to make sure he’d changed it to the right colour. 

 

“Jean-Michele?” Chloe asked. 

“Oui, Mademoiselle Chloe, I am here,” Jean-Luc replied. 

“Have the napkins been changed?” Chloe asked, slightly haughtily. 

“Oui, Mademoiselle, they have been changed to sky blue, and the decor company has given you a refund,” Jean-Luc declared. “They were extremely apologetic for distressing the lovely Mademoiselle and also gave us sky blue drapes, free of charge.”

“Hmm,” Chloe murmured in satisfaction. “They would look nice with the gold theme, I suppose.”

“Pleasure to serve, Mademoiselle Chloe,” Jean-Luc said.

“Alright, you can have a rest now, well done.” Chloe half-heard the ‘Thank you, Mademoiselle!’ before she lowered the phone from her ear and hung up. 

She turned around to find Sabrina’s face pressed to a shop window, staring at something. “What are you doi-” She stopped talking and stared with her when she realised what Sabrina was looking at. She’d dropped the bags near her, and so did Chloe, to raise her hands to touch the glass of the display window at the most wonderful, perfect dress Chloe had ever seen. 

It was floor length, sleeveless, with a high collar and the most gorgeous yellow satin she’d ever seen. It had tiny yellow flowers decorating the waistline to the bottom of the dress, accumulating from four or five at the top to a countless amount at the bottom. It pooled a little at the end but not too much, a bit like a bridesmaid. Chloe thought she’d looked perfect in it. So did Sabrina, who gave a little squeal. “Oh, it’s perfect for you, Chloe!” She exclaimed. 

“Yes, I think it will be,” Chloe grinned. She had found a dress. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~

“So, the game plan is to arrive early, wait for her to show, and ambush her,” Ladybug explained. Chat Noir nodded, listening intently. Ladybug pointed to various areas on the detective board she had somehow brought to the abandoned warehouse they were in. He had no idea how she’d managed to be so subtle, but she had texted him with a time and address and hadn’t waited for a second after he got there to begin explaining the akuma situation. She’d even found little red pins connected by string to illustrate the locations of the notes and theories on who the akumatized person was, why they had been akumatised and where the akuma itself was hiding. Ladybug had already filled up the board with ideas and theories, but she was going over the plan one more time just so he knew it off by heart. At this point, he could practically recite it anyway, but she insisted on going through it again for the sake of efficiency. 

“I received this note,” She waved said note around with a flourish. “A warning note, saying that I would have to give her my Miraculous sooner or later, and then she’d hunt you down and get yours too. We already know that it’s at the Grand Paris, and I realised last night that she means to use Chloe Bourgeois’ party on Friday to get the Miraculouses from us. I think she may be planning to hold them hostage, but I don’t know for sure so I haven’t told Chloe herself- oh my god are you _kidding me_?” Ladybug stopped talking and gaped at something behind him. Chat turned to look at whatever it was, finding a large bee-shaped spotlight in the sky. Speak of the devil, and she shall appear. 

Chloe Bourgeois met the hot glares of two angry superheroes when she turned around after hearing a small thump on her huge balcony (it was Ladybug, Chat Noir was way more stealthy). Ladybug had her arms folded and Chat looked merely annoyed that Chloe had managed to ruin the precious little time he had with his Lady. Chloe, however, was completely oblivious. “Ladybug!” She squealed happily, running to the girl and throwing her arms around her. “It’s been too long!” 

Ladybug and Chat Noir were of the same mind: it had not been too long at all. Chloe didn’t notice, or particularly care. “I wanted to invite you to my gala!” She exclaimed. “Of course you already know, but it’s my fifteenth birthday in a few days and I want you to come to my party!”

Ladybug considered how to let her down gently. Chat Noir raised a single eyebrow dubiously, pondering a wild idea. 

“Look, Chloe, I’m really sorry,” Ladybug began, “but-”

“We’ll be able to make it just fine!” Chat Noir cut in. “Thank you so much for inviting us!”

Ladybug sent Chat a warning glare. “What have you _done_ ,” she hissed dangerously, eyeing him like a hawk. 

Chat gulped. “I’ll explain later?” He squeaked nervously. 

Chloe beamed and hugged Ladybug and Chat Noir at the same time. Ladybug glared at him over the top of her head. Chat Noir looked pretty terrified, and then his face went red because Chloe was squeezing them so tightly. “Can’t… breathe,” he rasped. 

Chloe let go and grinned. “I’ll have the invitations left for you at the top of the Eiffel Tower! Can’t want to see you there!” And with a wink, she began to walk away. 

“Wait!” Chat Noir stopped her. “How are you going to get invitations to the top of the Eiffel Tower?” He asked in confusion. 

“I’ll just borrow Daddy’s helicopter, you know,” Chloe shrugged for lack of concern and walked away. Ladybug wondered how often she just ‘borrowed’ the helicopter to have that kind of nonchalance. 

Ladybug watched warily as Chloe walked inside the penthouse, giving them one more excited wave before closing the door. She turned to Chat Noir with her hands on her hips. “What the hell was that for?!” She cried. “We’re supposed to be doing a stakeout at the gala at the same time, we can’t be there as guests!”

Chat Noir shushed her. “No, it’s okay. If we’re there as guests, we can tell her that we have superhero duties and we need to stake the place out and do surveillance and she’ll let us do whatever we want.”

“Really, Chat? Really?” Ladybug’s voice was flat as a current sense of humour. “It’s Chloe bloody Bourgeois, she’d let us do anything we wanted because she loves superheroes. It wouldn’t exactly be difficult to just ask her if we can stay there to wait for the akuma to attack.”

Chat’s face fell a bit. “But she’d be scared if she knew an akuma was coming to the gala, not to mention extremely pissed off. You ever seen an angry Chloe Bourgeois?” He joked. Ladybug did not smile. 

“We’d still be able to go wherever we wanted, though,” she persisted.

“Yeah, but now we have an excuse to go there without actually telling her that there might be an akuma and freaking her out,” Chat reasoned. 

Ladybug crossed her arms. “Alright, I guess you may have a minor point,” she conceded. 

Chat smiled at her. “Thank you. But do you think we could take a raincheck on recapping the akuma plan again until tomorrow night? I’m really tired, and it’s late.” Ladybug nodded, lifting a hand in farewell and swinging away. Chat Noir gazed as she raced across the city. Maybe he wouldn’t have given up being Chat Noir. Some things were far too precious to be sacrificed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit short, oof. i'm still recovering from doing 30k in april so the updates will probably be a bit shorter until june, when i'm doing the whole thing again lol  
> * tbh this is more of a filler chapter before the plot so sorry about that but on the upside you guys can have more chloe action and ladynoir!  
> * i think i said in the last chapter that the gala was going to be this chapter. that was a complete lie. i might as well just go into politics cos i did not do the gala at all but it WILL be next chapter. i may not be good at actually getting stuff done, but i swear that y'all will get ur gala next chapter  
> * i know chloe's butler's name probably isn't jean-luc (it might just be jean, idk) but i'm going to call him jean-luc in this story 'cause to me he feels like a jean-luc, y'know what i mean?  
> * thanks for reading, please like & comment :)


	14. The Gala: Part 1

Everything was in place. The drapes had been put up in robin’s egg blue, the napkins had been arranged in rose folds on the dining tables and the constructors had put up golden streamers on the ceiling and lining the walls. Men and women were marching around under the strict, focused eye of one Chloe Bourgeois who still hadn’t done her makeup. She’d hired an assistant to run everything smoothly when she was getting dressed and an assistant to help the assistant, but it was five hours till the party began and she was getting a little keyed up. Jean-Luc was interpreting all her unintelligible stressed-out gurgles and translating it on her behalf for the many people who had no idea what language she was speaking (Jean-Luc referred to it as the language of stress sometimes, and Chloe agreed that it was quite suitable). There were rows of long tables set out in the hotel dining room, with the napkins and all, that had been tailored to the blue and gold theme. Even the plates had been painted blue and gold, alternating between each dish. The caterers were working very hard in the kitchen on something that smelled deliciously fragrant, and Nino had snuck in to help them (and grab a few bites for himself). Alya’s mother was the head chef and could be heard yelling from the ballroom. Her voice was extremely well-projected. There were several make-up artists and hair stylists waiting in Chloe’s bedroom with her outfit and a glittering array of accessories (as well as an excited Sabrina with a camera for when they were done), but Chloe was getting antsy not being able to go up and get ready. 

“Marcel, I need you to take care of the juniors who are in charge of the cutlery,” Jean-Luc directed under Chloe’s close supervision. “Mademoiselle, you do not have to stay down here and take care of all these people, your assistants and I can do it for you.”

“I need to make sure everything is perfect,” Chloe croaked weakly. Her throat felt like sandpaper from shouting, and her voice was completely hoarse. 

Jean-Luc’s brows furrowed. “Mademoiselle, I insist,” he said firmly. “You must go upstairs and look after yourself if you wish to host the party in full spirits.” 

Chloe sneezed pathetically, rubbing a pink nose. “Maybe I should go up and wind down a bit. Are you quite sure you’re able to take care of everything? It all needs to be perfect.”

“It will be, Mademoiselle, it will be. I will make sure of it,” Jean-Luc said determinedly. Chloe shuffled off and asked what someone was doing, mumbling a “You’re fired,” under her breath when they looked flusteredly at her. Jean-Luc mouthed the words _she’s just stressed_ behind her shoulder as she plodded off. The worker looked almost as much of a wreck as Chloe felt.

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Chloe was embraced by Sabrina as she trudged into the room, falling down on her bed before being gently led by Sabrina to a bathroom that was covered in flickering purple candles that smelled like lavender. Steam rolled off the bath and smothered the room in fog as Sabrina quietly shut the door behind her, leaving Chloe to slip out of her clothes and into the bath in bliss, her muscles relaxing and her legs sinking into the warm caress of the water. She closed her eyes in complete content and stayed submerged like that for a solid half hour before she was ready to even think about getting out. When she finally did, Chloe wrapped a crisp white dressing gown around herself and put on her fluffy pink slippers before sitting in the waiting makeup chair where the hair stylists and make-up artists were waiting to get to work. Her beautiful yellow dress lay on her bed like a rose waiting to be picked. Chloe imprinted the image of it in her mind before closing her eyes as the people around her got to work to make her a picture-perfect belle of the ball. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette worked furiously on the finishing touches of her dress. Tikki floated above her warily. “Are you sure that you’ll even be able to wear it? You and Chat Noir have to be there together so that when the akuma gets there, you’ll be ready!”

‘I know,” Marinette sighed. “But Adrien’s going to be there! At least if Chat and I capture the akuma before the end of the night, I’ll be able to rush home and get changed so I can see him!”

“Maybe I can find another way for you to get changed…” Tikki trailed off, a light in her eyes that Marinette recognised as the one she got whenever she had a brilliant idea. “What if… I changed your costume?”

“To what?” Marinette retorted. “I’m a superhero, I have to be as practical as possible.”

“Yes, but you have to go to a gala, for kwami’s sake, and Chloe already knows you’re going, it’s not like she’ll just let you turn up in that,” Tikki gestured to Marinette’s casual everyday outfit. 

Marinette pursed her lips. “I’m not even going to be wearing this, Tikki.” She shrugged, waving off the difference. “What’s wrong with this anyway?” Marinette questioned. 

Tikki wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Marinette, you know I love you, but sometimes you have no common sense. This,” she flew up to Marinette’s pale pink pant and tugged on it, “is not something you wear to a gala!”

“Hey!” Marinette cried, pretending to be hurt. “I’ll have you know these cuffs are made of silk.”

“Silk, schmilk,” Tikki said. “You cannot wear jeans and a t-shirt to a gala, Marinette, and that’s final.” She crossed her arms in a tiny adorable act of defiance. Marinette savoured the image. 

 

“What am I supposed to do then? I can’t just come up with a new Ladybug ball gown design on the spot,” Marinette huffed. “Designs don’t grow on trees, you know,” she reasoned. 

Tikki grinned. “And that’s why you have me,” she puffed up her chest. “Behold, the kwami of good luck. I have the power of creation and light on my side, and if someone were to, oh, I don’t know, perhaps create a magical Ladybug costume design in five minutes through sheer good luck - let’s say I wouldn’t exactly be opposed to the idea.”

“Are you even allowed to do that?” Marinette exclaimed. 

Tikki clapped her microscopic palms together in the same way that a Spanish person might click maracas, which created a flash of red light and a shower of little ladybugs that swarmed around the new object on the table, flew up to Tikki and poofed into thin air in a shower of glitter that fell to Marinette’s feet. She tutted as it went into the carpet. “That’s not going to clean itself, you know.”

“Oh, lighten up, look at the design!” Tikki zoomed to the table, where a slightly pink piece of paper held an image of Ladybug, but it wasn’t anything that Marinette could ever have hoped to create if she’d had to do it by hand. They Ladybug in the image had her hair curled up into a wedding-esque hairstyle; her dark hair was woven into and layered in curls in a bun on her head with a silver feather band holding the bun up. A single curly strand fell from Ladybug’s forehead, framing her face perfectly. The dress, however, was something else.  
It had a sweetheart neckline, long, dark red sleeves just leaving her shoulders bare. It appeared to be made of velvet; long swathes of the red material swishing around her legs. Streaks of shiny black streaked around her bodice and her waist, cascading down the dress. A thick dark red sash defined her curves in a way that Marinette had never even tried to do before. She knew she was a blossoming teenager or whatever it was that her mother had told her, but the dress looked practically sinful. She thought Chat Noir would probably drool. The image made her blush, as did the last garment. A diamond pendant sat on the neck of the Ladybug in the picture, carved intricately like snowflakes. But what really put the cherry on the cake was the diamond that rested in the centre. It was blood-red, a similar colour to her dress, but it looked absolutely amazing. Marinette didn’t even know that she was gaping; holding the paper in her hands, staring wordlessly at it. 

When she found the words, they were not what a smug Tikki was expecting. “I can’t wear this!” Marinette exclaimed. 

Tikki’s forehead creased and she frowned. “Is it that bad? I thought it was nice,” she sniffed. 

“No, no, it’s amazing, but I can’t- I can’t _wear_ it!” Marinette spluttered. 

“Why not?” Tikki asked. 

“I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng! I’m terrible at socialising, I’ve only ever been to three sleepovers and two of them were at Alya’s, I have never been to a party and I can’t wear this!”

“Marinette,” Tikki said softly, flying up to her eye level, “You’re also a superhero who saves Paris every other day with your suave cat partner in a skintight leather suit against an evil butterfly villain who literally calls himself Hawkmoth. You’ve handled way crazier things.”

“Wh-wha- he is not suave!” Marinette cried. “Nor is his suit skintight! Actually, on second thoughts it might be, but he is definitely not suave!”

“That was the only bit you got?” Tikki sassed, tiny kwami hands on her tiny kwami hips. Marinette wondered if she had hips. 

“Maybe I can go to a party,” she mumbled. 

Tikki grinned. “Now there’s the bubbly, confident Marinette I know and love!” Marinette looked at her dryly and raised her eyebrows. Tikki hummed and flew off. “Tell me when you’re ready to transform!” 

Marinette grumbled, still staring at the dress. _How the hell am I supposed to fight an akuma in this,_ she wondered. _I don’t even know where the shoes are_. 

~~~~~~~

Adrien stared at the photo. It was from a few months ago when Nino had suggested they all go out for ice cream at Andre’s and Alya and Marinette had enthusiastically agreed. They spent the whole afternoon running around Paris and laughing their heads off, having an awesome time. Alya and Nino had kept giggling to themselves after getting ice creams that looked like each other and Marinette had been practically glowing at her mint and banana one. Adrien himself had been giddy with a strawberry and blueberry combo that reminded him so much of Ladybug; even Marinette had been looking at it quite a bit. Alya and Nino had been called out for PDA when they weren’t looking and had dared Adrien to kiss Marinette on the cheek if he was apparently so afraid of love. Of course, that wouldn’t do, so he had given Marinette a gentle peck and apologised after her face turned the colour of beetroot. Adrien thought he saw Alya wink at her. Marinette had stuttered out a ‘no thank you’ and fallen over and fainted; then Adrien had panicked and picked her up bridal style and ran to the hospital on foot. He’d like to say that Marinette was light, but alas, despite her not-so-immense size Marinette had been surprisingly buff, and she had woken up while he was still running and punched him in the face out of shock. Adrien’s face hurt for two weeks after that, and she had apologised profusely every day since. He still had a bit of a lump (his father had thrown a fit when he had seen it but Adrien told him that he had just walked into a tree. Gabriel had tightened his diet for the next week and Marinette snuck him pastries on the way home from school to fatten him up). Needless to say, it was a fond memory. 

Plagg buzzed about his head holding yet another corner of Camembert. “You know, I think you humans have really managed to achieve something worthwhile,” he said with his mouth full, waving the offensive-smelling article around with his spare hand as he used the other to rip pieces off and stuff them into his mouth. 

Adrien groaned as the smell wafted towards his nose. “Get that away from me!” he said, flapping his hand to shoo away the god of destruction and his horrible appetite. Man, his life was really going downhill. 

“Oh, Adrien, I pity you. You have five senses and yet none of them have been used to detect the divine scent of this beauty,” Plagg began to rub the Camembert all over his body and purr. It was the fourth-weirdest thing Adrien had ever seen. “I suppose me being able to love this properly is because of my nine senses, but I still don’t understand why you can’t see what’s right in front of you.”

“Marinette’s just a friend, how many times have I told y-” Adrien stopped. And turned. And came face to face with the most unbelievably smug cat he’d ever seen. 

“I never said anything about Marinette,” Plagg said in a sing-song voice. “But oh, please do tell.”

“Why _you little_ -!” He grabbed Plagg out of the air and ripped the Camembert away from him. Plagg immediately phased out of his hand and made a lunge for the foul cheese, biting Adrien’s thumb somewhere in the process. Adrien whipped his hand away with a look of incredulity. “You- you bit my thumb!”

“...Yes, Sherlock?” Plagg said innocently. 

Adrien frowned. “But you don’t even have teeth!”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t bite,” Plagg snarked, sticking two tiny fangs out that would probably only be sharp enough to make a dent in a particularly soft piece of Camembert, puffing his fur up and pretending to hiss. Adrien thought he looked like a stress ball. He went to poke Plagg and the god deflated like a fluffy balloon. The effect was only made more comical because he flew around and stuck his tongue out as he whizzed. He landed in Adrien’s palm, taking another innocent munch of Camembert. Adrien’s face scrunched up as he tried to figure out how Plagg had managed to wiggle out the cheese from right under his nose. And now that he was thinking it, Adrien was grateful he had. 

Plagg had continued the disgraceful act of rubbing himself all over with cheese and Adrien had to grab a nearby peg to plug his nose with (the frequency with which he resorted to this was not lost on him, and he hated Plagg for it). Adrien ignored his evil kwami and picked up the photo again, gazing at his friends. Plagg drifted over to sit on his shoulder so that Adrien could hear every excruciatingly chewy sound he was making as well. He considered ripping his ears off so he couldn’t smell or hear the camembert. “So,” the kwami drawled. “What’s gotten you all wound up about Princess?” 

Adrien couldn’t be bothered to swat at him, knowing he’d just come straight back like an annoying stray cat. Which, technically he was. But Adrien had never known a cat with such a taste for cheese. As far as he knew, they were supposed to be lactose intolerant. Plagg interrupted his thoughts with another loud squelch from the cheese. He was practically snogging the thing. Adrien couldn’t bring himself to look. 

“Félix basically showed me how I’d been a bad friend to Marinette when Lila came back,” Adrien said, putting the photo down and rubbing his neck. “Then I realised that I haven’t been appreciating her enough as a friend. I used to think she didn’t like me because of the whole gum incident but now I think she’s just really shy and she’s always so nice to me but I’ve kind of ignored her, I guess? I just wanted to go to the party with her because she’s always so nice to me and I’ve realised that I barely know her as a person. I’ve only ever hung out with her when we’re with Alya and Nino, save for a couple of times that were impromptu like that time at the cinema when we watched the film that had Maman in it,” Adrien smiled. “I know she lives in a bakery and she’s one of the most popular girls in school and she’s always as nice as possible because it’s just her nature, but I’ve never spent any time trying to actually get to know her.”

Plagg wasn’t listening, but it made Adrien feel better to think he was. He could still hear a faint sound every now and then that sounded like Shrek. 

“Adrien, have you ever considered the possibility that you could like her and you’re just wildly blinded by your feelings for Ladybug?” Plagg’s sarcastic tone indicated that it wasn’t a question so much as an observation. 

“Hey!” Adrien felt mildly insulted. “I’d know if I liked a girl, I’m not _that_ oblivious.”

“You’d be surprised,” Plagg muttered, dodging the pen Adrien chucked at him. 

~~~~~~~~~~ [at lunchtime]

Félix hated studying. It was the most banal task he had ever happened upon, but it was a necessary evil. Natalie was probably doing some boring chore for his uncle that involved yelling at people, and Gabriel was probably yelling at her for not doing enough yelling at the people. He was studying economics at that moment, examining the specifics of the Wall Street Crash versus current inflation of house prices. It might have been fascinating if he was a sixty-year-old man who looked at the weather section in the newspaper every day, but to his great delight, he was not. He got up, leaving his boring study work behind and opting to go to Adrien’s room to steal some sweets (they weren’t really being stolen, Adrien had taken them all from him so they were rightfully his). 

Félix wandered into Adrien’s room and the first thing he saw was a rock climbing wall and a zip line. He wondered how much time (or lack thereof) Gabriel had spent with his son for him to have to buy a zip line and a rock climbing wall to keep him happy. Also how his logic worked to have decided to put both in one child’s bedroom. Despite this, Félix still leapt at the chance to use both of the rare amenities. He knew Adrien was out having a fencing lesson or something and it was lunchtime so he’d be able to stay at home for a while before going back to school. Gabriel had allowed him to stay at home longer than the lunch hour lasted due to his lack of desire to re-educate himself with things he had already learned, which Félix was extremely glad about. It meant he was able to stay an extra hour than he was supposed to and the teachers weren’t able to say anything about it because Gabriel had signed some form (also, he could quote most of Macbeth on the spot and would do it if anyone dared him to). 

Because of this, Félix had decided the next however-many minutes were now going to be filled with doing stupid things that only an idiot would do under the most boring of circumstances. _Here we go_. 

He began the climb up the wall first; putting on a nearby helmet and reaching up for the first hold, grabbing a few more to lift himself up only to lose his balance and promptly fall off. It must be said that Félix had never done any form of rock climbing and his methods weren’t exactly those of a professional sporty person who knew what they were doing. Hell, the only sport he’d ever played in his life was fencing, and even then he didn’t really like it (although he had a large amount of skill in the subject). In a bout of wisdom, he decided to forgo the rock climbing and try to zipline instead. Félix thought about how much practice Adrien would have gotten from doing heaps of this weird stuff and decided to ask him for tips later. Until then, he figured he would just accumulate several bruises and bumps in the spirit of trying. He put his harness on with vigour and hooked himself to the line that spanned the entirety of Adrien’s room and then some. Adrien had a sort of attic within his bedroom where the zip line began that meant it was several metres longer; it also meant that Félix had to climb a ladder to get to the landing where the zip line began. It wasn’t very long in zip line terms, but then again, it was in a child’s bedroom in a mansion in France. Not exactly your average zip line. 

Once he was all ready to go, Félix took a deep breath and collected his wits to mentally prepare himself to leap off the landing. He took two steps forward and was about to run and jump off the edge when a little floating black blob flew in front of him. Suffice to say, an ear-splitting scream could be heard throughout Paris. 

“What the hell are you?!” Félix demanded. 

“I’m an anthropomorphic god of destruction, but my friends call me Plagg,” Plagg bowed. 

Félix gaped. Shutting his mouth, he came to his senses and unlatched his harness from the zip line so he wouldn’t accidentally leap off because he was hallucinating a floating blob that looked decidedly cat-like. 

“I have never hallucinated before, so you’ll have to forgive me, this is a new experience.” Even in the face of a floating blob, Félix was nothing if not polite (debatable). 

“Nah, I’m the real deal, right here, all my bootylicious bod,” Plagg drawled and stuck out his butt(?) in a pose. 

Félix was seriously worried about his mental health. “Uh huh, you’re definitely whatever you’re saying you are, and all the studying clearly got to my head…” He climbed back down the ladder and out of Adrien’s room, Plagg the ‘not-hallucination’ following him eagerly. 

“I once destroyed the Eiffel Tower and half of Paris by touching it, you know,” Plagg bragged. Félix nodded, hurrying into the bathroom and rummaging around the medicine cabinet for any pill that would stop hallucinations. Plagg frowed. “I am real, you know. Do you know who Chat Noir is? He’s basically my kid, but I thought you knew that already?”

Félix stopped emptying the cabinet and whipped his head around to scrutinise Plagg. “Are… are you something to do with Adrien being Chat Noir?”

Plagg clapped. “Ding ding ding, folks, we have a winner!” He exclaimed. “Yeah, that’s me. Plagg, god of destruction, kwami, lover of cheese, worshipped by all - especially the Egyptians - but I’d like you, my new friend, to just call me ‘Thy Holiest Majesty’, even if that is a bit informal.”

“What’s a kwami?” Félix interrupted. 

Plagg rubbed his hands together, cleared his throat, and began. “A kwami is a magical deity who is the root of a particular aspect of the world. Every kwami has a Miraculous and when their Chosen says the right phrase, they transform into a superhero with superhuman abilities.”

Félix was still only half convinced. “And why should I believe you?”

“Because I’m a floating cat god who can destroy all of France if it so pleases me,” Plagg retorted. 

“Mhmm,” Félix mumbled, swallowing a couple of Panadol. Plagg sniffed derisively at him. 

“How did you figure out that Adrien is Chat Noir?”

“Does Adrien use his rock climbing wall to practice superhero stuff?” Félix countered. 

“All the time,” Plagg snickered. 

“He was akumatized and I used the power of basic logic, which apparently everyone else has not done. He and Chat Noir look identical and act the same,” Félix pointed out. 

Plagg nodded. “Literally nobody has ever thought of how they have the same facial features, build, voice, weird tastes in anime, it’s ridiculous. He’s going to that Chloe girl’s party tonight with Ladybug to capture the akuma that’s on the loose.” 

“I was going to go to that with Marinette and the others and be wingman,” Félix commented disappointedly. 

“Marinette’s Ladybug, she won’t be there for you to wingman,” Plagg said. 

“Hold on, Marinette’s Ladybug?!” Félix shouted. 

“Oh. Whoopsa-daisy,” Plagg said, sounding completely unconcerned. “You would’ve found out anyway, though, if you found out about Chat Noir. They’re both bad at hiding their identities. Serves Fu right for picking a couple of teenagers to save France, they haven’t even sat their college exams.” 

Félix didn’t want to know who Fu was, he was more concerned about leaving Marinette and Adrien to ‘save France’ as Plagg so eloquently put it. “Guess I’ll have to go to this party thing anyway, then,” he shrugged. 

Plagg grinned. “Good choice, kiddo! I knew we were gonna get along! Now, do you have any Camembert?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * I love plagg so much he has so much sassy potential  
> * I don't know if this counts as part of the actual gala but I kept writing so much about the stuff before it and then I was like 'damnit I'm going to split it up into parts' so voila  
> * Marinette's outfit as ladybug is inspired from a super cool dress that I saw on google images: https://www.dhgate.com/product/2019-gorgeous-evening-dresses-off-shoulder/440610612.html  
> * next chapter I might have Kagami's pov (depending on how much I procrastinate)  
> * also next chapter, the gala will actually happen and it's going to be split into three or four parts, idk how many yet. I sincerely apologise for taking this long to actually do it by hey, at least it means there's more content for you guys to read XD  
> * should I include a bit of chloe x sabrina? I think chlogami will be endgame but maybe there should be a bit of fluff along the way  
> * speaking of which, endgame - awesome movie, 10/10, go watch it. I sobbed  
> * and that's all for now! thanks for reading, please kudos & comment!


	15. The Gala: Part 2

Ladybug tugged at her dress with nervousness and a hint of embarrassment. Chat Noir was hiding in one of the wings on the other side of the mezzanine floor; he still hadn’t seen what she was wearing. Tikki had managed to keep her costume in its regular form for a few minutes while she had forgone her homework and whisked off to the Grand Paris. After a quiet word with the excited Mademoiselle Bourgeois herself, she and Chat Noir had managed to arrange rooms beforehand that they would use to wait for the akuma and had agreed that it wasn’t necessary to meet each other beforehand because they already knew the plan like the backs of their hands. The separate rooms would just mean they would be able to come at the akuma from different angles and have more advantage over it. Chloe had barely managed not to shriek when she realised an akuma was going to crash her birthday party, but Ladybug has covered her mouth with one glove-covered hand and reassured her that it would be alright and they would fix any damage the akuma caused and stay for the afterparty, which had caused Chloe to sigh in relief and quieted down (Ladybug had found she had dark red spotted gloves reaching three quarters up her arms, which Tikki had cheekily neglected to mention). She could faintly hear the operatic section warming up downstairs, while the 90-person symphony orchestra was single-handedly running the sandwich shop down the road out of stock. 

The sun was setting outside and casting an orange glow on the huge crowd walking in outside. Chloe hadn’t missed a single person when she had invited everyone in the school; there had also been a note in fine print allowing for plus-ones; leading to the Bourgeois party being the biggest and the best (which was exactly what Chloe wanted). Another note left on Chloe’s balcony had been found earlier that day; Chloe had been the one to raise the bee-themed Bat signal to alert Ladybug. The note had read: _Do not think for a moment that you have all the pieces, Ladybug, for there has been one crucial clue you have still to find._ Ladybug had thanked Chloe for it and told her she’d explain later, which had dawned on Chloe by the time Ladybug had mentioned the notes left by the akuma. Chat had left her to explain their plan in very little detail to a furiously concentrating Mademoiselle Bourgeois, who had offered her help for whenever they needed her. After barking a few orders out at her butler, who had immediately arranged the rooms and an impressive amount of snacks to have while they were hiding, to which Chat had probably lit up like a Christmas tree. 

Ladybug took a delicate nibble of a chocolate chip cookie. Somehow when she was transformed ad ate cookies, the energy transfused to Tikki, meaning that Marinette could eat fifteen cookies without gaining weight. She thought it was awesome. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Chat Noir, not so much. 

_Adrien, for the love of kwami please eat some more Camembert_ , Plagg’s nasally voice spoke in Adrien’s head. 

“Plagg, I ate five wedges already. I’m on the verge of throwing up,” he said to an empty room. 

_But they’re so good…_

Adrien could almost see Plagg drooling. He defiantly shoved the end of his third croissant in his mouth. “Croissants are full of protein, you know.” His voice was muffled, but Plagg hissed anyway. 

_Tikki can have all that icky sweet stuff, I don’t want any_. 

Adrien was intrigued. “Who’s Tikki?”

 _She’s the goddess of creation, didn't I tell you?_ Plagg’s voice sounded a bit sheepish. 

Adrien narrowed his eyes. “Is she Ladybug’s kwami?”

_Well, I prefer to call Ladybug her chosen, but tomay-to, tomah-to, you know…_

“What? Why didn't you tell me about her before?” 

_Because you’re constantly going googly-eyes about Ladybug, I have to be asleep most of the time if I want to survive your incessant drooling. Besides, Tikki is too good to be tarnished by your daydreams about anything that has anything to do with Ladybug. I dread the day when you have a reveal and I have to listen to you go on about her civilian side as well, I'll wake up to innocently get some Camembert and you'll be muttering _'Ladybug, Bugaboo, my love and my light, I shall love you evermore and we shall live together forever in blissful harmony'_ No thanks. _

“Hold on, do you like her?” Adrien ignored the jibe about his completely valid crush ( _anyway, who wouldn’t daydream about Ladybug, she’s awesome_ and his tone became less curious and more devilish. 

“Do you like her?” Adrien’s tone had become less curious and more devilish. 

Plagg scoffed. _The relationships between kwamis are too complex for your puny mortal mind to comprehend._

“So that’s a yes, then.” Plagg had a sudden coughing fit, hissing between intervals. Then he refused to say anything further on the matter, staying completely silent no matter how much Adrien prodded him. He shrugged and bit another croissant (it was his fifth one by that point, he knew he was eating too much but if the food transferred to Plagg it just meant that he would have a slightly more rotund kwami). 

~~~~~~~~~~

The letter was cool in her hands, the envelope stranded on the table next to her soup. The little feminine face on the red seal of the expensive paper seemed to mock her despite being half-obscured by the edge of the bowl. Her mother sat five seats up, quietly sipping the soup that the chefs had prepared with an aura of calm and control. Kagami folded the invitation in half, slipping it back into the envelope with a hint of distaste, but it was too late. 

“Kagami, have you heard about the Bourgeois’ girl’s gala?” Even without her sight, Ms Tsurugi was astoundingly good at sensing what was going on around her. The minute rustling of paper had been what gave Kagami away, but a lesser person would never have heard it. 

“Well, Mother, I wasn’t planning to go-”

“Nonsense, you must,” Ms Tsurugi rebutted. “I want you to be there and represent the family. I won’t be going, but you can and will.”

Kagami quietly sighed. “Yes, Mother.” She slipped out of her chair and went to her bedroom, leaving the envelope sitting next to her now-cold soup. 

Once inside her bedroom, Kagami opened her large closet to find something to wear. She briefly considered wearing a suit to defy her mother, but knew it wouldn’t be appropriate to do so and she would end up embarrassing herself. She picked out a knee-length sleeveless black dress with a small belt and black flats; her mother forcing her to attend wouldn’t stop her from dressing as basically as possible. She’d been to galas before, and most of them involved frills and glitter. Sparkles were not in fashion, no matter what Audrey Bourgeois said, and she was not going to stoop to the expectations of society because she was a Tsurugi and Tsurugis have far too much dignity for that. Groaning quietly, Kagami slipped the little black dress on and left her house without so much as a ‘goodbye’ being exchanged between anyone. The house was silent, and Kagami had to leave. This party was going to be so boring. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Devon from the operatic section was showing everyone his “skillz with a z” as he put it, while the table of banana daiquiris next to the dance floor was slowly emptying as more and more guests flowed into the ballroom in their suits and their fabulous gowns. Chloe had arranged for a red carpet outside so that they could all get in without the press hounding them too much (there was a crowd of reporters directly outside the building, it was like the Met Gala). A large table of hors-d'oeuvres was also available and diminishing in content by the second (Devon had largely contributed to the speed to which it had decreased in size; Chloe wasn’t happy). Chloe had somehow managed to get a giant chandelier hanging from the ceiling of the hall, towering over all the people walking in, covered in little electric candles that glowed a warm yellow. Chloe was by the entrance door greeting everyone as they came in (also so she could examine their outfits per the dress code; she’d caught Nino hanging around with Alya and Félix wearing earphones. Of course, she’d told him to take them off immediately, and Nino had said Adrien had bought them for him and it was better than wearing his chunky headphones. Chloe had grumbled and let him off.

Ladybug was getting antsy with the growing numbers of people already at the gala; if the akuma came at that moment with a bomb or something similar, it was going to be that much harder for her and Chat Noir to defeat them without endangering the lives of hundreds of Parisians (and a few other international delegates, apparently Chloe’s birthday was _that_ big a deal). She had attached a discreet little red button to the neckline of Chloe’s gown that, according to Tikki, had thermo-controls through her yo-yo, which was held at her waist. She had also found that instead of the uncomfortable high-heeled shoes she’d been expecting, Tikki had given her a pair of rather comfortable red flats that Ladybug found had stuck to walls when she had practised doing a few flips and rolls in the costume, which she had found was surprisingly easy with her huge dress - apparently it stuck to her legs when she was moving faster than usual or her adrenaline rate went up, so she’d done a bit of jogging on the ceiling and stood upside down panting for a moment before her adrenaline levels had dropped and the dress fell around her face, which had confused her and Ladybug had lost her footing and fell to the floor in a gorgeous red heap.

Growing only more agitated with the swarms of people, Ladybug set Chloe’s button fifteen degrees warmer. She had explained to Chloe that when she made it warmer, she needed or wanted to talk to her, and when she made it colder, it meant that the Mimic was there. Peeking out of a slit between the edge of a curtain and the frame of the window, she was able to see Chloe excusing herself and muttering a few words before heading upstairs. Pretending to be on her phone, she walked slowly and calmly as she walked into the room, making sure the door was firmly shut and locked before she turned to Ladybug excitedly. 

“Ladybug! Have you decided that you need me too much as Queen Bee to wait any longer because my help is invaluable?!” Chloe exclaimed. 

“No. The akuma’s not even here yet, Chloe, though I appreciate the enthusiasm,” Ladybug said shortly. “There are too many people here, I don’t want to wait too long for the Mimic to show up and end up with a bunch of hostages that they’ve captured, it’ll just make defeating it harder.”

“Should I announce you as surprise guests, maybe?” Chloe suggested. “It might prompt the Mimic to come out if they know you’re here.”

“Actually, that’s a really good idea, Chloe,” Ladybug praised her. “I’ll just tell Chat first so he knows what’s going on.” 

She flipped open her yo-yo and called Chat Noir. Within seconds, he picked up. His face looked the same as normal, except for some product or something that he must’ve put in his hair. His Cheshire grin was exactly the same, though. “Pleasure to see you, Bugaboo. May I ask, why the call?”

“Stop being so flirty, Chat Noir, it’s revolting,” Chloe leaned over the yo-yo and hid Chat’s face from Ladybug’s view. “If anyone’s going to flirt with Ladybug, it’s going to be _me_.”

Ladybug squinted at that and gently pushed Chloe out of the way. “Thanks, Chloe, but maybe not right now. Chat, I’m getting pretty stressed with all the people coming in, so Chloe had the idea of announcing us as surprise guests and prompting the Mimic to come out because they’ll know that we’re here.” 

Chat nodded, considering it. “If it means I finally get to see your dress, Bugaboo, I think we should do it.” Chloe glared at him furiously, mouthing the words _paws off_. Chat Noir winked. 

Chloe huffed. “Well then, I’ll go and announce you’re here, I suppose,” she grumbled, muttering strings of sentences that sounded strangely like ‘damn slick cat’ and ‘don’t know what he’s talking about’ as she walked out the door. Ladybug grinned and gave Chat a wave as she ended the call and gathered her skirts to get outside the door. Somehow, by some divine god(dess) of luck, her hair and jewellery were still intact as she stood outside the door for Chloe to call out that they were there. 

Outside the rooms, Chloe grabbed a spoon and a champagne glass before tapping them together to get everyone’s attention. “Hello, esteemed guests, welcome to the gala. To celebrate my fifteenth birthday, I have invited two surprise guests! Please put your hands together for Ladybug and Chat Noir!” 

The crowd went wild as the superheroes stepped out of their rooms and down the stairs slowly, shy smiles on their faces. Chat Noir snuck a glance at Ladybug and nearly fainted on the spot for how amazing she looked. Ladybug tried to spot any signs of an akuma, but seeing none, walked graciously towards Chloe with a forced smile on her face. She and Chat Noir had barely got up to the podium that Chloe was standing on before the lights went out. 

The crowds of people panicked, pushing everyone over and trampling each other in their rush to find a source of light in the mayhem. Ladybug was knocked over in the scuffle, frantically opening her yo-yo and yelling for Chat Noir while she tried to get her yo-yo to light up. She could barely hear Chat yelling back for her over the yells and screams of the people, with even Chloe’s voice drowned out. Ladybug finally managed to get her yo-yo to shine a long beam of light, sticking her hand up against the mass of people to see. It acted as a spotlight, scanning the room until it fell upon a smirking figure hanging from the chandelier, a purple top hat resting on a boyish face covered in white makeup with black eyeshadow and red lipstick. The Mimic tipped his top hat in Ladybug’s direction to reveal a head of green hair. “Hello, Ladybug,” he said in a high-pitched sing-song voice. “Welcome to the party. So sorry I couldn't greet you sooner, however, to compromise for your lateness I'm going to need your and Chat Noirs' Miraculouses.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * who watched miraculer!? (even for the ppl who are salty, it's actually really well written and has heaps of Chloe and Sabrina, which is practically extinct in the fandom so go check that out if you haven't already!)  
> * I don't know if Ms Tsurugi is blind but I'm just going to make her blind in this fanon  
> * I'm going refer to Marinette as 'Ladybug' when she's transformed and not talking to Tikki, just Marinette when she is talking to Tikki and transformed, and Marinette whenever she's detransformed  
> * I'm basing the akuma's outfit off the joker  
> * did anyone get the dw reference ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)


	16. The Gala: Part 3

Félix gaped at the scene around him. He knew Chloe’s father was rich, but the crowds of reporters swarming the block to get a glimpse of what was going on inside was a bit of a giveaway that it was going to be bigger and better than he had originally imagined. He hadn’t been able to find Adrien and after five missed calls and twelve unread texts had given up on his mission to wingman him (Marinette too, he’d called her a couple of times and no dice. He fervently hoped they’d gone off together). Félix didn’t know much about parties, but as he walked up to the Grand Paris he was of the opinion that this was one of the more high-end ones, judging by the long table of banana daiquiris occupying one length of the room. 

He had dressed up for the occasion in a black-and-white suit, bowtie and the most pretentious shoes he could find, but at that point, he was only going to the party for the food. He distantly remembered something on the invitation about presents, but he was sure Gabriel wouldn’t mind if he borrowed a few of his clothes from last year (six of them, to be exact). Madame Bourgeois would certainly be pleased to see the large box wrapped in a bright red bow, sitting on her bedroom floor the following morning (he had conspired with Chloe’s butler to get it there).

At that moment, his car rolled up to the curb and the Gorilla gave him a grunt that probably meant ‘don’t get smashed or so help me God’, but then again, it could’ve been ‘save me a banana daiquiri’. He offered a small smile and stepped out of the limousine, shutting the door behind him as he strolled breezily up to the giant red carpet that was barely visible due to the huge concentration of reporters trying to get photos. Félix was glad he’d put some effort into what he was wearing; the paparazzi looked like they were ready to mince anyone who turned up in knockoff Gucci. He strutted through with poise and stopped for half a millisecond while the photographers recognised him and started clicking their cameras wildly. And as fast as Félix had stopped, he started to walk up through the ornate glass doors with a gold leaf pattern decorating the doorframe. 

Inside, Félix found that the outfits alone were good enough to come for. Chloe’s rules regarding dresses had been heeded; Félix saw bedazzled gowns with matching bedazzled faces, people wandering around sipping soft drink disguised as champagne, nibbling on tidbits of fine dining. He could faintly hear an orchestra over the charming buzz of chatter and the sophisticated ambience of the room. There weren’t any faces he could recognise or put a name to, but he didn’t have to, for the sound of someone shouting his name snapped him out of his reverie as he turned around to face Nino and Alya, two of Adrien’s friends. They weren’t any he would have picked out to talk to, but better them than Chloe or the hors-d'oeuvres table. Félix smiled politely as Nino bounded up to him with a “Hey, dude!” as a way of greeting. Somehow Nino had managed to shed his iconic headphones for a pair of wireless earphones, and Félix would bet good money that Adrien had given them to him. He had also managed to wear something mostly formal, choosing a dark blue suit with an orange bowtie. Even with the semi-formalities, Nino still looked entirely Nino-ish. Alya had dressed up as well, wearing an orange dress with an orange purse and with her dark hair curled and trussed up on top of her head. She was still wearing her glasses, but she’d put a bit of makeup and eyeshadow that Félix was positive she didn’t usually wear. Both Nino and Alya were wearing matching grins, though. 

“What are you two doing here? I didn’t pick you two as the type for parties, especially you, Nino, much less one hosted by Chloe.” Félix imagined Alya would have far less hesitation at attending such a widely-publicised event. She liked to use those kinds of things to promote the Ladyblog, according to Marinette. 

“We’re here to publicise it, Chloe wanted someone reliable who she knew she could strangle without consequence if they did the wrong thing,” Alya laughed. “Nino’s here as my plus-one and to keep me alive for the next few hours.”

“Yeah, I’m the only person here who appreciates the idea of throwing cocktails at some of the more stuck-up guests,” Nino added. “Chloe sure made one hell of a guest list.”

“I know,” Félix smirked, watching a woman across the room screech as another woman spilt something dark on her pale green dress. “Some of the guests are rather… unsubtle. I imagine many of them are Chloe’s political friends or something similar, she probably has quite a few contacts due to her father’s position. However, I don’t think many of them are, shall I say, easy to get along with.” 

“You got that right, bud,” Nino said with a grimace at the scene that the young woman was making. “I’m so glad Alya’s never like that, eh, Alya?” He nudged her side and she slapped him gently on the arm. 

“Nino, you know perfectly well that I have never had a temper tantrum in my life, and I don’t plan to,” Alya said airily. “Anyway, you should watch it, you spilt some of Andre’s ice cream on me only last week.” 

“But I didn’t mean to, babe!” Nino protested. “I was only trying to get away from the pigeon! I swear, it was out to get me! The flipping thing came out of nowhere and by then it was just too late for my poor, undeserving ice-cream.” He gazed faux-mournfully at the ground. 

“And my poor, undeserving dress,” Alya remarked dryly. 

Félix felt awkward. He didn’t like any sort of lover’s quarrel and he didn’t particularly like being the third wheel, but this was both. “You know, I should probably be off-”

“Hello, esteemed guests, welcome to the gala. To celebrate my fifteenth birthday, I have invited two surprise guests! Please put your hands together for Ladybug and Chat Noir!” Chloe exclaimed. Félix raised his eyebrows. So that was why Adrien hadn’t shown up. Damn, he’d been rooting for him and Marinette. He could distantly see Ladybug making her way down some stairs with Adrien in his Chat costume ( _get it, cousin_ ) as they walked towards Chloe. The lights flickered out, startling him and cutting in the middle of Alya’s sentence (neither her nor Nino had seen Ladybug and Chat Noir because they were too busy flirt-fighting with each other). 

A spotlight came on a moment later to reveal a weirdly-dressed akuma hanging from the chandelier. Félix was too surprised to hear what it was saying. He fumbled around for a banana daiquiri to rid himself of the akuma bellowing about how he wanted Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous. His hands reached something and he pulled it to his face before realising it was a hand. He looked warily up at the owner of the hand. “Uh, sorry, I couldn’t see - wait, Kagami?”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

Three minutes. _Three bloody minutes_. She hadn’t been asking for a miracle, but having some posh girl talk to her like she was trash was, to say the least, underwhelming. Kagami had sacrificed her precious time to attend this party for her mother and if a Tsurugi attended a party, they did not spill their high-quality milky tea with pearls onto another guest. Even if that guest had barged past her and was basically asking for it, the prat. 

“How COULD you?!” the girl asked, looking traumatised. “This is a BRAND NEW DRESS! I can’t have it tainted with that- that mess!”

“Excuse you, my tea is the finest in France. Your ‘brand new dress’ looks better for it,” Kagami snarked. What a waste of milky tea, this chick didn’t even appreciate it. “You know, you could always get changed into something not covered in tea. I imagine if you leave milky tea on cloth too long, it becomes rather annoying to fix.” The girl’s eyes enlarged as she wailed pathetically and ran out of the hall. _Thank goodness Mother didn’t see that one_ , Kagami thought ruefully. _I’d never hear the end of it_. 

She picked the empty cup off the floor, discarding it on a nearby table littered with yellowish drinks. She could just barely hear Chloe speaking about something or other, but Kagami wasn’t the kind of girl who ever listened to Chloe Bourgeois. She’d met her fewer times than she could count on one hand, but that was five too many times. There were some gasps and clapping around her that were directed elsewhere as Kagami slipped a hand in her purse to get her phone and open a new game of sudoku. Her mother’s reputation wasn’t worth all this fuss and nonsense. She unlocked her phone with a quick eye scan and flicked open a new game, slipping backwards next to the table and blending into the wall in order to avoid socialising. Ah, wallflowers. So invisible. 

Suddenly the light of her phone became a whole lot brighter, and it took Kagami a quarter of a second to realise the room was entirely dark. A couple of phones lit up in a desperate bid to light up the room, but it did nothing to quell the darkness. She wondered where the reporters had all gone; their mad camera-flashing might prove to be of some use, but no cameras lit up the hall. A yo-yo, however, did, as Ladybug shone it around the room and up at the ceiling. There were too many dramatic gasps for Kagami’s liking. She wasn’t fond of akumas, especially since her bad history with them, and she always made a mind to stay well away from any scenes such as the one she had walked right into. _Mother’s reputation is_ so _not worth this_! 

A hand fumbled for hers and pulled her a bit towards a face hidden in the black. Kagami turned on her phone light to shine it in the face of the person who had… dragged her hand to his mouth? “Uh, sorry, I couldn’t see - wait, Kagami?”

“Félix?” The words had no longer slipped out of Kagami’s mouth when Ladybug dove furiously for the akuma, her outfit just barely visibly changing from some huge ballgown to her normal, practical one, in mid-air. Kagami snapped her eyes to the scene as Chat Noir exclaimed and shouted out for her as he flew at the purple person too. The lights came back on, revealing a mass of weirdos with multi-coloured pigtails and carrying heavy-looking baseball bats. The rest of the poshos in their fancy dress squealed and tried to run away and Ladybug and Chat Noir double-handedly tackled the akuma to the ground. He (she? it?) rose up into the air, faintly glowing green, as the maniac people below stopped and snapped to attention. 

“Ladybug, Chat Noir, I won’t say it one more time,” the akuma roared. “Give me your miraculous, or everyone in this room dies. Including you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hey!!! just wanted to apologise in advance because the update next week is probably going to be a couple of days late, I found out I have a french speech to present in five days and I'm swamped. thank you for being patient!  
> * I'm still trying to figure out whether I should do feligami or chlogami but ARGH both of them are so GOOD  
> * someone in my discord recently told me that most ppl just scroll past crossovers/oc ships and I had no idea so thank you for reading this anyway (still don't know if this counts tbh)  
> * more aggressive akuma stuff and fight scene next chap ;)  
> * also possibly some more ladynoir fluff! *cough cough* and maaaybe adrienette I'll see how it goes


	17. Spray Cans And Baseball Bats

_I will crush you. I will take your brain in my tiny red hands and I will pulverise your atoms and scatter the particles of your body over the surfaces of a thousand suns. I will remove your existence from the memory of every human on Earth and I will watch with glee as you shrivel up into dust under my fingers. I will mix your ashes with the flaming remnants of your godforsaken mask and burn you alive with the force of my death glare, Hawkmoth._

It was fair to say, Ladybug was not having a great day. 

The Mimic had declared everyone was going to die, managed to pull up some spotlights to show a bunch of painted dynamite hidden on the ceiling that had blended in ( _Seriously, Chloe? You didn’t check this?_ ) and had demanded the Miraculouses be handed over or he’d pull the trigger. The crowds around them were all either frozen in fear, turned into minions or scrabbling to get out of the hall. The akuma slunk his way towards her and Chat Noir, only metres away and hand reaching out to take their Miraculouses. Ladybug’s eyes flared at the malice and smugness on his face. She looked up determinedly, deciding that if this was going to be the last time she became Ladybug, she wasn’t going to do it staring meekly at her feet. Her eyes fixated on one of the bombs. A little fly buzzed up to the creamy-white object, flying dangerously near it. The fly flew on it and the image of the bomb flickered for a millisecond, like static. The fly came out the other side, unharmed. 

Ladybug’s eyes widened. _It’s not real_. She almost slapped her forehead. Of course, that was the Mimic’s power. He didn’t just mimic other things himself, he mimicked objects and things that weren’t there. There was no bomb - she didn’t have to give him her Miraculous! 

She crossed her fingers and pressed it into Chat’s back - their sign for _attack_. They'd decided a few months prior that it would be useful to have signs, and so now they could communicate a multitude of things discreetly that usually didn’t require contact. If they were far apart, Ladybug would wave her crossed fingers at him, but she had to do it in a way that wouldn’t be visible to the akuma. Chat looked at her worriedly, his eyes searching. She nodded slightly, shifting her right foot backwards, left hand still on his back. She put three fingers up, folding one back to count down from three. _Two, one -_

Ladybug leapt for the Mimic, withdrawing her hand and unleashing her yo-yo in his general direction. The Mimic was taken unawares at first, falling down and getting tangled up in the string, but he wriggled around and suddenly there were twelve Mimics tangled in Ladybug’s yo-yo. Ladybug blinked in confusion, yanking on the yo-yo string and grinning as one of the akumas came whizzing towards her. He whipped off his hat, waving it over himself and transforming into a menacing hawk with a little purple hat. Chat Noir slashed at the bird with his claws, the Mimic dodging and flying high above the scene only to dive again, aiming for Ladybug. She leapt out of the way, rolling over and getting back on her feet with some struggle. The fight in her was dissipating. 

She could see Chat Noir wasn’t as energetic either - he fought with a dull lack of speed, each move purposeful and with power but still conserving his energy. They needed some help. “Lucky Charm!” Ladybug cried. A red-and-black spotted spray can dropped from the sky. “What am I supposed to do with this?” She asked with anxiety. 

Ladybug looked around with her Lucky Vision, seeing nothing. Her eyes swung towards the akuma, who transformed back to its original form, hanging on the chandelier. It spotted the spray can with a sinister smile on his face. “I don’t think it’s really the time to be painting, Ladybug. However, you might want to reconsider your decision to withold your Miraculous from me, otherwise you’ll end up with more than a makeover.”

“Please, if we're going to get makeup tips from anybody, you’re definitely not the first person I’d pick,” Chat said. 

The Mimic snarled at him and dropped down from the chandelier, landing a punch in Chat’s gut. He doubled over, wheezing for air as Ladybug covered him and showered a flurry of blows on the Mimic, keeping the spray can tucked in the crook of her arm. _Where’s the akuma hiding?_ Ladybug thought desperately. She swivelled her head, noticing her Lucky Vision lighting up on the Mimic’s hat and on Chat. _The akuma’s in his hat!_ A plan formulated in her head like a cake batter. Her eyes lit up. Time to cook this cake, once and for all. 

Ladybug yelled, “Over here, Mimic!” 

The Mimic raised his head, smirking and transforming back into the hawk, flying feet-first for her earrings. Chat glanced up at her, meeting her eyes and nodding determinedly. She took out the spray can, and, just as the Mimic was about to reach her face, she sprayed red paint all over him, stiffening his wings and yanking his hat off as he fell to the ground. Throwing it in the air, she cried, “Now, Chat!” 

“Cataclysm!”

Chat reached for the hat and disintegrated it with the light touch of his claw. Ladybug watched as the infected violet butterfly fluttered out, swinging her yo-yo and catching it effortlessly. She cleansed it, softly saying “Bye bye, little butterfly,” and watching it flutter away. 

She shared a smile with Chat, throwing the spray can up in the air and crying out “Miraculous Ladybug!” Little red ladybugs flew all over the hall, fixing the damage and returning everything back to how it was before. 

Ladybug turned to face the Mimic, who appeared to be a small boy with brown hair and a dazed look on his face. “Are you alright?” She asked kindly. Chat sucked in a sharp breath beside her. “What’s your name?” she asked. 

“Uh- I’m Wayhem. Wayhem. What happened to me, Ladybug?” Wayhem asked, exhaustion clear in his expression. 

“You were akumatized, Wayhem,” Chat Noir cut in before Ladybug could speak. “But don’t worry, everything’s okay now. You’re alright.”

“Oh… thank you, Ladybug, Chat Noir,” Wayhem rubbed his forehead. “But could I go home now, please?” 

Chat nodded. “I’ll take him, m’lady,” he said to Ladybug, carrying Wayhem’s weight and lifting the boy up. “But don’t worry, I’ll be right back,” he winked and saluted her with two fingers before extending his baton and disappearing. 

~~~~~~~~~~  
_Earlier_

“I-I wasn’t aware you were coming,” Félix stuttered. 

Kagami raised an eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware you went to parties. You don’t strike me as the type.” She leaned against the wall, a picture of relaxation. Both of them ignored the akuma that was fighting the superheroes, uninterested in the fate of Chloe Bourgeois’ cursed gala. 

“Parties aren’t my thing, no, but I originally planned to come with Adrien. He ditched me, though.” Félix glared at Chat Noir briefly. 

Kagami looked in the same direction he was looking in, slightly confused when she realised he was glaring at Chat Noir. “You know what?” She wasn’t looking for an answer. “Let’s get out of here, this party is overrated.” She grabbed his hand and marched out of the hall, ploughing through the transfixed crowd like they were dominoes. 

Félix looked alarmed and nearly tripped over his feet because of the speed that Kagami was walking at. She could easily beat him in a race. He tried to balance himself and realised that his efforts were futile, giving into being dragged along by the firy girl in front of him and just trying not to knock anyone else over. Kagami pushed the doors open, stopping dead still when she came face to face with what used to be the paparazzi. 

They had frozen still and were carrying baseball bats with expressionless faces and closed eyes. Kagami tiptoed around them, carefully avoiding coming into contact with them and edging her way through the group. Félix followed close behind, his panic increasing as one by one, the robot-like people slowly began to come to life, heads turning towards his and Kagami like tigers vying for a piece of meat. Kagami grabbed Félix’s hand again. “Run!” She hissed, sprinting away. Félix heeded her advice as a good three-quarters of the crowd walked inside the hall, baseball bats swinging wildly and the other quarter turned and gave chase to him and Kagami. 

Félix ran frantically away from the ever-nearing monsters who were gaining speed and were bound to catch up to them. They had to find somewhere to hide. He searched the surroundings for somewhere to go, yelling to get her attention as he spotted a tall building nearby with a fire exit door that could be unlocked. “Here!”

Kagami raced towards him with the akuma’s minions close behind as Félix tried the door to see if it was unlocked. To his delight, it was, and he ushered Kagami through the door and shut it behind himself, seeing a glimpse of the akuma’s minions as he slammed the door shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * my french exam was postponed till tomorrow and it's so sTRESSFUL cause I have a bad cold too and I've been sleeping for the entire day but I managed to chug this out so yay!  
> * unpopular opinion but oranges have a yucky acidic aftertaste (my mum's been force-feeding me anything with vitamin c)  
> * I'm just venting here and being completely irrelevant to the chapter so I'll just cut it off here but please enjoy the story! hope you like it :D  
> *edit: I just realised I hit 50k words! ahh this is so much more dedication than I thought I'd end up with for this fic (tfw you look at all those unfinished fics you started when you were nine and posted on wattpad only to delete a year later because you realise they're actually so weird - I found a bunch of dramione draft fics in my library last year and had no trouble purging myself of them)


	18. All Of Creation And Anime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> félix has a total not-moment, ladynoir makes me squee and adrien tells félix what's up.

Félix turned around to find Kagami gazing up a bland grey stairwell that seemed to be their only path. He sat down, panting furiously. Kagami was also gasping to catch her breath. 

“I… I think we’ve lost them,” Félix chuckled, still out of breath. He could hear a faint pounding on the other side of the door. “We should probably go up, though, just to be on the safe side.” 

Kagami nodded and began the climb. 

If Félix was really paying attention, he would have noticed how many floors the building seemed to have and how they should’ve reached a roof right now. He’d only seen a three-or-four storey building outside, it shouldn’t have been that high. But Félix was far too focused on the stitch in his side (exercise was not his friend) to think of anything but the food he wanted to eat. Running made him ridiculously hungry. If only he had eaten some of that really good food back at Chloe’s party… food… yum…

“Félix!” Kagami exclaimed, pinching his arm to get him out of his reverie. “Snap out of it.”

“Huh?” Félix blinked and Félix followed tiredly after her. Ugh, stairs. 

If Félix was really paying attention, he would have noticed how many floors the building seemed to have and how they should’ve reached a roof right about then. He’d only seen a three-or-four storey building outside, it shouldn’t have been that high. But unfortunately, Félix was far too focused on the stitch in his side (exercise was certainly not his friend) to pay any attention to think of anything but the food that his rumbling stomach would definitely like to eat. If only he had eaten some of the food back at Chloe’s party… food… yummy…

“Félix!” Kagami exclaimed, punching him in the arm and snapping Félix out of his reverie. He was still really hungry, though. 

“Huh?” Félix blinked a few times and shook his head. 

“The door, we’re at the top,” Kagami said impatiently, pulling open a grey door that Félix had simply walked past. She stalked outside and put a hand to her face to shield her eyes from the sunset. Félix followed her and let the door swing shut behind him. He could see another door on the opposite side of the roof that would lead them downstairs and to the ground again. Dragging himself along, he staggered to the other side of the roof and reached out for the doorknob. 

_Click._

Félix tried again. The door must have been faulty, there was no way it-

 _Click_.

“Um… Kagami, I think we may have a slight, tiny problem here…” Félix’s voice sounded nervous even to his own ears. 

“Yeah, no kidding,” Kagami called back. “How high up is this?”

“It’s not that high, it’s only four or so…” Félix turned around to find Kagami staring down the side of the building. He took a few steps towards her and saw a tiny red brick building on the street across them, what seemed to be miles down. “...Floors.”

“We got the wrong building? Seriously!?” Kagami groaned. “I climbed all that way up for nothing. At least we can get back down easily enough, though. I suppose going down is easier than going up.”

“Erm, well, uh, you see...” Félix rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “I hate to say it, but unfortunately we’re not going anywhere.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Pound it!” The iconic fistbump marked the end of the akuma attack, and, having retrieved and purified the dark little butterfly, Ladybug threw up the spotted spray can and said the other iconic superhero cry: “Miraculous Ladybug!” 

The torrential rain of ladybugs whirled around them in a flurry of red sparkles, enveloping the damage that the akuma had done and returning its henchmen to their normal selves. 

~~~~~~~~~~

“Well, if we’re stuck here we might as well get to know each other,” Félix said breezily, sitting down and crossing his legs. 

Kagami stared at him. “You’re not even going to try and get down?”

Félix raised his eyebrows and gestured to the edge of the rooftop. “I’d like to see you try.” This time he received a glare.

“No offence, but your outfit is far less… indispensable than mine.” The edge of her mouth curved slightly. 

“Seriously? I’ll have you know that this suit is top of the line seasonal clothing designed by my uncle, Gabriel Agreste,” Félix puffed out his chest and stuck out his legs to show off the very plain suit he was boasting about. 

Kagami snorted. “Gabriel Agreste isn’t even that good at designing, all his lines are boring.”

Félix winced. “I’m so glad he didn’t hear you say that.”

“Or what, he’d get the Gorilla to go after me?” Kagami held up her fists and held a mock fighting stance. “Come at me, you coward.” She punched the air and faked a kick in Félix’s direction. “Actually, I’d probably be better with a sabre.” 

“Yikes, remind me not to get on your bad side,” Félix smiled. Kagami’s mouth curved again, then her expression went sour.

“My mother says I should be more dainty outside the fencing ring. She thinks that when I grow up I’ll marry the rich son of a family friend and that I shouldn’t get my hopes up for being a professional fencer. Apparently I should be more meek and mild, as she puts it, if I want any hope for a good husband.”

Félix grimaced. “That sounds horrible. You deserve better.”

“Don’t you dare pity me.” Kagami’s voice was toneless. “I may not have a decent mother, but I will always, _always_ have my dignity.”

“I’m not,” Félix said gently, standing up. “But you sound like you could use a friend right now.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Kagami sounded a little choked up. But when Félix held out a hand to her and she took it, for the briefest moment, she smiled. 

~~~~~~~~~~

“You know, m’lady, I think it would’ve been calmer if I’d just stayed home. I could be having a catnap right now, you know.” Chat Noir lounged his head lazily on Ladybug’s lap. 

Ladybug wound a third finger into Chat’s golden hair, giggling at the light rumble that came from his chest. “Are you saying you’d rather be at home than with me?” She asked jokingly. “If I’m so unappreciated, I might as well leave, then, shall I?”

“No!” Chat exclaimed. He snatched Ladybug’s wrist just as she was about to pull it from his hair and he pressed it flat against his head. “Please don’t leave, Bugaboo,” he mewled. 

Ladybug laughed. “Silly kitty,” she said fondly, ruffling his hair up. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

“You’re the best partner ever,” Chat announced, adding a decisive nod as if to persuade the imaginary crowds around them that out of the many superhero partners he’d had through his long experience, Ladybug had proved herself to be the only one worthy of the title.

“And I’m the luckiest lady in Paris,” Ladybug declared. “I mean, not to brag, but I kinda have the power of all of creation and anime on my side.”

Chat beamed up at her like the Chesire Chat. Ladybug mirrored him with a glint in her eyes. “You know what? I think a little exercise wouldn’t hurt.”

Quick as a flash, Ladybug removed her hand from Chat’s hair, ignoring his yelp of protest, and jumped off the roof that they were sitting on. “ _Cat_ ch me if you can!” She yelled over her shoulder. Chat Noir looked at her, aghast, before realizing she was getting away and snapping into action mode, getting on all fours and chasing her across the rooftops. 

Ladybug laughed joyfully in the wind as she hooked her yo-yo around the nearest chimney, swung around and met Chat’s shocked face as she went straight past him in the opposite direction. She stuck her tongue out and waved to him as she soared through the sky, running away. 

Chat smirked in her direction and vaulted on his baton after her, using all his energy to catch up until they were running side by side. They shared a devious look and Ladybug yelled: “First one to the Eiffel Tower wins!”

“You’re on,” Chat replied, practically galloping. He ducked to the side and sped around another building, travelling towards the Tower in elongated bounds. 

Ladybug did similarly, swinging along like a monkey and catapulting herself through the air when she spotted two tiny figures sitting on top of one of Chloe’s father’s buildings. The thing was massive, she had no idea how they’d even gotten there. The figures didn’t seem to have seen them, but Ladybug alerted Chat Noir anyway. “Chat!”

Chat flicked his eyes over to Ladybug, who had stopped running entirely and was peering at the people on the building. He slowed down, turning around and coming back to her before stopping. “What is it, m’lady?”

“I think there are people on the building over there,” Ladybug replied, gazing at them. “And I reckon they’re stuck.”

“How the hell did they get stuck up there?” Chat asked. Because of his cat vision, he could see quite a lot more than Ladybug, and as he squinted at the two figures who appeared to be standing up, he could make out Félix and Kagami. His mouth dropped open. “Yeah, we should probably go get them,” Chat said, rubbing his chin in confusion. And the worst part was that he couldn’t even berate Félix as Adrien because he couldn’t let him know that he had two identities!

~~~~~~~~~~

Félix smiled at Kagami and squeezed her hand. It might have been a trick of the light, but he was sure that she turned pink, if only for a second. It was only the movement in the background that pulled his eyes from hers, and when he stared behind her, Kagami turned around and let go of him to see what he was looking at. Félix would never admit it, but he missed the warmth of her hand. 

He turned to face Ladybug and Adrien - no, it was ‘Chat Noir’ (he had to have a word with him about the costume, Adrien was a complete furry but he wasn’t supposed to waltz around Paris in _that_ \- Gabriel would go into cardiac arrest if he knew). 

“How did you two even get up here?” Ladybug asked, landing lightly next to Chat Noir. “Was it the akuma?”

“We, uh, got stuck,” Félix said abashedly. “The doors were locked.”

“Right,” Ladybug said without any conviction whatsoever. “Let’s get you home then.”

“I’ll take Félix,” Chat volunteered. That way he’d be able to easily just slip into his room and detransform in case Félix decided to check up on him. 

Félix understood that Adrien was probably just vying for an excuse to hang out with him, bless him and his soft heart, but he was mildly irritated that Ladybug and Chat Noir had interrupted his… as of yet unknown thing that was going on with Kagami. Not to say that he liked her, no, that would be preposterous, he merely found her interesting to talk to. Kagami seemed like the kind of person to compliment you one second and strangle you the next, and Félix found that he rather liked it. 

“Alright, I’ll take Kagami,” Ladybug said, placing an arm under the girl’s shoulder and hoisting her up. “Bug out!” She flicked her yo-yo with her free hand and sailed off. 

“Come on, hop up,” Chat said, gesturing to his baton. “Where do you live again?”

 _Secret identity, schmecret ischmentity_ , Félix thought. “My room is literally five metres away from yours,” he deadpanned. Life was short, and he needed to vent. And tell Adrien that his outfit was ridiculous. 

“Huh?” Chat replied, though Félix could see a flicker of shock in his eyes. “Who’s Adrien?”

“You, you dolt, and by the way, you’re terrible at lying.”

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Are you kidding me, Félix?!” Chat started panicking and took Félix with him, jumping over the buildings with his baton, muttering how he shouldn’t have such a stupid cousin and he was a good kid, what did he do to deserve this. Chat reached the Agreste Manor, ducking in a window and dropping Félix down so he could press his hands against his temples. With a shower of green, Plagg zipped out of the ring and left Adrien skintight-leather-suit-less to go and sit on Félix’s shoulder. 

Adrien looked up to find his best friend sitting on the shoulder of his other best friend (Nino was a close third). His face contorted with the anguish of Plagg’s betrayal. “I thought we were friends, Plagg! How could you?”

“He gave me these things called ‘gummy bears’, I think,” Plagg said. “Now I know why Tikki likes them so much.” 

Félix grinned at his cousin like the cat who’d got the cream. Adrien sighed. “You’re really not supposed to know about this, you know. How did you even figure it out?”

“I have no idea how the rest of Paris didn’t,” Félix retorted. “You wear the same cologne, you both pun too much, you’re both total furries and also neither of you ever change your hair. Ever. Honestly, you’ve got the fluffiest hair in France, so speaking as someone who knew you before you learned to walk, that’s a big freaking giveaway.”

“Hey!” Adrien exclaimed. “I’m not a furry!” Félix gave him a look. “Okay, maybe I am kind of a furry. But cats are awesome,” he defended himself. 

“Seconded,” Plagg interrupted. “Cats are awesome, they’re so underrated. Jeez, I really miss Ancient Egypt. Those were some good times. People would call me a god, and give me cheese, and everyone would worship me and tell me that I was the greatest thing that happened to them.” Plagg sighed. 

“Speaking of cats, your costume is outrageous,” Félix stated. “I could do better than that in my sleep.” 

“Oi!” Adrien yelled. “I’m the one whose dad is a fashion designer, not you! You can’t just critique my outfit!” 

“It’s based on his true desire,” Plagg snorted. Adrien scowled at him. 

Félix cackled. “No wonder, that makes so much sense.”

“You say that now, but if you ever had a Miraculous your costume would probably be a bloody peacock,” Adrien grumbled. 

“Not to worry, cousin. If I ever get a Miraculous and my outfit is more stylish than yours, I promise that I won’t rub it in your face.”

“That’s it,” Adrien said, making some rude gestures that Félix was surprised he even knew, “I’m leaving. Come on, Plagg!”

“Where are you going?” Félix asked, waving goodbye to the unhappy kwami, who, no doubt, was thinking about cheese. 

“If you really must know, I’m going to the Dupain-Cheng bakery to get some sugar. I can’t handle all this sarcasm in my face without some croissants to tide me over,” Adrien groaned. Plagg brightened up immediately, floating mildly faster to reach him as he speed-walked out. 

Félix was pleasantly surprised. _Huh. I didn’t know he had it in him, that little rascal. I hope Marinette doesn’t trip over her feet too much when he goes over to surprise her - I need to have some chance of godchildren._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here ends my three-week-long hiatus that I completely forgot to tell you about. in my defence, I have given you an extra large chapter to make up for it.  
> let me explain before everyone whacks me: I have a *very* good explanation.  
> I have been having continuous assessments for weeks. it's been fricking exhausting and I have three brain cells left. I took a break from writing so as to recharge and focus on school (btw, I got some of my marks back and I actually did pretty well (＾◡＾)) but I did not mention it in the last chapter's notes because I am an actual idiot. nevertheless, here I am, weeks later, with a chapter. I did not give up on this fic. I will NEVER give up on this fic because it is so much fun writing and I love seeing the comments and people giving kudos, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. anyway, I hope this chapter made you all warm and fuzzy too. happy holidays!  
> PS. in july I'm doing camp nanowrimo for the second time (first was in april) and I'm aiming for 30k words, which means longer and more frequent updates for you! XD


	19. Cobblestones and Croissants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adrienette fluff ;)

Adrien shoved his hands into the pocket of his jacket as he walked along a silent cobbled street on the way to the Dupain-Cheng bakery. He was absolutely ravenous, and Félix being such a prat had only served to fuel Adrien’s innermost desire for all that he ever wanted in life: croissants. 

He had briefly considered transforming into Chat Noir and merely jumping a few times across the roofs of houses to take the shortcut, but Félix would undoubtedly see him leaving and yell some snarky comment out the window at him. Besides, it was more peaceful walking down the little side streets of Paris. Everything was so much bigger up close. When he and Ladybug stood on top of the Eiffel Tower together, the rest of the world were merely ants compared to them. All the people, all the places, everything was so small. But down on the ground it was huge. Parisian culture was embedded in the very street Adrien walked upon, and he knew that this was something that he would never know about as Chat Noir. Sometimes he was so high up that he’d forget there even was a down. 

The cobblestones clicked and crunched beneath his heeled designer shoes ( _Gabriel_ s, of course) and Adrien walked with a skip in his step as he got closer and closer to the bakery, his heels tapping against the sidewalk. He rapped on the door three times with a closed fist, and heard a faint thump-thump-thump from behind the door. 

“Coming!” A high-pitched voice called quietly. “Please be quiet, my parents are asleep… Adrien?”

“Marinette?” Adrien stared at the dark-haired girl with confusion. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh… I live here?” Marinette looked just as befuddled as he did. “What are you doing here?”

“Well I-I wanted a croissant…” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. “But if it’s too late then I should probably go…”

“No!” Marinette cried. Then she went bright red, not that Adrien noticed. “Um - I mean - I’ll get you a croissant, come on in,” She beckoned him in urgently with the palm of her hand. “But be quiet, my parents are sleeping.”

“Why? It’s not very late,” Adrien pointed out curiously. 

“Oh, they have to get up really early so they can bake all the morning produce before the day starts. They get up, like, insanely early. I have no idea how they do it,” Marinette chuckled. 

“Yeah,” Adrien agreed, smiling at the many times that Marinette had stumbled late into class and forgetting some key things like not wearing her pyjamas to school. He also remembered the numerous encounters with Natalie where he had forgotten to put on pants and she had interrupted him at the door to give him a lecture about being responsible and upholding the Agreste name, which had always just made him late. 

“Um- I’ll g-get you that croissant now, if you want,” Marinette babbled nervously. 

Adrien smiled at her kindly. “Yes please, that would be nice. Sorry for bothering you after the shop closed, I didn’t get home till twenty minutes ago.”

“Twenty minutes ago?” Marinette questioned, walking behind the counter and snatching the tongs from the table behind her to carefully select the best pastry possible from the leftovers pile of that day. 

 

“I - that is to say - I had a photo shoot,” Adrien bumbled his way through the sentence and came close to slapping himself. _Agreste, you dolt, what are you doing._

“Right,” Marinette smirked. “I swear your entire life is photoshoot after photoshoot.”

“Sometimes it is,” Adrien muttered darkly. Marinette panicked. 

“Uh - not to - I didn’t mean to offend you or anything-”

“No, no, that’s okay, no offence taken,” Adrien assured her. “Enough about me, anyway. How are you doing? I feel like we’ve barely talked in ages.”

Marinette turned pink again. “Oh, me, there’s not much going on, really…”

“Nothing?” Adrien pushed. 

“Well,” Marinette started shyly, “I’ve got a new commission from Jagged Stone again, which is pretty cool. I-I mean, if you think he’s cool, that’s cool, you’re cool-”

“What commission?” Adrien interrupted gently, pausing Marinette in her panic-induced frenzy. She took a deep breath, hand still holding the tongs and choosing pastry, and continued. 

“He asked me to design a new T-shirt for him because Penny, his manager, thinks he should get something new. He usually wears the same shirt, and he has like five hundred of them, but Penny thinks he needs to keep it fresh, and he wanted his niece to make one.”

“He calls you his niece?” Adrien asked.

Marinette blushed. “Yeah, I call him Uncle Jagged too, and I’m really good friends with Penny. Sometimes when he’s not busy on the weekend we go out together for ice cream at Andre’s.”

“That sounds really nice,” Adrien smiled. 

“Here you go!” Marinette said, holding out a large white box with the name _Dupain-Cheng Patisserie_ printed on it. 

“That looks like more than one croissant, Marinette.”

“Well, you can’t blame me, you’re as skinny as a stick!” Marinette exclaimed.

“Hey!” Adrien pretended to be hurt. “I’m buff!”

Marinette raised her eyebrows. “Well, we can’t have that, can we?” She pushed the box further into his arms. 

“Alright,” Adrien said, doing a bad job of suppressing his grin. “Thanks for the cakes and pastries and everything. I’ll- I’ll come over more often if you want, and we can talk more.” 

Marinette stammered with a face the colour of beetroot and eyes like a deer in the headlights. “Um - yes! That would be nice, hanging out with me, I-I mean with you, I’d like to hang out with you… that would be nice.” She finished, her face absolutely burning. 

“Great!” Adrien chirped. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” He took a step closer and put his hand on Marinette’s shoulder. “It was really nice talking with you,” Adrien said warmly. 

“Uh… yeah… Nice talking to you too,” Marinette said dazedly, managing a half-hearted wave as Adrien waved to her and went outside, cradling the box carefully with one hand and energetically waving to her with the other. 

“Tikki?” Marinette sighed, blinking slowly with a lovesick smile on her face. 

“Yes, Marinette?” Tikki flew out of her hiding spot and perched on Marinette’s shoulder (the one Adrien hadn’t touched).

“I’m never washing my shoulder again.” Marinette sighed once more and nearly fell over on her way up the stairs to her bedroom because she wasn’t paying any attention. 

“Maybe do it once or twice, otherwise Adrien might think you smell a bit funny,” Tikki advised her. 

“Oh, yeah, I didn’t think of that. Good night, Tikki,” Marinette said. She crawled into bed and Tikki heard a little snoring a few moments later. 

“Good night, Marinette,” Tikki said softly. Then, to herself, she added: “I bet Plagg is going to have an absolute field day about this.”

Downstairs, Mr and Mme. Dupain-Cheng were laughing quietly at the hubbub that had come from upstairs. “He’s going to make such a wonderful son,” Sabine said. 

“We can bake cookies together,” Tom agreed. 

“I don’t think the son of Gabriel Agreste has ever cracked an egg in his life,” Sabine pointed out. 

“Then I’ll teach him! I’ll teach him everything there is to know about baking until he’s fatter than one of my famous croissants,” Tom decided vehemently. 

“Alright, dearie,” Sabine laughed. “But don’t scare the poor love off before he and Marinette are together. I know you’re a teddy bear and the kindest person in my life, but Adrien might take one look at Marinette’s overprotective father and run off in a fright.”

“Fine, I’ll just start with cookies,” Tom grumbled. 

Sabine kissed him on the cheek. “That is a lovely idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * tomorrow nanowrimo starts! this is a pretty short chapter but for the next month it's gonna be about 2k-3k words per chapter, and I'll have extra chapters left over for afterwards, yippee!  
> * I realised today that I've been spelling macarons wrong from the start of the fic and I had absolutely no idea  
> * this is probably my shortest A/N yet but I hope you all have lovely holidays!


	20. Dark Kwamis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remember that teeny bit of lore and foreshadowing in like chapter 9? yeah i posted that and promptly forgot about it until yesterday, so here's a chapter that's basically all lore and i loved writing plagg so much ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

“I don’t know when this happened, Plagg. Do you recognise it? Have you seen anything similar?”

Plagg gazed in dismay as Adrien pulled his shirt up further and glared at the menacing scar on his stomach. It was dark - almost black, or indigo. Adrien couldn’t remember getting hurt much during the akuma attack, and not like this. The mark looked unnatural. Like- like…

“We need to go see Master Fu.” 

 

~~~~~~~~~~

Félix woke up with the mild sense that he was being watched. He cracked one eye open, just a sliver, and burrowed further under his thick, expensive blankets in case it was someone who wanted to wake him up. Nothing. All clear. Noth-

Gabriel. 

Gabriel Frigging Agreste was sitting on a chair watching him sleep. For goodness’ sake, he was sitting on the same chair that Adrien had sat on when he’d been practically stalking Félix. At least his uncle hadn’t found his sweet stash. Félix closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep, just in case he was able to shake off the bothersome man who looked like he’d come straight out of the dry cleaner’s store. It was unnerving, if Félix was being honest. It was far too early in the morning for his charades, but apparently six a.m. was a decent time to be fully dressed and sitting in your nephew’s bedroom while he slept, according to his dear uncle. 

“Félix, I know you’re awake.” Gabriel interrupted Félix’s inner monologue with absolutely zero remorse, but Félix muttered a quiet curse to himself before responding. 

“What is it?” He asked. Gabriel hated impoliteness and when others were curt with him. It was one of his many pet peeves. Another was when people ignored him or pretended not to have heard him. Also when he was given eggs for breakfast. Monsieur Agreste and eggs were not on favourable terms. 

“Adrien.” Gabriel didn’t tend to give simplified summaries, no; he would either give an unecessarily long-winded explanation to a new intern and expect them to understand it in order to challenge their integrity or he would give brief, confusing explanations that didn’t really help anything. 

“How is Adrien a reason to wake me up this early?” Félix yawned, propping himself up on his elbows and staring at his uncle. “Hmm?”

“He’s going out by himself too often,” Gabriel said suddenly. “Last night he was out of the house for at least an hour without my permission or knowledge, and he’s been pulling disappearing acts constantly for the past few months. I need you to look after him when he’s missing or hiding from me and when he wants to go off by himself. I just… need to know that he’s alright.”

_Chat Noir, you sneaky bastard_ , Félix thought. Adrien would obviously need to mysteriously leave and go transform to fight akumas and stuff, but damn. He assumed Gabriel would have figured it out by now. He was one of the most paranoid men that Félix knew, and somehow he wasn’t aware that there was a Miraculous holder living right under his roof. How ironic. 

“So what do you specifically want me to do?” Félix asked. 

“I want you to stay with him all the time. He hardly brings his phone anywhere when he goes out, which means I can’t tell where he is and I just want him safe.”

“So he’s not safe right now?” 

“Clearly not, seeing as there are constant akuma attacks near him and he’s never hiding with the others. I asked his teacher and she’s done an abysmal job of making sure her students are safe, the Dupain-Cheng girl goes missing quite a lot as well apparently.”

_Of course, because she's Ladybug_ , Félix wanted to say. But he didn't because then Plagg would have killed him. If Marinette didn't get to him first, she seemed like the kind of quietly creative girl who could think of a million different ways to torture someone. Wait, she and Adrien were in the same class. Ladybug and Chat Noir were literally in the same class. Oh, he had to get them together as superheroes or something. Maybe Marinette with Chat Noir. She would stop stuttering so much and Adrien would get to see how great she was. Félix was an utter genius. He so deserved to be paid, Adrien had no idea what weird stuff he would get into if Félix wasn't there to save his butt.

“So?” Gabriel asked expectantly, folding his arms. Félix realised he'd been silent for way too long. 

“Uh- yeah, sure, I’ll keep an eye on him,” Félix answered hastily. He wasn’t sure if there was anyone else who could, seeing as he was probably the only person who knew Adrien’s secret. 

“Good,” Gabriel replied with satisfaction. Then he got up, brushed his clothes, and left without so much as a ‘see you later’. Félix was ninety-five percent sure that Gabriel would never bother with such an informal tone, though. But never mind that. He had to talk to Adrien. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Félix knocked on his cousin’s bedroom door twice. He knew enough about how valuable sleep was to not disrupt Adrien too much during his. However, it was a matter of urgency and therefore, unfortunately, the sleep had to be sacrificed. Félix reminded himself that it was for a good cause, but nodded sadly to himself as he knocked again. “Adrien! Wake up!”

“Uh- yeah, sure, just give me a second!” Adrien called back. He was furiously trying to shove his shirt down. 

Plagg glanced at him in horror, then at the door, then back at him. “This is not good,” He whispered gravely to himself. 

Adrien glanced at him. “You think I don’t know that?” He asked sarcastically. 

“Alright, I’m coming in,” Félix called. Adrien tried his best to look natural, ‘casually’ leaning on his bed with one arm and tripping over a shoe that he’d left lying haphazardly on the floor. 

“What are you doing, Adrien?” Félix asked suspiciously. He’d known his cousin long enough to know that something was definitely up. 

“Huh? What are you talking about? Everything’s fine! I’m fine!” Adrien smiled almost cartoonishly wide. 

Félix narrowed his eyes. Behind his head, Plagg was panicking and wringing his hands (paws?) and pressing the, to his head, closing his eyes and refusing to listen to the conversation. He would have bumped into Félix’s head if Adrien hadn’t awkwardly ‘tripped’ and knocked Félix over with him. 

“What the hell?!” Félix demanded. “You’re acting way weirder than normal, plus your kwami is stressing me out.” He stared pointedly at Plagg, who widened his eyes and flew to Adrien nervously, wringing his hands again. 

“Well- the thing is-” Adrien looked down at his shirt for a split second. It was too late. 

Félix narrowed his eyes and his hands darted to Adrien’s shirt. He pulled the material up with his fist and exhaled quietly at the damage. He stayed quiet for a moment. “Shit, Adrien,” Félix finally said. “What the hell is that?”

Adrien sighed. “I don’t know, and neither does Plagg. I-I don’t know where it came from, or how it got there, or how fast it’s spreading, but I do know that it is spreading. It was about half the size fifteen minutes ago.”

Félix swore again. Then he turned on Plagg. “What do you know about this?” He asked aggressively, pointing an accusatory finger at the kwami. 

Plagg shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know much about it myself, but we were going to see-” His mouth suddenly foamed over with bubbles. “Ugh,” Plagg said in disgust, spitting them out. “I can’t actually say who it is or I’ll get sudsy again, and soap is not a great flavour. If you really want to, you can come along.”

Adrien looked to Félix, the silent question on his lips that he didn’t need to say aloud for Félix to understand. “Yeah, of course I’ll come,” Félix said immediately. Adrien looked immensely relieved. He didn’t want to go through this alone, excluding Plagg. He was a great companion and friend, but he struggled in the support and comfort department. 

“Then let’s go! Hurry up!” Plagg said happily, just as relieved as Adrien was that he wouldn’t have to be the one stroking his hair and all that icky stuff when he wanted a shoulder to cry on. Tikki was _way_ better at all the mushy, heartfelt stuff than he was. Plus, the kwami of destruction didn’t have much tune with emotions. Back in the old days (especially in the thirteenth century, hardly anything had happened then), he and Tikki would zoom around and just talk. Except when he talked, she would listen, and when she talked, he was thinking about cheese. But it all worked out because then Tikki would chase him for a few million kilometres and create a planet to burn off some energy. And then he would destroy it to irritate her. It always worked, so she would chase him, and then the cycle would start again. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Plagg led the way to Master Fu’s little salon. He and Adrien had met a couple of times before, but Adrien had no idea where he lived, so Plagg was stuck playing navigator from the inside of Adrien’s jacket, phasing his head through every now and then to check that they were going in the right direction. Plus, he thought it was hilarious when every so often a pedestrian would see an eye or two sticking out of a black lump in Adrien Agreste’s jacket. He had a great sense of humour (Tikki really didn’t agree).

Plagg didn’t feel like leading the way, nor did he feel like phasing through linen. He and Tikki tended not to phase through things wherever possible, because the object or material usually left a yucky taste behind, like dust or expired milk. Adrien’s expensive tailored shirt, however, was entirely unique; it tasted of unripe bananas. Plagg hadn’t had many bananas, except for when he’d mistaken them for strangely shaped cheese, but generally bananas made him wrinkle his nose. And that was when they were ripe. Suffice to say, Plagg very much wished to be on a remote supermarket somewhere in the Arctic, staring down an endless aisle of aged Camembert, with a dash of Gouda and Brie sprinkled in to give it some spice. He would have the most divine Smorgasbord in existence. However, it was not to be. The weather had taken a turn for the worse that morning, and as Plagg contemplated his deep resentment for whoever was to blame for his not being in the fantasy Arctic supermarket, it began to rain. Heavily. Plagg didn’t say anything aloud to make Adrien more miserable than he was, but in his head, Plagg was shouting very loudly at a gigantic piece of Brie that refused to be eaten. Bother all this. 

“Maybe we should take a raincheck,” Adrien offered weakly. 

Félix glared at him. “Nope. Plagg, which way do we go now?” 

Plagg’s hope was distinguished. “Left,” he grumbled. 

They continued on. “Now what?” Félix asked. 

“It’s the third door on the right,” Plagg managed. Oh, he really wanted some cheese. 

They entered the door as a sopping wet group; Félix’s tall head barely fit through the tiny door frame, but he crouched down and practically crawled through. They came into a small, green-walled room with two large, brown leather armchairs and a little table with a bowl of fruit on it. There were no windows, nor people. Adrien glanced around, shrugged, and sat down on one of the chairs. Félix looked warily at the other before stiffly sitting down. Plagg zoomed out of Adrien’s pocket. “Fu?” He called impatiently. “We’re here already, get your tiny butt out and help us, you sneak.”

Out of nowhere, a short Asian man with a little beard and large brown eyes came through the doorway, only reaching about half of Adrien’s height, holding a wooden tray that contained three cups on saucers and a large ceramic teapot with a strange blue pattern of a dragon. Adrien stood up immediately. “Master Fu!” He said, sounding relieved. “I’m so glad you’re here. We didn’t- Plagg told us where to go and I wasn’t sure that he-” 

“Please, I always tell the truth. Well, most of the time. And I’m an excellent navigator,” Plagg sniffed. 

“I was expecting you, Adrien,” Master Fu smiled wanly. “And you, Félix,” he continued, smiling to the surprised boy as well. “I do know, however, that you have some grave news to tell me.” His smile vanished and he set the tea tray down on the table gently. “Please,” he said, “have a cup. It will make you feel better.”

Adrien didn’t know where to start. “Master-” Félix smiled kindly at him. _It’s okay, Adrien. You’ll be okay_. Adrien swallowed and took a shaky breath. “This morning, I found a scar, or something, on my stomach, except it’s… black.” He lifted his shirt with trembling fingers. Master Fu looked at the mark for a long moment with wary eyes. He gently prodded it with an ancient-looking finger. “Do you feel anything?”

Adrien shook his head. “Should I? How bad is it?” He asked anxiously, only half-wanting to hear the answer. 

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life,” Master Fu said, looking puzzled. 

Plagg spoke up. “Fu - I think I know what it is, or sort of.” Three heads swung to face Plagg, who always liked attention but never liked the responsibility of telling people important things. “Um… I think it might be the dark kwamis.”

“But… no, that’s impossible…” Fu muttered, a crease in his brow. “They haven’t been heard of for centuries…”

“Well I’m telling you, and so far that’s the only lead you’ve got. That mark isn’t black, it’s indigo that’s so dark it looks black. That’s got créatures des ténèbres written all over it,” Plagg said sharply.

“I’m sorry, what?” Félix asked in confusion. “What are you talking about?” 

Adrien looked even more confused than he did. “What’s the ‘créatures des ténèbres’ thing?”

“Okay, kid, sit down. You’re not gonna like any of this, so keep quiet and you’ll understand,” Plagg said impatiently. Adrien sat back down too. 

Plagg sighed and stretched his neck before he began to speak. “Okay, so here’s the deal. Aeons ago, Tikki and I were make. Tikki’s the Ladybug kwami, just roll with it. Tikki is the kwami of creation, and I’m the kwami of destruction. We’re yin and yang, light and dark, et cetera, et cetera. I think you’ve seen another kwami before, Adrien?”

Adrien nodded. “I’ve seen Pollen, Queen Bee’s kwami.”

“Right,” Plagg nodded. “There’s also Wayzz. Wayzz!” He yelled suddenly. Adrien looked startled by the loud noise. 

A little green kwami came bobbing through the door holding a tiny thimble. He looked calm, if not slightly impatient. “Yes, Plagg?” he sighed. 

Plagg nodded. “Wayzz, meet Adrien and Félix. Félix and Adrien, meet Wayzz.” Plagg did jazz hands at Wayzz, who was ignoring him in favour of sipping his green tea from the thimble. Félix looked across at Master Fu, who was also sitting on an armchair opposite them that he wasn’t sure had been there before and was drinking his own cup of green tea. Wayzz settled down on the arm of Master Fu’s chair contentedly. 

Plagg cleared his throat. “As I was saying before Wayzz so rudely interrupted me,” Wayzz made a face at him, “Tikki and I are light and dark. If you’re not completely clueless you will have realized that she is light and I am dark. All the kwamis were created in our essence. Now, most people have no idea that kwamis exist. Out of the people who do, I’d say about 99.95% of them believe that there is only one type of kwami. They are completely and utterly wrong. Tikki’s essence is, essentially, light. My essence is darkness. Every kwami that any of you have ever seen, including Fu, are kwamis of Tikki’s essence. They are the kwamis of light. Kwamis of pride, bravery, joy, determination, empathy, kindness, yada yada yada. They were made to defend and fight against evil. Whereas the kwamis made in _my_ image are kwamis of darkness, or as I previously referred to them, créatures des ténèbres. They _are_ the evil. They were made separately and parallel to the light kwamis representing positive attributes, each one of my guys embodies an evil present in the universe. Greed, hatred, manipulation, lies, murder, violence, stuff like that. They’re basically demons, and they’re the core reason why the universe isn’t perfect. It’s, balance, you see. Can’t have anything good without anything bad. Can’t have light kwamis without dark kwamis.”

“Then why don’t more people know about them?” Félix asked. 

“They don’t like humans,” Plagg replied. “Humans are a mix of good and bad, and dark kwamis generally don’t like hanging around anything that’s not pure evil.”

“Sounds fun,” Félix remarked sarcastically. “I’m sure there are a bunch of purely evil rabbits wandering around, for sure.”

Plagg bared his fangs at Félix for half a second. “They basically only hang around with their own kind, which is why nobody has ever really seen them. There are legends, of course, because of the odd stray traveller who gets lost and stumbles upon a load of demons, which is a nice surprise, but nobody actually believes in them existing because they keep to themselves so much.”

“Then how the hell did one of them… infect me?” Adrien asked. 

“No idea,” Plagg shrugged. “One of them is probably active now, though.”

Master Fu jumped up. “You should have led with that!” He cried. 

Plagg was clueless. “Why?” 

“Because if one of them is on the loose we have to find a way to stop it, of course!” 

Plagg exhaled slowly and without excitement. “As long as I get Camembert before, during and after.” 

“Of course, Plagg,” Master Fu said with a twinkle in his eye. “Right! You two,” he pointed to Félix and Adrien, “should best be off to school now. I think you might be late. I’ll talk to you later, and inform Ladybug of these new events. She will want to be involved in defeating this dark kwami.”

Adrien looked at his watch and his eyes widened. “Oh, Uncle Gabe’s gonna be so mad at us.”

Félix smirked. “Not if I have anything to say about it, cuz.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! nanowrimo is going awesome and so I've been able to chug out an early chapter that was twice as long as the last, yay!  
> also happy april's fools!  
> so as i mentioned in the summary this chapter is completely lore and i will email myself about it so that i don't forget to keep mentioning it for the next ten chapters. hopefully. i really want to write plagg and tikki together (plus some ladynoir of course i never really got to use that dress) so i'm going to have that sometime soon and honestly i'm so excited like wAHHH tIKKI and pLAGG love them both so much anyway i'll stop rambling. hope you enjoyed it! bye!  
> ps. i'm trying to think of a cool nickname for dark kwamis and i can't think of anything. any ideas?


	21. Shakespeare’s Such A Hassle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette really doesn’t like group assignments.

Marinette hated the sound of her alarm. Most of the time she was in a deep enough sleep to go blissfully through it, but someone up there hated her today. She hit the offending alarm with an ungraceful arm and groaned loudly. 

“Tikki!” Marinette called. 

“Yes?” Tikki woke up in a haze of post-cookie-themed dreams. 

“Why is life so _annoying_?” Marinette whined. 

“Because you hate getting up early?” Tikki responded cheekily. 

Marinette groaned again.

“Marinette! Breakfast!” Tom yelled up the stairs. 

She could smell the faint scent of bacon and fresh bread coming through the open trapdoor. Scrambling up, she raced down the stairs towards the source and nearly crashed into Sabine, who was carrying a large tray of intricately-iced cupcakes. Marinette zeroed in on one particular cupcake as it teetered, wobbled and fell off the tray. She lunged for it as it descended to the ground and tripped over Sabine’s foot in the process. Stretching her arms forward, she managed to catch the troublesome cupcake in her hands before it splattered to an untimely death. 

“Watch where you’re going, dear!” Sabine gently scolded as she walked over Marinette’s body. “You can have that cupcake, if you want.”

“Thanks, Maman!” Marinette exclaimed, standing up to kiss Sabine on the cheek. “You’re the best.”

“Actually, I’m the best,” Tom pouted, flipping pancakes high and making a show of catching them. “I made pancakes!”

“Oh, thanks, Papa!” Marinette grinned as Tom served up a large portion of carbohydrates on her plate. It included four pancakes, a couple of rashers of bacon, a fried egg and a strawberry macaron. Despite the impressive size of her meal, Marinette managed to eat it all in twenty minutes. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette walked to school in a very good mood, the lack of space in her belly giving her a good reason to be smug when she saw Chloe pulling up outside the school in her huge black limousine. 

“Dupain-Cheng!” Chloe barked. 

“Yes, Chloe?” Marinette answered cheerily. Not even Chloe could ruin her good mood today. Her Papa’s macarons were too powerful. 

“Out of my personal bubble,” Chloe snapped. 

Marinette stared dubiously. She was twenty metres away. “I wasn’t aware that your personal bubble was the size of your house.”

“I’m sure it’s much bigger than yours, at least,” Chloe scoffed. Marinette wondered why she was in such a bad mood. Maybe her breakfast hadn’t been up to scratch. Ignoring her last comment, Marinette trotted onwards into class. 

She found a spot waiting for her next to a nearly vibrating Alya; clearly something eventful had happened. Probably some new scoop or article. 

“Girl!” Alya squealed as Marinette got closer. “You will not believe what happened!”

“What?” 

“Lila gave me an interview on the weekend about her and Ladybug, so I put it on the Ladyblog and it got half a million hits!”

“Wow! That’s amazing, Al!” Marinette’s mood was slightly soured now. She would bet on that liar spreading all kinds of things about Ladybug and her, the little rat. After the debacle with Chloe’s presentation, Lila was wormed her way back in the class’ good graces with her crocodile tears and her “I just wanted to be liked”. Lila was one of the very few people that Marinette absolutely could not stand to be nice to. She was just too much of a snake. She didn’t know what Alya saw in her. 

“Anyway, how have you been, girl?” Alya smiled. 

“I’ve been working on my latest commission from Jagged, which so far is going pretty well,” Marinette replied. She had gathered the fabrics on the weekend, done a rough sketch and was almost ready to start sewing. She just had to check in with him to see if the design concept was alright. 

“Cool! You can ask Lila for some advice with that too, she knows heaps about it from her trip in Italy with Audrey Bourgeois.” Marinette found Alya’s comment entirely unhelpful, especially given that she was the one who had been offered to go on a trip to New York with Mme Bourgeois. 

“Yeah, I might think about that,” Marinette replied monotonously, scowling inwardly. _As if._

Adrien came in at that moment with Nino, his eyes lighting up when he noticed Marinette. “Hey, Marinette!” He waved enthusiastically. 

“Oh no,” Alya muttered. “Keep it together, girl.”

“Um- h-hi, Adrien!” Marinette waved aggressively. “It’s uh- it’s good to see you!” Adrien gave her an award-winning smile and kept chatting rapidly with Nino about the upcoming Ultimate Mecha Strike V movie. 

“Bro, do you think we can pre book tickets?” Nino wondered. 

“Totally, dude, they’ll have them online,” Adrien replied. “Should we go on the premiere day or a bit later? It might be less busy.”

“Nah, bro, premiere’s way better,” Nino said self-assuredly. “Plus, sometimes they have themed popcorn. They literally dye it green, bro, it’s totally rad.”

Alya raised an eyebrow at Marinette. Marinette nodded furiously. Alya waited for a moment for a. Real in the conversation and saw her opportunity. “Hey, boys, that sounds like fun. Can we girls come too?” One bat of her eyelashes at Nino and the answer didn’t even need to be said. He was a total goner. 

“Sure! The more, the merrier!” Adrien smiled his bubbly smile again and Marinette felt herself becoming faint. Alya noticed and squeezed her wrist. 

“Don’t die on me now, girl, we came too far to fall,” Alya whispered in Marinette’s ear. Marinette willed herself to stay strong in the face of Adrien. But damn, it was difficult. 

“Can we come too?” Kim piped up. 

“Yeah, Ultimate Mecha Strike is the best,” Max added. 

“That sounds awesome! Count me in!” Ivan said. Myléne nodded as well. 

“Can I come?” Nathaniel asked quietly. He turned a bit pink when Marinette turned around to look at him. 

“Of course, dudes, you can all come!” Nino pumped a fist in the air. 

“Yeah! I’ll bring popcorn!” Alix whooped. 

“Sounds half-decent, I’ll mark it in my calendar,” Félix said boredly. Uncle Gabe and his annoying schemes were ruining his social life. And by social life, he meant books and baked goods 

“I’ll be at home doing actual interesting things and the shopping,” Chloe boasted. Nobody was really listening. She huffed and preened her nails. 

“Would it be alright if I came too?” Lila asked in a sickly sweet voice, staring directly at Marinette. Marinette gritted her teeth. She’d take an akuma over Lila any day. That is, unless Lila was the akuma. Then Hawkmoth could rule Paris for all she cared. 

“Sure, Lila!” Adrien said happily. Marinette sighed, and for once it wasn’t out of lovesickness. Lila was so infuriating. And now instead of a small, quiet get-together with her friends, she would have to try and balance keeping Lila away from Adrien and trying to act normal around him herself, which was already a challenge when the liar wasn’t here making snide passive-aggressive comments that everybody else would always overlook. 

“Class, sit down.” Mme Bustier came in, carrying a clipboard and a flower-patterned stapler. “Today we’re going to be studying Shakespeare.” 

The class erupted into whispers. Mme Bustier couched loudly to get their attention. “Now, for the next two weeks you are going to be doing a project, which I will explain to you shortly. Can anyone tell me how many plays Shakespeare has written?”

Ivan put his hand up. “Six?”

“No,” Mme Bustier said gently, “a little bit more than that.”

Kim put his hand up. “Five hundred?” The class laughed. 

“I like your enthusiasm, Kim, but unfortunately not quite that many.”

“Fifty?” Nino asked.

“Nearly there! Just a little bit less.”

“Didn’t he write about forty?” Adrien asked. 

Mme Bustier smiled. “Yes! Just under forty, although it isn’t certain exactly how many plays he wrote. Forty is a lot, though, considering he only spent a couple of decades as a playwright and died when he was only fifty-three years old.”

“My dad’s fifty-three!” Kim exclaimed, horrified, and the class burst out into laughter again. 

Mme Bustier smiles gently. “Kim, please be quiet.” Max sniggered. 

“As I was saying, Shakespeare has written many different plays, and so for this assignment you are going to be studying one of Shakespeare’s plays and re-enacting a scene yourself. You will be looking at the themes and techniques that Shakespeare uses in his plays and in a few weeks, the entire year group will be going on a Shakespeare-themed excursion!”

There was a mixture of cheers and groans at this. It was an excursion, yay, but they probably had to analyse it, boo. Besides, most of the rowdy teens in Mme Bustier’s class were altogether uninterested in classic English plays. 

Alya raised her hand. “Mme, how big will the groups be for the assignment?”

“You’ll be in pairs.” Alya leaned back in satisfaction, winking at Marinette in the corner of her eye. “But I’m going to be deciding who’s with who. I can’t have a fiasco like the last assignment was.” Alya’s expression went from content to horrified. Marinette’s eyes widened at the memory of their most recent assignment. They were studying Napoleon Bonaparte for History, and they were in groups to do a research project on the French Revolution. Alix had gone with Max and Kim, and they had done a huge presentation that involved water guns, paintballs, party cannons and outlandish costumes that might be mistaken by a very drunk person for military costumes. Mme Bustier, after wiping yellow paint off her face and coat, was not happy. 

Marinette realised that the lack of choice meant that she might be paired with Adrien! Her thoughts took a turn for the worse as she contemplated being paired with Chloe or Sabrina. The last time she’d been with Sabrina, it hadn’t been pretty. Sabrina had tried to take all the work herself and ended up resenting Marinette because she had started doing all her homework and school stuff. One time she had snuck in Marinette’s house on the weekend and cleaned her room and did the washing. Eventually, Sabrina was angry at Marinette for ‘taking advantage of her goodwill’ and had gone right back to being Chloe’s servant. Marinette was quite happy doing her own work, thank you very much. 

“Can we at least write a top three?” Lila asked, smiling sickly-sweet. 

“I’m sorry, Lila, I simply can’t have the same madness as last term. I will make sure that nobody is with the people they sit next to, though. I want everybody to work responsibly.”

Marinette paled at the thought that she might be forced to work with Lila. Lila seemed to have the same realisation and glanced at her in terror. 

“Now, I’m going to be deciding the pairs in the next few days based on who works well with each other and who works responsibly. Be careful not to be too loud with friends,” she looked pointedly at Alix, Max and Kim, “and I might put you with a friend, so be on your best behaviour!”

Marinette panicked. She had to be with Alya. If she was with Lila, one of them was bound to ‘accidentally’ murder the other. 

“Hey, Marinette, we should study with Nino and Adrien. That way at least we’ll be with friends,” Alya suggested. 

“But then won’t Adrien see what a complete klutz I am?” Marinette whispered frantically. 

“No, because I’ll be there if you say anything and I might be paired with Nino!”

Marinette thought over it. “Okay, I’ll bite. You’re the one asking them, though.”

“Of course, girl!” Alya replied, then turned around in her seat. “Nino!” She whispered. 

“Yeah, Alya?” Nino whispered back. 

“Can Marinette and I study with you and Adrien? If we can’t partner up with the people next to us, we can still partner with friends.” She winked suggestively. 

Nino grinned. “Oh, right. That makes heaps of sense. Adrien!” He nudged Adrien in the shoulder. 

Adrien looked up from his notebook. “Yeah?”

“Us and the girls are gonna study together, that alright with you, bud?”

“Sure, sounds fun,” Adrien said, smiling softly at Marinette. From the corner, Félix took out his phone to capture the star struck look on Marinette’s face. 

Marinette decided to stay silent and not risk unintelligible noises coming out. Her eyes were wide and her cheeks pink as she managed a minute smile for Adrien. 

“So, shall we get together at someone’s house tonight?” Alya asked. 

“Sure, you guys can come over to mine! It’s got plenty of space, and we can play video games together after!” Adrien said. 

“Awesome, bro. I’ll be there at five?” Nino asked. Adrien nodded happily. 

“S-sure, sounds good,” Marinette said in a high-pitched voice. She was going to be at Adrien’s _house_. This was bad. Oh, she was going to make a total mess of herself! _Come on Marinette, pull it together_ , a little voice that sounded like Alya said in her head. _You’ve got this, girl_. 

“Great! See you then!” Alya said. She elbowed Marinette again and muttered: “Gurl, this is gonna be so much fun! You get to hang out with Adrien and I can hang out with Nino! I’ll team up with Nino for video games and leave you with you-know-who,” Alya giggled. 

“Yeah, sure,” Marinette murmured, feeling slightly queasy. This was going to be a disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! I’m writing this on my mobile and it’s so bothersome because autocorrect is either ignoring the mistakes I make or making it present tense which is the WORST. Nanowrimo is going really well so far and I’m pretty on top of things and I already have most of the next chapter written, but I’m going to wait a few days anyway because having backup chapters is the best :)  
> edit: I actually have no idea what I’m doing because I already exposed Lila? Now she’s back and I really need to keep track of what’s going on


	22. The Balance Of The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter (at least the second part, the first half is G) is rated M? Or PG? Idk but there’s a couple of swear words and a heck lot of shade being thrown, and I probably need to do a trigger warning just in case. POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING!!! 
> 
> But don’t worry the first half is just fluff and blushy stuff

Lunchtime at the Dupain-Cheng Patisserie

“Maman, is it okay if I go with some friends to study at their house?” Marinette asked through a mouthful of fresh bread. 

“Sure, sweetie. Whose house is it?” Sabine asked. 

“Uh- it’s Adrien’s,” Marinette’s face burned. 

Sabine had a glint in her eye. “Ah, right, Adrien. Remind me what he looks like again?”

Marinette coughed. “W-well, he has really nice green eyes, he has amazing golden hair that looks unbelievably soft, he has a beautiful smile and he always smells of vanilla-” She stopped herself when she saw her mother laughing quietly. “Aw, Maman, don’t tease me,” Marinette groaned. 

“I just think it’s lovely that you like this boy. He sounds wonderful.” And by the sounds of him, Sabine had very high hopes for her future grandchildren. 

Marinette shoved another piece of toast in her mouth so she wouldn’t have to reply. 

~~~~~~~~~~

“Dude! Welcome to the house!” Adrien fistbumped Nino on his way in. Alya followed close behind, marveling at all the expensive artworks decorating the sparse entry hall. 

“Marinette’s late, but she’ll be here in a minute,” Alya said. 

~~~~~~~~~~  
Meanwhile at the Dupain-Cheng Pattisserie

“Tikki! Oh my gosh I’m going to die I can’t be actually going to Adrien’s _house_ , what do I say to him, what if I accidentally confess my undying love for him and he thinks that I’m a creepy weirdo and puts a restraining order on me and I won’t ever become a successful designer because I’ll be in _jail_!”

“Marinette. Listen to me,” Tikki commanded. Marinette looked at her with a panicky expression and hands clutching her head. “You are Marinette Dupain-Cheng. You are one of the strongest people I know. You are Ladybug. You can do anything, including going to Adrien’s house. Is Adrien nice or not?”

Marinette nodded meekly. Tikki held her head up with conviction. “Then he will not put a restraining order on you and you will not go to jail, alright?”

“Thanks, Tikki,” Marinette smiled. 

_Ding! Ding! Ding!_

Marinette reached for her buzzing phone. “Oh, crap,” she muttered. She held the phone up to her ear. “Hey, Alya!” 

“Marinette, where are you? Nino and I are already at Adrien’s house,” Alya said. 

“I- I’m still at home,” Marinette admitted sheepishly. “I’ll be there in five minutes, though!” 

Alya laughed. “Alright, girl, I’ll cover you. See you in five.”

Marinette hung up and shoved her shoes on aggressively to distract her from further panic over going to Adrien’s house. 

“It’s okay, Marinette, be calm,” Tikki tried to put Marinette’s nervousness at bay, but Marinette was still very much stressed. “You’ll only be there for a couple of hours, what could go wrong?” 

Marinette decided to ignore that last comment, because she was sure that a lot could definitely go wrong, and grabbed her bag. “Come on, Tikki, let's get this over with.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, girl!” Alya welcomed Marinette with a wave. Marinette was too gobsmacked by the giant room to reply. Jeez, Adrien had so much stuff. The last time she’d been here as Ladybug, she hadn’t had time to take it in, but now she was able to stop for a minute and just absorb it, she realised all the stuff he had. There was a basketball hoop, a rock climbing wall, a pool table, a giant bed, a desk with five huge computers on it, a foosball table and a zip line. Marinette marvelled at everything while Alya dragged her over to the sofa where Adrien and Nino were sitting with their books. 

“Hey, Marinette!” Adrien smiled at her. Marinette went pink and stayed silent, waving a little. She sat down next to Alya. 

“Okay, Marinette, we’ve decided to study Romeo and Juliet for the research part. I didn’t want to, but Alya is scarily convincing,” Nino laughed. 

Alya glared at her boyfriend. “Hey! I am not scary!”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, babe,” Nino replied coolly, winking and pecking her on the cheek. “Just kidding, you know you’re awesome.” This time it was Alya’s turn to blush. 

Adrien cleared his throat. “So while you two are flirting and whatnot, do you mind if Marinette and I get on with the project?”

“Sure dude, sounds good,” Nino said. Alya nudged him playfully. 

“No, no, we’ll work. I’ll look at the marking criteria with Nino and figure out what we need to do, and you and Marinette can research some basic facts and statistics about Romeo and Juliet, right, Marinette?”

Marinette was extremely red. “Uh- okay! Me! With Adrien! Sounds like- like fun!” Adrien smiled at her again. _I’m doomed_ , Marinette thought. 

“Can’t be too hard, right?” Adrien said. 

Marinette nodded mutely, opening her notepad and pulling out her pen, putting the tip to the paper and watching in horror as, in one fell swoop, all of the ink came out in a rush. “Ah, shit,” Marinette swore. Then she went red again. “I mean- Uh- I didn’t mean to swear, I- I’m sorry!”

“That’s okay, Marinette,” Adrien laughed. “Félix swears all the time, it’s fine.” 

Marinette raised an eyebrow. 

“When my father isn't around, I mean,” Adrien explained. “He’d get into so much trouble if Father overheard him.”

“I bet he would,” Marinette muttered, knowing just how much patience those two would have with each other. They’d be two people who were completely unused to not getting their own way. Félix would be slightly better, but he would be even more stubborn and strong-willed. Marinette didn’t think that she would want to see those two fighting, it would probably end in world war three. 

Then she realised her dilemma with the pen. The large ink blot had soaked right through all the pages, meaning that taking notes on it would be nearly impossible. Marinette looked up nervously. “Adrien?”

“Yes, Marinette?” 

“Could I use- or could we share- I mean, not share, but- my notepad is basically useless now, could I share yours?” Marinette worried her lower lip. 

“Of course, Marinette!” Adrien moved closer so that their knees were touching. Marinette felt faint. He sat his notepad so that it was half resting on his legs and half resting on hers. Marinette willed herself to stay strong. 

“I’ll- I’ll find some stuff about Shakespeare’s early life, then, shall I?” Marinette wasn’t aware of anything but the butterflies having a party in her stomach, but she managed to keep a calm facade and pulled out her phone to search up “how to not be nervous around your crush”.

Adrien got put his own phone, taking a few seconds to sigh at his Ladybug screensaver before shaking his head and researching Shakespeare’s early life. 

After a few minutes, Marinette stopped trying to follow the confusing steps that told her to ‘just be herself’ and ‘go for it’ because she wasn’t blind enough to believe that she, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, would ever go for it. No. However, she was perfectly willing to attempt any number of complicated plans that _might_ (this being the key word) help prompt a ‘date’ of sorts with Adrien along. So far, none of her many plans had worked, but never give up in the face of failure, right?

~~~~~~~~~~

Lila marched into the classroom, sat down at the first seat she saw and began to scribble furiously at her book. That stupid Marinette girl and that dumb reporter Alya were getting in the way of her plans with Adrien. If they were going to be together, she had to get Marinette out of the picture. She was currently brainstorming some ideas for how to manipulate Marinette into doing her bidding and scrawling them down in the margins of her book when Chloe rudely interrupted her. 

“Uh, that’s my seat. Get out of it.” She waves a freshly-manicured hand in Lila’s face. Lila winced at the strong perfume emanating from her wrist. 

“Can’t you just sit somewhere else? I’m busy.” She dismissed Chloe apathetically, turning her face back to her book. There was nobody else in the classroom yet, it was too early. Lila didn’t have to pretend to be nice to this annoying girl buzzing in her face. Besides, Chloe was nearly as fake as she was. The only difference was that she was rich and got everything because of her suck-up daddy, while Lila was slaving away by herself with absentee parents to make herself known to others. Chloe never had to face the harsh reality of life. Lila had, and she had decided that she was going to opt out and make up her own reality. 

“Oh, I don’t think so. Get. Out.” Chloe went from a fake smile to a snarl, and grabbed Lila’s shoulder. 

Lila scowled and shoved her off. “Just go away.”

“No can do, liar,” Chloe drew out the last word on purpose. 

Lila’s shoulders tensed. “And what on earth would you be talking about there, hmm?” She turned on the sweet smile. “I never lie.”

Chloe snorted. “Yeah, right. You’ve got the entire class wrapped around your finger, and everyone but Marinette is willing to bend themselves over backwards for you. I have no idea how they managed to forgive after my… presentation. It’s the only thing that I’d ever agree with her on. You’re a complete phony.”

“At least I’m making my own life,” Lila sneered, dropping the act. “You’re just some snob who gets her own way because of her father’s political standing and doesn’t know how to be nice to people.”

“Don’t you dare speak about me like that,” Chloe hissed lowly, taking a step towards her and prodding her finger at Lila. “I am Queen Bee. I’m a superhero. You have built your entire life on lies. You have achieved nothing. You never will.”

“Now look, it’s the pot calling the kettle black!” Lila laughed in derision. “You’ve never achieved anything fairly. You’ve never done anything without cheating, bribing, lying. You’re just as bad as I am.”

Chloe’s eyes grew wide and filled with fury. “You take that back!” She yelled, slapping Lila across her face. 

Lila faltered, her cheeks stinging and now sporting a red handprint. Her expression grew cold. “You little bitch,” she growled, pushing Chloe back and balling her fist up, aiming the shot square in Chloe’s jaw. “Don’t think you can talk to me like that.”

Chloe looked stunned from the impact, her eyes scrunching up tightly and holding tears in. She could taste blood. 

“I’ll make sure you never want to show your face again,” Lila said. “You won’t have anyone there. Your life will dissolve before your eyes. You’ll regret the day you were ever born.”

“Don’t even try, Lila Rossi,” a new voice came from the doorway. Completely cool, calm and unperturbed by the fight happening right in front of her eyes. “Your lies end now,” Marinette smirked, holding up her cell phone and grinning. And what the hell was going on with her outfit?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Lila Rossi come at me.  
> Lol just kidding but wow, it felt good to write that. I’ve got Marinette’s POV for the next chapter to see what happens (also new outfit asdgfhs) and somehow I’m already up to chapter 24 and the feeling of being so prepared is the greatest thing ever. Hope you enjoy!


	23. Exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alas, a filler chapter. forgive meeeee

Marinette woke up again with a sense of determination. She would get to school early for the first time in her life. Granted, there were rare occasions where she was on time (getting to school before the minutes of the bell counted as on time, right?) but she had never, _ever_ been early. Besides, she had to figure out what the hell she was going to do about the whole Adrien thing. Maybe she would tell him she had a crush on him? She brushed the idea off immediately, that was too dumb. Maybe she could try and go on a date with him, or casually suggest a one-on-one study session? Nah, too forward. Either way, she had to get to school early so that she could sort out her sorry mess of a brain and think about what to say to Adrien. She had to come up with topics of conversation, after all. Marinette had never really had a full-on crush before Adrien, so she didn’t know what the social protocol was regarding casualness between “friends”. And she was in the friend zone, so that was probably a complete other category. 

Marinette put most of her energy (she didn’t have much at seven o’clock in the morning) into opening her eyes and slowly but surely rolling out of bed. Physically rolling. She fell onto the floor with a small _thump_ and scrunched her nose up in annoyance at the fact that she was now more up close and personal with her bedroom floor than she had ever been before. Marinette raised her head so that she could sit her chin on the floor and be slightly less uncomfortable. It didn’t work out very well. She rolled over into her back and stared at her ceiling for a second, closing her eyes and wishing that she was still in bed. Then Adrien’s face came into her mind. Perfect, innocent Adrien. Marinette was willing to sacrifice a bit of sleep (it physically pained her to think about this) for the love of her life. 

She sat up properly and leaned for her phone, groaning at the time and wiping her face with a limp hand. Marinette wanted to go back to sleep desperately, but she pulled through and dragged some clothes on and slumped through her bedroom to put her hair into her signature pigtails and maybe put some makeup on so she looked a little bit less like the Loch Ness monster. 

“Tikki, why don’t I do this more often? Being early is great,” Marinette remarked. 

“Really? Am I the only one who remembers you rolling out of bed and falling on the floor because you didn’t have the willpower to get up using your very much functional arms,” Tikki answered flatly. 

“Yeah, but rolling onto the floor is an extremely effective way of waking myself up,” Marinette defended herself. “Also, let’s be real, I would never use my arms to get out of bed. It’s so boring and uncreative.”

“Uh huh. You nearly done?” Tikki asked.

Marinette was just slipping on a new jacket that she had recently finished - it was one of the sketches that she had brought to Jagged Stone that he hadn’t wanted, but she really liked it so she had made it for herself. It was a navy blue blazer with a flowery pink pattern snaking down from her left shoulder to her waist. Marinette was wearing a white top underneath and a pair of jeans to go with the new vibe. She fiddled with her hair a bit more. “Do you think I should tie it up in a bun, Tikki?”

“Wouldn’t that make you look too business-y?” Tikki frowned. 

Marinette tilted her head. “I suppose. I don’t feel like wearing to in my pigtails, though. What should I do?”

“You could always try wearing it down?” Tikki suggested. 

“Actually, that doesn’t sound too bad,” Marinette smiled. She took out the elastics and placed them in her purse, just in case. She looked at herself in the mirror again. “Hey, I look pretty good!”

“Of course you do, you always look good!” Tikki chirped. “We should get to school before you’re not early anymore, though, it’ll ruin the dramatic entrance.”

“You’re right,” Marinette nodded, taking the purse as Tikki sat herself down on the little pillow inside that Marinette had made especially so that she wouldn’t be uncomfortable. There were also a couple of macarons if Tikki was hungry, but sometimes she ate them just because they were there and she couldn’t help herself. 

Marinette breezed past her parents, who were busy baking ahead of the morning rush, and smiled to herself as they looked up in surprise at her new outfit. “Bye Maman! Bye Papa!” She called. 

She strolled down to College Francoise-Dupont, waving at random strangers on the street and helping an old couple cross the road. Marinette felt like she could do anything. _Wow, this blazer is awesome._

Enjoying the silence in the school that she usually knew to be jam-packed with people, Marinette furrowed her eyebrows when she overheard two angry voices. She shared a worried look with Tikki when she noticed that it was coming from her classroom. _What’s going on?_

Marinette tiptoed silently towards the noise, straining her ears to catch bits of the conversation. She peeked through the window and was shocked to find Chloe and Lila standing there, each looking as though the other had murdered their family. 

“Yeah, right. You’ve got the entire class wrapped around your finger, and everyone but Marinette is willing to bend themselves over backwards for you. I have no idea how they managed to forgive you after my… presentation. It’s the only thing that I’d ever agree with her on. You’re a complete phony,” Chloe said. Marinette’s eyes widened. _Chloe agrees with me one something?!_. Made sense that it was about Lila. She slowly pulled out her phone and pressed record. Something told her that this was going to be big. 

“At least I’m making my own life. You’re just some snob who gets her own way because of her father’s political standing and doesn’t know how to be nice to people.” Marinette winced. Damn, that was a low blow. 

“Don’t you dare speak about me like that,” Chloe said angrily, raising a pointed finger at her. “I am Queen Bee. I’m a superhero. You have built your entire life on lies. You have achieved nothing. You never will.”

“Now look, it’s the pot calling the kettle black!” Lila laughed. Marinette knew it wasn’t in good humour. “You’ve never achieved anything fairly. You’ve never done anything without cheating, bribing, lying. You’re just as bad as I am.”

Chloe looked livid. “You take that back!” She yelled, slapping Lila with a resounding _thwack_ that Marinette also winced at. Maybe she should step in? She looked down at Tikki for confirmation. 

The little kwami shook her head urgently. “We need more proof,” she whispered. “If we storm in now, she’ll only be in a bit of trouble. Remember the last time someone tried to expose her? Wait it out until we’ve got damning evidence.” Marinette felt bad about letting Chloe and Lila tear each other's throats out, but she trusted Tikki. She was several thousand years old, after all. 

Lila fell back, her cheeks red. Marinette could see the outline where Chloe’s fingers had gone. “You little bitch,” she snarled. She pushed Chloe back and made a fist, hitting right on Chloe’s cheekbone. Marinette let a tense breath of air whoosh out. “Don’t think you can talk to me like that.”

Chloe looked like crap, her face red and her eyes wet, and Marinette could tell that she was close to falling apart. _Oh, I should really go in. I’ll just wait for the right moment-_

Lila took a step forward, smirking at Chloe. “I’ll make sure you never want to show your face again. You won’t have anyone there. Your life will dissolve before your eyes. You’ll regret the day you were ever born.” 

Marinette shook her head. She couldn’t wait and watch this unfold. Lila was too evil for her to just stand by and watch, she had to do something. She stood in the doorway and told herself to be confident. 

“Don’t even try, Lila Rossi. Your lies end now.” Marinette held up her phone like a trophy. Chloe just stared at her in disbelief. Lila looked absolutely gobsmacked. Marinette grinned in triumph. Lila Rossi’s reign of terror was finally over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just found another plot hole and now I’m thinking I need to reread the entire fic but I don’t want to because (1) it’s like 60k words and (2) reading your own writing (at least for me) is like listening to your own voice on a video. it sounds so cringeworthy.  
> Next chapter will be up in 5 days and it will NOT be filler and we’ll finally get somewhere, thank god
> 
> happy holidays! (I think? I have holidays now, dunno about everyone else)
> 
> ps. Should I watch toy story 4?


	24. Principal's Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> literally have no idea what i'm doing and the wifi didn't let me update so it's a bit late BUT the next chapter is longer, yay, and there's an akuma! double yay!

“I decided to try something new. I suggest you two do it as well,” Marinette said. She could see the rest of the class streaming in, and her cellphone told her that it was ten minutes before the school bell rang. She marched to the principal’s office, Lila and Chloe got on her tail. Marinette had enough mercy to get them in trouble when it wasn’t in front of the entire class. 

“Marinette! Wait!” Lila gasped, running up to her side. “Don’t do this to me! I’ll give you whatever you want - it doesn’t have to end this way!”

“I’m afraid it does,” Marinette said grimly. 

Lila’s mouth turned downwards at the corners. She grabbed Marinette’s wrist. “Let me rephrase that. I won’t let you do this. Give me your phone.”

Chloe jogged up and pushed Lila off her. “Leave her, you loser. Besides, we’re going to get in trouble anyway - might as well just face the consequences.”

Marinette looked at her in surprise. Maybe Chloe really had changed for the better. She seemed to be looking her problems in the face, which was an improvement in itself. Hopefully Chloe would try being nice to people too. She kept walking, rapping on the big mahogany door with her closed knuckle. 

“Come in,” a voice called.

Marinette opened the door to Mr Damocles, who was sitting in his chair in the way someone would if they were doing something stupid and had to act casual. Marinette could also see a glimpse of his owl mask hidden under his jacket. She stifled a giggle. “Excuse me, Mr Damocles, I’m reporting two students, Lila Rossi and Chloe Bourgeois.” The girls trailed in behind her. Lila looked like she was going to murder someone. They both stood in silence as Marinette showed the video from her phone to Mr Damocles, and after it had finished, the room was silent. You could have heard a pin drop. 

“Chloe Bourgeois, I’m suspending you for two weeks for violating our no-bullying policy in a clear act of violence,” Mr Damocles eventually said. “Lila Rossi, I’m calling your parents to see if they know anything about this lying business.” 

Lila paled. “No, Mr Damocles, they’re on holiday, they won’t- ”

“Hello Mme Rossi, I’m Mr Damocles, the principal of College Francoise-Dupont. I’m here to talk to you about your daughter. Were you aware of her lying problem?” 

A long while later, Mr Damocles down the phone. “Well, Lila, do you have anything to say for yourself?” 

Lila immediately put on her puppy-dog act, blabbering about how guilty she was but how it was taken out of context, when Mr Damocles held up a finger to silence her. “Alright, that’s enough. Mlle Dupain-Cheng, could you please explain?”

“Gladly. Lila has been lying from the moment she got here. She told everyone that she had a disability so that she could sit in the front, she claimed that her wrist was broken so that everyone could carry all her stuff around, she threatened me in the bathroom and told me that she would turn all my friends against me!”

“Actually, I can vouch for that last one,” Chloe jumped in. Marinette looked confused. Chloe rolled her eyes. “What? I knew she was up to no good, so I followed them to the bathroom and overheard the whole thing. It was totally over-the-top, you should not have tried to go against Dupain-Cheng. That was seriously dumb.” She directed the last part at Lila, who was fuming. 

“Fine, I threatened Marinette,” Lila said finally. “The other stuff is true as well. What’s my punishment?” She asked, feigning boredness and examining her nails. 

Mr Damocles glared at her. “According to your mother, you’ve been lying to her as well, about your spotty school attendance. You had large chunks of time when you were unaccounted for, you make outlandish claims about your wellbeing and friends to manipulate the people around you. You haven’t mentioned lying to your classmates and your mother had no idea until our conversation. I’m afraid that at Francoise-Dupont, we simply do not tolerate this kind of behaviour. You are hereby expelled.”

Lila’s eyes snapped to the peeved principal. “What? I did barely anything wrong?” She yelled. “I’ve been slaving away here and this is what I get? Expelled? You can’t do this!”

“Please leave the school grounds,” Mr Damocles said seriously. 

“Fine! I will!” Lila raged. “Keep your crap school, I never liked it anyway! You two losers were always a thorn in my side,” she said to Marinette and Chloe. “I can’t believe you’re expelling me! You can all go f*ck off!”

“Leave, Mlle Rossi.” 

Lila slammed the door behind her with a deafening bang. Chloe whistled. “Wow. That was intense.”

“You can go home too, Mlle Bourgeois,” Mr Damocles said tiredly. 

“Sure, whatever. See you around, Dupain-Cheng. Guess you aren’t too terrible after all.” Chloe swung the door with significantly less force. 

Mr Damocles gave a small smile to Marinette. “Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Mlle Dupain-Cheng. You’ve done a good job.” 

“It’s alright, Mr Damocles. Any good person would do the same,” Marinette said lightly, following Chloe’s direction and letting the door click softly behind her. 

She walked back to the classroom with a weight lifted off her chest. The rest of the class were eagerly awaiting her return, and Marinette could see them all whispering to each other. When she entered her room, they all broke out. “What happened Marinette?!”

“We saw Chloe and Lila leaving the principal's office. Are they in trouble?”

“Did Chloe punch her?” Kim asked with excitement. Marinette raised her eyebrows at him. “I wouldn’t put it past her,” he mumbled. 

“Everything’s fine,” Marinette laughed. “Except there were some stuff you guys didn’t know about… Lila was lying. About pretty much everything she said.”

The class burst in outrage. “What?” 

“What do you mean she was lying?”

“What are you talking about, Marinette?” Alya asked. 

Marinette looked at all of them. “She doesn't have tinnitus. She didn’t have a broken wrist. She wasn’t with Prince Ali, or Jagged Stone, or any of the celebrities she mentioned. She just…” Marinette sighed. “Nothing she told you was true.”

Alya was quiet. “So you were telling the truth. I- I’m sorry, Marinette. I didn’t believe you. I was a bad friend.”

“I forgive you, Alya,” Marinette said sincerely, hugging her. “You didn’t mean any harm.”

“I’m sorry for believing that she saved my eye,” Max spoke up, looking troubled. “I wasn’t sure if a napkin really could have gouged my eye out, but my mother always tells me to say thank you. So thank you, Marinette, for showing us the truth.”

“Yeah, thanks, Marinette! That was really chill of you!” Kim said. 

Rose went up and hugged Marinette, who was still hugging Alya, and then Nino joined with an “I’m really sorry about that, dude” and before she knew it, there were a bunch of people hugging Marinette. And even she, a major hug-lover, was not used to this many hugs. Especially Ivan, who was wrapping his big arms around everyone. 

Félix stayed a safe distance away from the group, content to watch their mushy display of love and friendship from over her, thank you very much. Adrien was sitting in his seat as well, and Félix noticed that he looked extremely guilty. _Poor kid_ , he thought. _A bit dumb, but I still feel sorry for him_. Adrien looked over at him and Félix nodded meaningfully like the wise old owl that he was. 

“Tell them,” Félix said out of the corner of his mouth. “You’ll feel way better if you just get it out.”

Adrien looked a bit anxious, but he cleared his throat. “Um- sorry- I… I sorta knew about Lila.”

The class unpeeled themselves from Marinette to gape at him. “Knew about her lying?” Mylene asked in shock. 

“Yeah. I didn’t know she was really harming anyone so I let her be… I’m really sorry,” Adrien said, looking into Marinette’s eyes. 

Marinette didn’t look angry. She didn’t really feel angry. Marinette was (sometimes) a practical person, and she knew that there was no use crying over spilt milk (although she often forgot and wailed over the milk anyway). She was also a very forgiving person (of the people who deserved it, i.e. not Lila). So she didn’t berate Adrien for doing the wrong thing. “It’s okay, Adrien,” Marinette said, and it really was. 

Adrien sagged in relief. “Thank you, Marinette.” The others looked a bit judgemental, so he kept quiet when Mme Bustier came in and told everyone to go back to their seats. This meant that he was paying attention and noticed Félix winking at him like the cat who’d got the cream. 

What was really going on in Félix’s mind at that moment: _My chances of becoming a godfather are only going up. And when I have tiny little godchildren, I shall tell them of the marvellous adventures of Marinette the Blushing Fiend and Adrien the ‘Cool’ Cat._

~~~~~~~~~~

“We meet again, Mlle Rossi.”

“That we do. This time, I need more.”

“More what? Powers? A larger army?”

“No. I need more of everything. I need to take over Paris. I need to show everybody else just how powerful I am. And I need to destroy that annoying, conniving brat of a girl or so help me god I will-”

“There is no need to say any more, Mlle Rossi. Your wish will be granted. What did you say was this girl’s name again?” Hawkmoth asked. 

Lila snarled her name like it was a curse. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Adrien woke up with a sharp pain in his gut. He groaned, clutching his stomach. He leaned over the side of the bed and heaved, half-aware of the dismay that came at the splatter of vomit that now decorated his bedroom floor. There were flecks of it on his shirt, and a lingering acidic taste in his mouth. Adrien groaned again. “Plagg,” he said, voice raspy and throat scratching. 

Plagg wasn’t getting up. “What is it? I’m busy having sweet, sweet dreams about Camembert, the love of my life.”

“I need water,” Adrien croaked. “Please get me some water.”

Plagg peeked out from under his blankets and was shocked by how ragged Adrien looked. The poor kid looked like he’d just vomited - oh, yep, there it was. Plagg wrinkled his nose at the smell and flew off to get a cup. Kwamis were notoriously good as disobeying the laws of physics, and therefore a tiny floating cat filling up and carrying a glass of water was no big feat for Plagg. Sometimes, back in the Bronze Age, he and Tikki had thrown boulders at each other when they were mad or fighting (both of which happened infinite times a day), until Plagg had thrown one and it hit a baby bear. Tikki hadn’t let him throw any more boulders after that. 

“Here you go,” Plagg said, hurrying back with the water. Adrien gulped it down greedily. “Are you okay?”

Adrien lifted up his shirt in response. Plagg gasped. The black had spread, and now it was covering Adrien’s entire chest. Plagg could see it disappearing under his pants, and the top part almost reached Adrien’s collarbone. 

“Damn, Adrien, you really did a number on yourself,” Plagg said. 

Adrien sighed and laid his head back on his pillow. “Am I going to die, Plagg?” 

Plagg was startled. “What?! What are you talking about?”

“Master Fu doesn’t know how to fix me, and it’s just… spreading.” Adrien gestured uselessly to his body. “At this rate, I’m a goner.”

“Wha- Don’t be ridiculous! There’s no way Master Fu will let you die, and there’s definitely no way that _I’ll_ let you die,” Plagg said defiantly. 

Adrien smiled. “Thanks, Plagg.” He groaned and got up. “I’ll have to try and hide it for the day, though, we’ve got that Shakespeare excursion on.”

Plagg hummed. “I remember Shakespeare. He was heaps of fun. He was better at cat jokes than me!”

“You’re good at cat jokes?” Adrien laughed. “That’s a new one.”

“Everybody knows that I’m _purr_ fectly good at cat jokes,” Plagg rebuked. “Compared to me, your puns are dismal at best.”

“Hey! I’m great at puns! You’re just jealous of my talent,” Adrien said. 

“Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.” Plagg went back to his bed. “Wake me up when you’re ready to go, I’m about to re-enter the world of Camembert dreams.”

Adrien got up, having forgotten about the infection completely. As he smiled again at the now-snoozing Plagg, a little bit of the blackness gave way to light, natural skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> literally have no idea what i'm do


	25. Romeo And Juliet Is NOT Trash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some bromance for the adrino crowd, adrienette and ladynoir for the lovesquare crowd, and lila for @lila.

“Marinette! Come on, you’re going to miss the bus!” Alya yelled to Marinette, who was running frantically towards her class. They were patiently waiting on the steps outside the school, and Marinette had overslept. Again. It turned out that the first time she had been early was also her last. Marinette blamed the lack of Lila’s presence giving her better sleep. 

She jogged to Alya, whose shoulders were shaking in silent laughter as she patted her panting friend on the back. “Well done, girl. You made it!”

“Yeah,” Marinette puffed. “Did I miss anything?”

“Well, Adrien isn’t feeling to good, and Nino’s been whining about theatres for ages, but other than that, no.”

“I’m just saying,” Nino cut in, “Shakespeare isn’t everyone’s piece of cake. I’ve been trying to understand Romeo and Juliet for the past week, but I still can’t work out what’s going on. Nobody in Verona speaks my language, guys. Shakespeare never heard of the word ‘dude’,” Nino said with disappointment. 

“Romeo and Juliet is about two star-crossed lovers who end up dying because of their determination to be with each other despite their family feud,” Adrien joined in. He had a mushy look in his eyes. “Romeo and Juliet is my favourite,” he sighed. 

“Wait, they die?!” Nino squawked. He obviously hadn’t read a summary of the plot, Marinette thought. 

“How do you read Romeo and Juliet and not get that they die?” Alya asked with raised eyebrows. 

“I… I didn’t actually read it.” Nino looked sheepish. “I tried reading it from the start and got super bored, so I just searched up ‘dude reacting to Romeo and Juliet’ because I thought that would be funnier. Thing was, the dude kept going off topic and ranting about his crazy neighbour who keeps a hoard of goats in their backyard… I didn’t learn much about the play.”

Adrien looked like he couldn’t even comprehend what had led Nino into this path of self-ruin. Alya was hooting with laughter. 

Then Adrien noticed Marinette’s new outfit. “Marinette,” he began, cocking his head in intrigue, “your hair is down.”

“Hey, yeah!” Alya exclaimed, only noticing once Adrien had mentioned it. “That looks good, girl. Cute new hair to go with the cute new outfit!”

Marinette blushed. “Well- I’m just trying something new,” she said meekly, with a small smile forming on her lips. 

“Alya’s right, it does look really nice on you,” Adrien commented. “I never knew what your hair looked like when it was down.” Honestly, Marinette was glowing. Adrien had never realized how pretty she was, or noticed the tiny freckles that dotted across the bridge of her nose. They were so small, Adrien thought. And her hair looked really nice...

“Hello?!” Nino cried. “I’m having a crisis here!”

“At least you’ll be able to see the actual thing at the theatre,” Marinette said.

Nino grimaced. “Dude, I don’t even like theatre.”

Adrien gasped. Alya kept laughing. “How can you not like theatre! It’s _art_ ,” Adrien said, looking betrayed. 

Nino nodded serenely. “Trash art.”

“You take that back!” Adrien exclaimed, chin hitting the floor in a mixture of disgust and astonishment. 

Before it could escalate further, Mme Bustier announced: “Come on class, everybody hop on the bus!”

Marinette giggled at the boys’ competitive expressions. “Next time, Lahiffe,” Adrien said lowly. “Next time.”

“Keep trying, Agreste,” Nino replied. 

Mme Bustier cleared her throat. “Boys, save the drama for the theatre, would you? Get on the bus.”

“Yes, Mme Bustier,” they said, still giving each other malevolent glances. Once they got on the bus, they still sat together in the spot behind Marinette and Alya, though. 

“We cool, bro?” Nino asked, offering a fist. 

Adrien nodded. “We’re cool, bro.” He bumped the fist. Alya and Marinette were laughing together in the front, talking about what strange creatures boys were. 

~~~~~~~~~~

“Wayzz!”

“Yes, Master?” Wayzz replied. He was happily snacking on green tea and a few salad leaves. Master Fu was studying some old book. 

“Come look at this,” Fu said, staring intently at the book.

“What is it?” Wayzz asked, floating near Fu’s head but unable to decipher anything on the book’s pages. 

“An ancient language, but I’m able to translate some parts of it. I’m trying to research how Adrien could have his infection, and this is quite a revelation: the dark kwamis have to be active in order for their effects to take place like this, which means that somewhere, someone is using a dark kwami in Paris.”

“But what are they doing with it?” Wayzz asked. 

“I don’t know, but they must have used their power on Adrien in some way. I don’t know if the same scar would occur in non-Miraculous holders, but Adrien having the kwami of Destruction wouldn’t help to heal him if the power came into contact with him. I think Marinette is safe, though - as Ladybug, she would heal from any effects. The only people who would react to this magic are the other Miraculous holders. Like Adrien.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Lila was sitting on a rooftop somewhere. Well, not exactly - Lila wasn’t sitting there, Illusioniste was. She looked a lot like Volpina, except all the white on her old costume was replaced with black, and the bright orange that covered the rest of it was a darker shade, almost auburn. 

She stood up gingerly, peering at the bus as the excited children got on and it drove off. Inside, she scoffed. They were too naive to understand where true happiness came from. Power. Outside, she followed the bus as it trailed down the street. She needed to get the Miraculous, but first she was going to ruin the life of the girl who had ruined hers. 

~~~~~~~~~~

“So where’s the theatre?” Nino asked as they stood in front of a large grey building. 

Mme Bustier is sighed. “Nino, it’s through this building, we’re walking there. I already told you this before the trip.”

Nino shrugged, following the rest of the group as they ambled their way through the bland building. There was nothing noteworthy, really. Other than the receptionist staring at her phone and looking like she might have a brain aneurysm, there was nothing to suggest what even happened there. Some fancy office, Nino was sure. 

Mme Bustier led the way through the building, stopping at the other side to make sure that everyone was still there, and turning right to reveal the theatre. “Voila!”

The class looked disinterested. Mme Bustier huffed and walked in. The class followed suit, and that was when their interests were piqued. Despite the nonexistent description of the theatre that Mme Bustier had given them, it was huge, grand and looked really expensive. Everybody ‘ooh’ed and ‘aah’ed at everything as they went to sit in their seats. Mme Bustier told them all to sit in one row, so the class made their way through the seats in single file. Somehow, Alya and Marinette had found themselves at the front, and Marinette was nervously whispering a plan to Alya as Adrien went behind them, followed by Nino. 

“So Alya, if you get me to swap with Nino then Adrien and I will be sitting next to each other but I’ll still be sitting next to you- ”

“Don’t worry, girl, I’ve got this covered,” Alya whispered back as they sat down. “Hey Nino?” She asked innocently. 

Three seats down, Nino replied, “Yes, Alya?” Alya gave him a look, a grin and a thumb pointing to Marinette. Nino nodded in understanding, wiggling his eyebrows at Marinette. He laughed at the confused expression from Adrien’s face. 

“Could you and Marinette swap seats, please?” Alya asked sweetly. 

Adrien still looked confused. “Couldn’t I just swap with Nino and-”

“Sure thing, babe!” Nino said brightly, swapping with Marinette and completely ignoring Adrien. 

Adrien widened his eyes as he figure four what was really going on. “Marinette,” he said to the girl sitting next to him, “I worked it out!”

“You- you did?” Marinette squeaked nervously. She could see Alya looking worried in her peripheral vision. 

“Yeah,” Adrien smirked. “Alya and Nino want to sit together while they watch Romeo and Juliet,” he punctuated by nudging Marinette’s side, oblivious to her intense blush at the contact. “I think we both know why.”

“We… we do?” Marinette was not sure if she and Adrien were talking about the same thing anymore. 

“Oh, yeah,” Adrien said confidently, “they’re just total lovebirds.” He sighed dramatically, holding a hand to his heart. Marinette could now see Alya violently coughing in her peripheral vision. 

“Um… right,” Marinette said, slowly nodding as Adrien sat back with virtual hearts in his eyes. Oh god, she was in love with a dork. At least she could keep calm knowing that she was a dork too and they could still be together. 

The lights dimmed down and Marinette realised that the show was starting. The red curtains at the front opened to show the stage. A voice boomed from overheard: “Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona, where we lay our scene, from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.” Then the light crackled and Marinette swore she saw sparks of electricity crackling before everything went black. 

Someone screamed in the dark. Marinette thought it sounded like Mylene. She stood up, and she could hear Adrien doing the same. Another voice boomed overhead. It wasn’t the same. “Hello, all. I’m ever so glad you came to see my show. It’s so lovely that you all could make it. But before the play truly begins, I think we have to have a little talk, don’t we, Dupain-Cheng?”

Marinette’s blood went cold. She’d know that sneering voice anywhere. _Lila_. 

“Show yourself!” She shouted on impulse, immediately regretting her words. Adrien’s hand gripped her wrist, but she was too keyed up to notice the warmth. 

“You want me to show myself? Alright,” I’ll show myself,” the voice cackled, and a flash of lightning exploded on the stage in front of their eyes, illuminating someone who looked like they were doing a darker impersonation of Volpina. She looked physically huge, her size towering over all of them. Marinette could hear the faint footsteps of people evacuating. Good. "I am Illusioniste!" Apparently-Not-Volpina bellowed. "And I will get Ladybug and Chat Noir's Miraculouses if it's the last thing I do!"

She only then registered Adrien’s hand, as he tugged it to get her attention. “Come on, Marinette, we have to go,” Adrien said urgently. “She’s after you.”

Marinette weighed her options. Maybe she could try to escape in the dark? She had to transform somehow, and that wasn’t happening with the weight becoming more and more aware on her hand. She bit her lip, then decided she would have to free herself while he wasn’t looking. 

Adrien moved out, still holding onto Marinette’s wrist. Marinette was forced to follow him as he hurried to the exit. “Um, you know what?” She winced. “I, uh, really need to go to the bathroom right now, so I’m just gonna do that.” Without another word, she ripped Adrien’s hand off like it was burning her and raced towards the toilets. She could distantly hear her name being called out as she slammed the door and sat down, holding her head. 

Tikki floated out of her purse. “Marinette, are you sure it’s safe?” She asked worriedly. “Illusioniste could have seen you going in!”

“I’ll just have to transform before she does,” Marinette whispered. “Tikki, spots- ”

“Marinette!” She heard a voice outside. “Are you okay?” 

Marinette ran a hand down the side of her face. “Adrien?” She asked. 

There was a long pause. 

“Is anyone there?” She tried again. 

“Uh- yeah, Chat Noir…”

“Oh, sorry.” Marinette opened the door. Chat was twitching nervously. “Are you okay?”

His head snapped up to her. “Yeah- yeah, I’m fine. I need to get you to safety, though. The akuma’s after you.”

“How did you get here so fast?” Marinette questioned. “She only just got here.”

“Um… word gets around, and I was in the neighbourhood.” That made Marinette feel something strange, knowing that Chat Noir was near her. Hell, maybe he had been in the same theatre as her. The thought made her heart skip a beat. 

Chat indicated to the door with his head. “We should go. There’s not much time.”

Marinette nodded, heading out the door before he could open it for her and sneaking to the exit. She could hear Chat breathing softly behind her. “Stay close,” he whispered. Marinette fumbled for his hand in the dark. She stayed silent and tried to lead the way back to safety without- 

Another flash of light, but this time it stayed, illuminating the entire space. Illusioniste hovered right in the middle of it, and Marinette had to shield her eyes with her arm to see her because of her eyes adjusting to the sudden bright light. Illusioniste’s voice was magnified somehow, and Marinette noticed that her eyes were an eerie black as she fixated them on Marinette. “Marinette, I think you and I have a bit of business that we need to attend to, hmm?”

Chat clenched her hand. “You have to leave,” he said, the panic seeping into his voice. “I can’t guarantee your safety if you don’t leave right now.”

Marinette decided that that was for the best and raced off, ignoring the roar from Illusioniste and opting to leave Chat Noir alone with her for a few minutes while she ducked out to transform. 

When she got back as Ladybug, she was relieved to find him still in one piece. “Hey kitty, you doing okay there?” Ladybug stayed at his side and flung her yo-yo at Illusioniste, who disappeared in a puff of smoke. 

“Yeah, because apparently I was fighting thin air,” Chat let out a short huff and held his hand to his stomach. 

Ladybug decided not to comment, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t slightly worried. Chat had a terrible track record of looking after himself properly or telling the people around him about his problems. Unless he was on another one of his annoying tangents where he was babbling about the idiocy of cereal mascots and dumb stuff like that. Ladybug wished he would realize that writing angry letters to the management of a company wouldn't make them change their mascot from a bunny to a donkey because "realistically, bunnies would never eat cereal, but donkeys totally would". Anyway, he was never straightforward (unless it was about confessing his love to her, then maybe he was a bit too straightforward). 

Chat Noir looked up at her. His eyes widened and his jaw practically unhinged and fell to the centre of the earth as he took in her _hair_. It was _down_. He heaved a breath in and did not breath for a concerningly long time because Ladybug had _hair_ , oh, he bet it smelled of sugar and croissants and chocolate. He sighed. Now he was lovesick and hungry. But gee, she was just... glowing. She looked sort of terrifying when she glared at him over her shoulder and made a sharp gesture to come help her, but Chat couldn't help it. He was entranced.

Illusioniste appeared again, this time surrounded by more illusions coming out from the sides of the stage. This time they remained on the ground, so Ladybug leapt up at them to swing with her yo-yo and, midair but was yanked away by Illusioniste herself. The force with which Illusioniste pushed her made them both land in one of the balcony seats on the side of the theatre, higher up. The breath was knocked out of Ladybug as she was slammed to the ground, Illusioniste’s foot on her torso and holding her down as she crouched near her face. “Hello, Ladybug,” the villain said smugly, reaching for her earrings. “Long time, no see.” 

“I think I wouldn’t mind a slightly longer time without seeing you again,” Ladybug bit out, using the dip in Illusioniste’s guard to get on top of her and reach for the flute. 

Illusioniste tutted, holding it out of reach. “Nuh-uh-uh,” She said with a sing-song voice, smirking. “I’m not going to make it that easy for you. 

Ladybug lunged for her flute, grabbing it and snapping it easily on her knee. She looked up in surprise when the akuma didn’t come fluttering out, then in horror as she saw Illusioniste dissolve into smoke. _She’s a solid illusion. Illusioniste can make solid illusions. Shit, I can’t trust anything that I see_. 

Chat Noir landed next to her. “I take it you didn’t get her?” He asked not unkindly, but like he already knew the answer. 

Ladybug nodded and closed her eyes. “She can make solid illusions, Chat.” 

Chat winced. “Damn. We can still take her, though.”

“We don’t even know what’s real!” Ladybug snapped. She put a hand to her forehead. She felt like she was about to burst. She hated Lila, and seeing her akumatized, knowing that she’d probably welcomed it made Ladybug’s blood boil. 

“Hey.” Chat put his hand on Ladybug’s, speaking gently. “It’s okay. We’ve faced her plenty of times, I’m sure we can figure out a way to do it again.”

Ladybug gave him a small smile, squeezing his hand softly. Chat went slightly pink.

Ladybug then got a determined look in her eyes. “Lucky Charm!” She called, determination turning to confusion as she turned over the red-and black spotted sunglasses in her hand. “What am I supposed to do with this?” She asked. 

“Put them on?” Chat suggested. Ladybug gave him a look. “Come on, Bugaboo, it’d look good on you,” he grinned. 

Ladybug turned them over in her hands again. Maybe she was supposed to put them on. She tried the glasses on, squinting when she couldn’t really see much. “They’re really tinted,” Ladybug frowned. She could hardly see Chat in front of her. Ladybug decided to take them off, seeing as they weren’t helping her so much as hindering her vision. She reached up a hand to grab them when a flash of colour cake behind Chat Noir. Instinct took over and she cried “Look out!” 

Chat Noir ducked and Ladybug threw a fist at Illusioniste, who was taken aback at Ladybug’s preparedness to fight her. She stepped back, dodging and ducking Ladybug’s hits until Ladybug slammed her body into Illusioniste. She could get her wheezing.

“Ladybug, what are you fighting?” Chat Noir asked. 

“What do you mean, it’s Volpin- _oh_ ,” Ladybug gasped, having an epiphany. She took the glasses off. No Illusioniste. It unnerved her, feeling the akuma trying to attack her but not being able to see her. Glasses back on. Illusioniste- and a fist flying towards her face. Ladybug groaned and stumbled back, shouting “Only I can see her, get back!” to Chat Noir. He stood out of the way, brows creasing in confusion as he watched what looked like a one-way fight. It was _weird_. Especially the bit where Ladybug was wearing _glasses_. But they did look good on her, so... Illusioniste noticed his obvious inability to see her and dove for him instead, taking advantage of Chat’s blindness to reach for his ring. Ladybug tackled her off him, pushing her down on the floor and wrestling the flute out of her hands as she wriggled beneath Ladybug’s grip.

“Here, Chat, Cataclysm it,” Ladybug said, holding out the invisible flute. Chat looked a bit nervous when he waved his Cataclysm around in the air near Ladybug’s hand, but his expression turned to relief when he found the stick without destroying Ladybug’s hand in the process. It crumbled to dust, a little indigo butterfly flapping out, and Chat nearly laughed when he saw a minorly dazed Lila slumped on the floor. He only saw her when he didn’t need to anymore. 

Ladybug caught the akuma with her yo-yo and de-evilized it swiftly. She yelled “Miraculous Ladybug!” and watched in relief as the damage was repaired and she and Lila didn’t look like they’d been beaten up. Lila looked significantly less dizzy now. Chat stared at her hair. It was really mussed up from the fight, and she just looked so beautiful. He sighed again. 

“Lila,” Ladybug said firmly, offering a hand and dragging Lila’s up when she didn’t take it, “we need to have a serious talk.”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine, thanks for asking,” Lila mumbled half-heartedly. 

Ladybug glared at her. “Lila.” The tone of voice with which she said it was so commanding (and terrifying) that the girl herself actually listened. 

“Yes?” Her voice was weary and disinterested. _Strike one_ , Chat thought. _Nobody talks to Bugaboo like that_. 

“Don’t you dare talk to me like I’m wasting your time, Lila Rossi,” Ladybug snapped. “This is, what, the third time you’ve been akumatized?”

“Fourth, actually,” Chat said monotonously. _That probably counts as a strike two_ , he reasoned.

“Right. And why would that be?” Ladybug asked. 

“Maybe because I’ve been continuously overwhelmed with miserable emotions?” Lila said dryly. _Aaaand that's strike three right there. Ladybug hates lies._

“Lila. You and I both know that being akumatized this many times is not because of negative emotions. You constantly being targeted is dangerous for you and us. I think it’d be best if you try to avoid letting Hawkmoth overcome you again,” Ladybug said stiffly. “Understand?”

Lila’s nostrils flared. “Fine,” she hissed. “But Hawkmoth will win one day, and I won’t be worried when he does.” She gave them both a menacing glare and stomped off. 

“Geez. I really thought she was turning a new leaf,” Chat said breezily. Ladybug frowned and playfully elbowed him in the stomach. 

Chat doubled over and groaned loudly. 

Ladybug frowned. “Are you okay?” Chat didn't really know what to tell her. Ladybug worried too much about him, he was fine. Well, if you didn't count the giant black infection spreading over his entire body, that is. 

“Ladybug, Chat Noir!” A voice called. Ladybug leaned over the edge of the box and looked down to find Master Fu staring up at them. 

“Master Fu? What are you doing here?” She asked, zipping down so they didn’t have to yell at each other. 

“I came to see how Chat Noir is doing, and to have a word with both of you,” Fu said. “I’m aware that there has been quite a bit of trouble for you, Chat Noir, but I’m not sure if Ladybug is as knowledgeable as you are of the situation. I would like you to meet me this afternoon if that’s possible. Will it be?”

“Uh… yeah,” Ladybug said, looking slightly confused. “What’s this about, anyway?”

“I have to go now. You two should transform back soon, you won’t have long before more people get here,” Fu glanced at the theatre door. “I’ll see you both later.”

“Chat, what’s he talking about?” Ladybug asked. 

Chat opened his mouth to speak and was cut off by the beeping of his ring. “Sorry, gotta go, Bugaboo. See you around!” And with that, he raced off. 

Ladybug decided to follow his lead and went back to the bathroom, where she detransformed and went out to find her class wandering back in warily. 

“Marinette!” Alya cried, catching sight of her and breaking into a grin. “Where the hell were you? I couldn’t find you anywhere and I thought that you might still be in there!”

“Oh, yeah,” Marinette said sheepishly. “I was in the bathroom.”

Alya rolled her eyes and hugged her. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay, girl.” 

“Marinette!” Adrien exclaimed. He was immensely relieved that Marinette had stayed in the bathroom for the akuma fight. Adrien couldn’t imagine what would happen to her if she went out and put herself in danger. If she ever got hurt, he’d definitely blame himself. 

“Oh, hey, dude!” Nino said, sidling up to Marinette and holding out a fist. Marinette smiled and bumped it. “Where were you? Alya was super stressed.”

“I was in the bathroom,” Marinette supplied. “Hey, do you think they’re going to start the show again?” She steered the subject a safe distance away from where she had been during the akuma fight. Now that she was thinking about the play, she noticed the cast peeking their heads out of the curtains to check that the akuma wasn’t there. There were several people walking across carrying clipboards and talking to the rest of them, bustling around. Maybe the show would still go on. The red curtains swung closed, and Marinette could hear the buzz of conversation floating around. 

“Dude, if I miss out on Romeo and Juliet, I’m gonna be totally bummed,” Nino said. “It looked totally rad.”

Alya laughed. Adrien laughed too, but it sounded tight to Marinette. She looked at him and saw that he was holding his hand over his stomach. “Are you okay, Adrien?” She asked. 

“Oh—yeah, I’m fine, just a stomachache,” Adrien rushed out. “S’all good.”

“Class! Back to your seats now, the akuma’s been taken care of by Ladybug and Chat Noir!” Mme Bustier clapped her hands to get the class’ attention. 

Nino cheered as they went back to their seats. “Dudes, we still get to watch the play! Awesome!”

Adrien nodded enthusiastically. He was still holding his belly as he sat down next to Marinette. 

The curtains opened up for the second time, this time with hopefully less super villains involved. “Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona, where we lay our scene, from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes, a pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life; whose misadventured piteous overthrows do with their death bury their parents' strife.”

Marinette listened to the rest of the narrator’s speech, hearing Adrien sigh a little whenever the voice said the word ‘lover’. Feeling a burst of courage, Marinette tried to manoeuvre her hand into making contact with Adrien’s one, which was resting on the arm of his chair. It hovered over his hand for a second before she panicked and it flopped onto his hand instead. Adrien looked at her and smiled in the dark, wrapping his hand around hers. Marinette felt like her face was on fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have written over 26k words in 26 days and i am very happy. also, this chapter is 4k words i think??? probably. i have a family pack of skittles that i am not going to be sharing with my family to keep me alive. additionally, i have written nearly 80k for this fic (you guys haven't seen the rest, but i've got three chapters ahead of schedule)!


	26. Cheesy Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> plagg loves cheese, adrien hates cheese, plagg hates pastries, adrien can't get enough of 'em. also l o t s of ladynoir.

Ladybug went five minutes early, just in case. She had been stressing out about what Master Fu had said since she got home and felt relieved to be doing something instead of waiting around. Feeling the wind on her face as she made her way to the Eiffel Tower convinced Ladybug to stop freaking out about what it could possibly be that was wrong—so far, she had thought of every possible problem: Chat had cancer, Master Fu was taking their Miraculouses away because they’d done a terrible job and still hadn’t found Hawkmoth, Chat losing his sight and being unable to fight with her, getting his Miraculous taking away for focusing more on puns and wooing her than stopping the akuma (that was the only theory that Ladybug had laughed at instead of being stressed about, Tikki said that it was the most realistic). 

Master Fu clearly had no idea of the potential for Ladybug’s brain to overthink, because to her, ‘a bit of trouble’ could mean anything from overcooking the croissants by two and a half minutes to causing the dinosaurs’ mass extinction (which, according to Chat, his kwami had actually done. Ladybug only believed him because she’d seen firsthand the glee with which Plagg had cataclysmed the Eiffel Tower when she was fighting Style Queen. Plagg looked like he enjoyed it immensely, and Ladybug did not doubt it). 

Ladybug landed quietly and took in Chat Noir, who was already sitting there and was resting his chin on his hands, lying on the cold floor on his stomach with his feet and calves sticking up behind him.. He looked up at her with placid eyes and rolled over onto his back. 

“What are you doing here so early?” Ladybug asked. “You’re never this early, _I’m_ early and you got here before.” She sat down near where Chat was lying. 

“I’m just thinking,” Chat said, rolling over again and resting his head on Ladybug’s lap. “About our identities.”

Ladybug tensed up slightly and tried to play it off by raising her eyebrows. “Chat…” She said it with the hopes that it would convey her strong wish not to share their identities. She had enough on her plate without worrying about what Chat’s true identity thought of her civilian identity. The whole thing was more stress than she could handle, even if he was so desperate to know. 

“No, no, I’m not asking to reveal each other,” Chat said hurriedly, soothing some of Ladybug’s nerves. “I was thinking about how in Master Fu’s ship, we could maybe detransform—”

“Detransform?” Ladybug echoes. Her nerves were no longer soothed. 

“No, wait! I’m not done yet,” Chat grabbed her had. “What I mean is we could have—I don’t know, sheets or something to cover is form each other’s view, but that way we would be able to talk to our kwamis and not wear them out unnecessarily.”

Ladybug considered the idea. “That’s… actually really thoughtful, Chat. I think we could do that.”

“Really?” Chat’s eyes glowed. Sometimes Ladybug got true impression that he was really a cat. His pupils had widened almost comically and he was blinking in happiness at Ladybug, who laughed and ruffled his hair. 

“Come on, you silly cat. Let’s not be late after we both got here early, right?”

Chat dropped slightly at the mention of going to Master Fu’s shop. He absently patted his stomach and followed Ladybug when she navigated the way to the little massage shop. Apparently there was a back entry, so they were able to go in transformed, but Master Fu suggested leaving through the front exit detransformed at separate times, so nobody could add two and two. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Master Fu happily complied with their request when Ladybug and Chat arrived at the shop; he brought out two bamboo-patterned dividers and placed them on either side of the room with enough space that they would be able to sit down behind them. 

Chat snuck a peek behind himself when he heard a whispered “Tikki, spots off” and a flash of pink - he couldn’t see anything, but knowing that an unmasked Ladybug was sitting not three metres away, she was _right there_ , he felt like his chest was squeezing and unsqueezing and imploding and boom, there it went, she was so close and he could probably touch her if he tried—

But he wasn’t going to. Chat would never do that to the girl he loved. He took a deep breath and whispered his line, closing his eyes as the green light peeled away his mask and now he was _detransformed_ in the same room as _Ladybug_ and she could walk around right now and see who he really was and he could do the same thing and it was be so _easy_ —

Adrien took another deep breath and steadied himself and his traitorous heart that was lounging about three metres away with the unmasked love of his life. Maybe this had been a bad idea. 

“...As I was saying earlier, Ladybug,” Master Fu continued, and Adrien realised that he had already been talking for some time above the sound of Adrien’s heartbeat flopping like a screeching fish that had suddenly found itself with a megaphone, “Chat Noir’s condition has been weakening rapidly. His current infection has spread at a swift rate, and I am working my very hardest to find a cure for it.”

Adrien was brought back to existence by the jarring term ‘infection’. One word, he might have had a mere bout of flu, but Adrien checked under his shirt and sucked in a breath at the black. It didn’t feel like skin. 

“...Theorising that it has a lot to do with Plagg being the kwami of destruction, as you know, and this effect on Chat Noir’s reaction to being akumatized…”

Adrien prodded at the skin and was repulsed at the horrifying texture of the skin. Had Adrien found some of the… substance(? He didn’t know what else to call it) on the ground, he wouldn’t ever have touched it. It felt like… if someone had made jelly, which had fermented for a few centuries and was then made a feeding ground for maggots, worms and other atrocities and then been left alone when even they wanted nothing to do with it. Adrien pulled his shirt back over it again, feeling the unbearable desire to scrub his hands all over and the way someone feels when they know that they might throw up. Adrien breathed out. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale— his eyes finally noticed the agitated kwami in front of him. 

“Plagg?” Adrien wondered aloud.” 

Plagg was muttering to himself and staring into Adrien’s eyes and seemed startled when he spoke. “Oh, you idiot, you nearly gave me a heart attack,” Plagg hissed, slapping Adrien’s arm with his tiny black paw. 

“Sorry, I was just thinking about…” Adrien glanced through the divider, where he could see Ladybug’s faint shadow hiding behind hers, the figure obscured a little by Master Fu. 

Plagg rolled his eyes. “Of course you were,” he huffed, then looked behind the divider himself, where he could see—

“Tikki!” Plagg yelled joyously, barreling into her like an uncoordinated missile. 

Tikki fell through the air and nearly hit the ground before she stopped, frowning at Plagg. “You silly cat, be careful!” She exclaimed. “You could have knocked over my tea.” Plagg stared at the miniature cup sitting on the floor near Tikki, filled with something that looked disgustingly healthy. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere near your yucky leaf soup,” Plagg wrinkled his nose. “And it’s not allowed to come anywhere near me,” he said, glaring at the ‘leaf soup’ in distaste. 

Wayzz groaned. “At least we polite kwamis don’t resort to consuming the most pungent edible I’ve ever heard of.”

“What?! How dare you dirty the name of Camembert, you foul, ungrateful—

“Plagg, that’s enough,” Tikki berated him. “You too, Wayzz.”

Master Fu cleared his throat. “Are you three quite finished?”

Tikki nodded serenely. The others looked grumpy. 

Master Fu nodded. “So to conclude, Ladybug and Chat Noir, the infection is still as of yet too vague to decipher and cure, but the good news is that we’ve finally realised something. The Hawkmoth that is currently operating is not the same person as the Hawkmoth who was akumatizing civilians a few months ago.”

“What?!” Adrien asked. “It’s not the same person?”

“No. The dark kwami that is currently active is assumed to be what the current Hawkmoth is using. The previous kwami that was being used, Nooroo, is a light kwami. I still don’t know what has become of him.”

“So how can we… defeat the new Hawkmoth?” Ladybug was the first to ask tentatively. 

“I’m afraid I simply don’t know. There’s nothing you can do now that you couldn’t or didn’t need to do before, so I suppose the most I can ask of you is to keep saving the akumatized victims. Other than that, I have no idea.” Master Fu sipped his tea. Adrien could hear him slurping ever so slightly. 

“Couldn’t we try and find who the last Hawkmoth was?” Plagg asked. “I mean, if someone’s taken over from Hawkmoth, I don’t think Hawkmoth just handed it over. They probably have Nooroo too, and the Butterfly Miraculous. So if we find the previous Hawkmoth, shouldn’t we be able to just ask him?”

The others sat in silence. “That… that is a very good point, Plagg,” Wayzz said. Plagg looked smug. He puffed up his chest proudly. 

“Well of course, I am super smart after all,” Plagg boasted. Adrien rolled his eyes fondly. 

“But how do we find the previous Hawkmoth?” Ladybug asked. 

Adrien hummed. “We could always start by finding some footage of his voice and trying to match it up. There’s definitely going to be footage from Stoneheart or Heroes’ Day where he was yelling at us.”

“That’s… a very good idea as well,” Master Fu praised. Adrien didn’t realise, but he looked just as smug as Plagg did. 

“It would certainly eliminate most of the population,” Tikki said. “And you know his average height, as well, and behaviour. I’m sure there aren’t many people who live the way Hawkmoth did. He probably had a lair in his basement, or something.”

“And he’d have antisocial behaviour, too,” Ladybug added excitedly. “He probably wouldn’t have many friends or family that he interacted with much. He might be, I don’t know, domineering or good at suppressing his emotions. Hey, we might actually be able to figure this out!” 

“I have faith that you will,” Fu said self-assuredly. “But if you need any help, don’t hesitate to call.”

Adrien sensed the dismissal. He’d had plenty of those from his father to know one when he saw it. “I should be going,” he announced loudly. 

Ladybug stood up. “Yeah, me too. I’ll head out first, then you can follow in a few minutes.” Adrien watched a short figure leave the room. He didn’t squint to see who it was. She had the same dark pigtails as a civilian, he noticed. They looked really cute. 

Plagg wandered in front of him. “Hello, is anyone in there?” He tapped Adrien’s forehead. 

Adrien flapped is hand in front of his face. “Yeah, yeah, I’m going. Can’t you wait for more than five minutes before thinking about Camembert?”

Plagg raised his eyebrows. “Bold of you to assume that I’ve ever made it to five minutes. Camembert is embedded in my blood, like your crush on Ladybug!” 

Adrien went bright red and sputtered. “I don’t— I do not have a crush on Ladybug! I’m in _love_!” Then he hurriedly left, because he realised that saying this within earshot of Master Fu and Wayzz would get awkward fast. 

Adrien wandered down a few streets, ducking in an alleyway to transform. As soon as he was Chat Noir, he brought his staff out and sent a new message to Ladybug:

Chat Noir: Meet at the Eiffel Tower tomorrow night to work on hm’s identity?

He heard a ding only seconds after he sent it. 

Ladybug: sure, I’ll be there. What time?

Chat Noir: idk, usual?

Ladybug: sounds good. want me to bring snacks?

Chat Noir: you know I do, bugaboo <3

Ladybug: I can’t tell if the heart is for me or the pastries lol

Chat Noir: tbh both

Ladybug: argh u dumb cat I’m gonna go home now. bug out!

Chat Noir: love you too, m’lady ;)

Chat shrunk his staff back down and placed it in his belt, crouching down like a cat so he could spring up and land on the roof. Life as a cat was good. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Ladybug, or course, brought a plentiful bounty of edibles. She had brought a large basket (it was more of a hamper) filled with cupcakes, biscuits, macarons (of course), croissants and chocolate éclairs. 

Chat Noir caught himself literally drooling at the sight of the scrumptious goods. He hurriedly wiped it off his face, attempting subtlety. Ladybug laughed and flicked his bell. “Have you ever seen a macaron in your life and not drooled?”

“Why, of course not, m’lady,” Chat purred. “Besides, these are from the best bakery in Paris.”

“Oh?” Ladybug quirked an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, the Dupain-Chengs own it. I’ve met their daughter Marinette a few times, she’s a really cool girl.”

Ladybug blinked. “Uh— what do you mean, cool?”

Chat laughed. “She’s awesome! Marinette’s good at heaps of stuff! Baking, sewing, drawing, and I think she would be really good at puns if she ever tried.”

Ladybug laughed again. Chat loved her laugh. It sounded like music, tiny bells tinkling in the wind. “Why do you like her so much?” She sounded half-amused, half-curious. 

“Because she’s so real,” Chat emphasised. “I haven’t even spent as much time with her as I’d like to, but she’s so nice and selfless and she’s the only person besides you who’s impervious to my charms, Bugaboo.”

Ladybug wrenched a croissant in half and offered him one. “She sounds great.” 

“Not to say that you’re not, though, because you’re still the one true love of my life,” Chat declared, a wide smile on his face. 

“Thanks, Chaton,” Ladybug smiled back. “Shall we get down to business?”

Chat blinked. “Oh, right! Yeah, of course, because we’re supposed to be finding Hawkmoth and stuff, yeah…” His stomach twinged. “I brought the little technological thingy, by the way.”

“A phone?” Ladybug suggested. 

Chat snapped his fingers at her. “Exactly! A phone, yes, that.” He brought out the slim device. It was a burner phone that he had grabbed last-minute because in the heat of the moment Adrien had forgotten that he didn’t have any spare super-secret high-tech spy stuff to whip out of his pockets. Plagg had thrown a book at him and called him an idiot. Adrien was too embarrassed to argue. 

“So I have a screenshot of Hawkmoth from Heroes’ Day… here,” Chat pointed. He had no idea how burner phones worked, but somehow he had internet and that was all he cared about. 

“Can’t you just bring it up on your staff?” Ladybug pointed out. 

Chat’s jaw dropped. _That was a totally smart plan that anyone with half a brain would have thought of._ The voice in his head sounded suspiciously like Plagg. Chat wasn’t even surprised. 

He shoved the phone back into his pocket and brought the same thing up on his staff with a few button-presses and just under a minute. “Right, here it is,” Chat began again. 

Ladybug peered at the image. She brought out a little notebook ( _How prepared of her_ , Chat thought with a slight resentment ) and scribbled down a few things. “So we’ve got his height, build and a couple of facial features. Behaviour-wise, he probably doesn’t leave the house much, social interaction would be at a minimum, lack of positive emotions…” Ladybug absently scribbled down everything she was saying. Chat ripped off another half of one of the croissants, closing his eyes as the sweet, buttery sensation threatened to give him diabetes all on its own. 

“Chat!” Ladybug snapped him out of his reverie. Chat hummed in response. “We have to try and get something done,” Ladybug sighed. 

“It’s getting late, Ladybug. Maybe we should try again tomorrow?” Chat offered. 

Ladybug sighed again. She sounded tired. “Maybe. Give me one of those macarons though, I’m starving.”

 

They ended up emptying the entire basket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just got a hate comment from an anon that complained about my writing being different to canon and basically told me that my story was bad. i'm not asking for pity or anything, but for anyone who reads this and doesn't like it, please don't leave a comment nitpicking bits you didn't like, just stop reading. if you paid twenty-nine dollars for it from the bookstore, you would have a great excuse to complain. i would love to have a book i wrote selling for twenty-nine dollars at the bookstore. but seeing as i don't profit from this in any way, this is my first work and i'm a teenager who doesn't have money to, i don't know, hire an editor or something, please don't take the time to say something nasty if you have no idea how to make it nice. keep in mind, i am a person on the other side of the screen. this is made less serious for me because my keyboard is being squeaky from when i spilt tea on it the other day. smh my laptop is annoying. (thank you to the people who have told me when there's an error that i made, it's really helpful because usually i just don't have the time to go over my writing much. end of rant)


	27. Through The Fog And Filthy Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gabriel seems to... actually care about his family. maybe it's the not-supervillaining, or the disturbing lack of croissants in his life is addling his brain because nathalie's got the entire family on a no-carbs diet. adrien has never really stuck to that. félix didn't even try.

Nathalie buzzed around the room like a bee, efficiently working in silence. There wasn’t much else that she did do, Gabriel reflected. He had never seen her yell, throw a tantrum, try to seek his attention, or be anything except silent and efficient. It was one of the reasons he had hired her; she was calm, patient, level-headed and worked hard. She used to be a good friend of Emilie’s as well, and if ever he needed to take a moment away from his work, she would understand. Nathalie never asked for a raise or promotion, never asked for help, never needed it. There were times when Gabriel almost wished that she had some imperfection, some flaw. None were found. 

“What is the kilometre radius that you have narrowed it down to, Nathalie?” 

“Forty, sir,” Nathalie replied without missing a beat. 

“And are there any leads on the culprit?”

“None yet, sir.”

Gabriel leaned back in his chair and locked his hands together. Nathalie was efficient, but even she couldn’t work wonders. “Nooroo has been stolen, Nathalie. I _need_ to find him.”

“You will, sir.” Nathalie’s voice was neither confident nor uncertain. The only word Gabriel could think of was empty. Robotic, maybe. Apathetic. It turned out that there were several words he could think of. 

Gabriel contemplated the theft. He had been in his lair, devising new theories to retrieve Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculouses. It was nighttime, but that was inconsequential because he hardly ever slept before midnight. Unfortunately, he had not been transformed when he was attacked. Gabriel never saw the attacker’s face as they had been wearing a thick black mask that covered their whole face, but he certainly felt it when they ripped the Butterfly Miraculous off his chest. He had fought bravely, but there was a determination and anger with which the attacker had ambushed him. They fought almost ferally, ripping and scratching anywhere they could get their hands. Gabriel had spent an extensive time thinking about the reasoning for their aggressiveness. Almost like it was… _personal_. But there were far too many people in Paris who didn’t like him, even if they didn’t show it. Gabriel Agreste was well aware that he was difficult to get along with, and he was also perfectly fine with this fact. 

The fact he was not perfectly fine with was that now Nooroo was missing. There was a new Hawkmoth. Someone had the gall to replace him and act as if nothing had happened. There was no grand entrance, no dramatic speech - radio silence. It infuriated Gabriel that the thief could have snuck under his radar like that. Due to this, he had worked at his level best - well, Nathalie had - to ensure that he would have Nooroo and the Butterfly Miraculous back where they belonged, with him. The lack of Miraculous had also changed his perspective, somewhat. Now that he was completely unable to get Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous, Gabriel was now concerning himself considerably more with his son’s wellbeing. 

His relationship with Adrien had rather deteriorated over the years, and Gabriel saw this as a sort of chance at redemption. He wasn’t too far gone to realise that his son was drifting away from him, but he had revised to take small steps - not extending his affection so outwardly that Adrien became suspicious, but… not cancelling mealtimes. Not declining his requests to go out more often with friends. Allowing him small luxuries that would, in Adrien’s eyes, be acts of miracles. Adrien was always very emotional. Like Emilie. When she was alive, she was the brightest one in the room. She shone above the others, and Gabriel felt himself warming in her light. She brought out the best in him. After she wasn’t there, he could hardly look at Adrien. He was all that Gabriel had left to remind him of her, and her body in the basement. That sounded worse than it actually was, but it was the only way that she would stay alive. 

“Nathalie, I think you should take a vacation,” Gabriel said abruptly. 

Nathalie looked up from her laptop. “I beg your pardon?”

“You’ve been working very hard for a long time, you deserve some rest. Take a few weeks off,” Gabriel strongly advised. Maybe he would be able to bond with his son on his own while Nathalie wasn’t there to guide him. If he was to become a better father, he needed to become better at being around Adrien more. Plus, he would be able to focus on the mystery thief himself. Nathalie was efficient, but Gabriel was passionate in his determination to get something finished. The time without her could be split between becoming closer to his son and tracking down the annoyingly clever person who had run off with his Miraculous and passed themselves off as Hawkmoth. They hadn’t even chosen a new name, for goodness’ sake! No originality there whatsoever. 

“...Alright, sir, if you’re certain,” Nathalie trailed off uncertainly. 

Gabriel nodded. “You are dismissed.” Nathalie pursed her lips and left without another word. Gabriel pulled his eyes towards his papers. Maybe he could trap the thief, fake negative emotions in order for the false Hawkmoth to akumatize him. He might be able to track where they were located to a specific enough point that he could go there and confront the villain himself. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Félix woke up from a very pleasant dream about carbohydrates, namely macarons, and was immediately confronted with the harsh reality of life: he had to get out of bed before midday. Modelling was something that Félix rarely enjoyed, but he was never asked to smile because the people directing the shoot were always too scared of him. They were right to be, Félix thought of himself as very tall and imposing. He hardly ever felt like smiling. To him, there were only two states that he could be in - unhappy or neutral. He was rarely happy unless it involved food, Adrien or sleeping. He wasn’t unhappy often, either - he just never felt it necessary to fake smiles. The vast majority of the time, Félix was calm and witty, with a variety of good comebacks always at hand just in case. The thought of adopting a cat had crossed his mind many times during the course of his life, but Félix was never bothered to actually go to the pet shop. Him? Pah. 

The modelling career that Félix had immersed himself in was very successful despite Félix’s lack of interest in the subject. His parents had been eager for him to model as well, although he was often encouraged to do a bit of science on the side, so Félix was studying physics and chemistry while wearing his overpriced Gucci shoes. His parents were major overachievers - Félix’s father had graduated from Harvard to become a barrister, his mother had graduated from Oxford with a PhD in nuclear physics. As expected, they didn’t want Félix growing up without a doctorate in something. Luckily for him, Félix was smart, and he was one of very few who could handle his parents’ insatiable need for him to be good at everything that was relevant to them. As long as he wasn’t in the same continent as them, though. Geographical distance always made it a touch more difficult to nag him, so Félix had leapt at the chance to leave the country and his parents much earlier than they wanted to part with him. His father was also a touch old-fashioned and had been very keen on the idea of his son settling down with someone early (after he had fulfilled all their ambitions, obviously). Félix’s father was a nice enough person, but sometimes he and his mother were utterly appalling at understanding their son’s moods. Félix thought it was because he was just too witty for their straightforward disposition. He had never told them that, though.

He opened his eyes and closed them again, wincing at the harsh bright light streaming in from the window. The blankets were too warm for it to not be physically painful to take them off, but Félix had to face it: there was no escaping the dreaded existence of life. Maybe a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt, though. He nuzzled into his expensive sheets and wrapped the blankets around him like a cocoon to block out the sunlight so he could pretend that it was still ten pm for a while. 

Unfortunately, a few more minutes turned into lots more minutes, and Félix was rudely awoken by a frantic Adrien, who was yelling at Félix to get up so they could go to school because he was older and therefore more responsible and therefore he had to get his crap together because Adrien was a teenager and Félix was an adult and Adrien had too much stress going on in his life to be dealing with his catatonic cousin at eight-thirty in the morning and geez, it really sounded like Adrien needed to get a counsellor. Maybe not even to ask him questions about how he was feeling, just to sit there and listen to his poor, stressed cousin babble on about the underrated woes of being a teenager (and part-time superhero). 

“Félix, you have to get up, we’re going to be in so much trouble with Mme Bustier, I’ve never even _been_ late before, I can’t be late for the first time because my lazy cousin couldn’t get out of bed!” Adrien yelled the last part. 

Félix rubbed his ears. “Wow, Adrien, you’ve wounded me. Also, you should really talk to someone.”

“You shut up and get dressed,” Adrien pointed a warning finger to his much taller cousin who was, admittedly, still horizontal because the blankets were _so warm and comfortable, why should I have to sacrifice my beauty sleep so that this dork can learn more about Shakespeare_ , Félix thought grumpily. 

“Fine, fine, I’ll get up if you really have to attend this unnecessary predicament that you call school.” Félix sighed dramatically, holding his arms out for Adrien to pull him aggressively out of bed. He would make it slightly easier for him, but he had to keep Adrien on his toes. It was his sworn duty as cousin. 

“Good!” Adrien sounded stressed. “Meanwhile, I’m just going to go and freak out because I’m going to be late for school and I’m not even fifteen yet but I still feel like getting a counsellor would be a really good idea! Oh, I need a drink,” he muttered, walking out out the room and rubbing his forehead. Félix chuckled. Adrien was probably the only Agreste ever who got this stressed. Maybe he should be his counsellor? He would have to check the cousin duty handbook again, this job was really difficult. Speaking of, he had to try and get Adrien to talk to Marinette more or more likely vice versa. He was still contemplating the “Adrien goes out at Chat Noir to visit Marinette because I put some ridiculous idea in his gullible head and manages to actually get to know Marinette without tripping over herself every time she looks at him” idea. It would be easy to accomplish, but awkward to manoeuvre without some kind of emotional disaster, because, well, Marinette, and, well, Adrien. Those two together were like oxygen and hydrogen gas (yes, he had learned something, and yes, he was a smart model. He was Félix Agreste. It was hardly surprising). 

“You know, I usually have to play the role of Adrien’s counsellor,” Plagg’s voice drifted to Félix’s befuddled ears. His brain still wasn’t completely functioning, but he could probably name the first three elements of the Periodic Table under stress if he really had to. 

“That must be a handful,” Félix laughed. 

“Tell me about it, Adrien’s the weirdest. You think he’s actually, like, cool, and then he goes off on a tangent about how trains are probably going to blow up and kill everyone on them because they don’t have zero carbon emissions and carbon is flammable. No joke, that’s basically a direct quote.” Plagg gave Félix a flat look. 

Félix nodded and pulled a few mismatched clothes out of his wardrobe. Fashion today was going to be the theme of: absolutely nothing that was trendy because trends were completely overrated and they always had been and would be. Félix was sick of denim jeans and mismatched socks, of gaping holes in peoples’ pants that were supposed to be “fashionable”, all the terrible ideas that people had suddenly started spewing ever since the early twentieth century. Sweater vests were _great_ , damn it, and Félix would not condone a young uppity teenager to tell him what was fashionable and what was not. No way. 

“Are you nearly done?” Plagg asked, dropping another hunk of Camembert into his mouth. Félix decided not to ask how he’d gotten it. “Adrien’s all in a tizzy and going off about being late, we should probably get going.”

“Yeah, give me a second,” Félix grunted, adjusting his collar and putting on his shoes. 

Adrien ducked his head in. “Hurry up, you lot!” He squawked. “Oh, Mme Bustier’s gonna kill us,” he muttered. 

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Adrien,” Félix patted his cousin on the shoulder as he passed by and went out the door, Adrien following after him with a red face, “Mme Bustier can’t say squat if I mention some stuff about how preoccupied we were while discussing some important matter with you father, can she?”

“I suppose not,” Adrien said it almost glumly, as if the possibility that they used lies to escape detention was worse than being in detention. 

Félix snorted. “It’s fine, I’ll handle it and you can just do your googly-eyes thing at Marinette, alright?” 

“Your sweater vest looks terrible,” Adrien grimaced at Félix’s impeccable outfit. Oh, no. A young teenager who was dumb enough to insult Félix’s sense of fashion. Well, if he couldn’t live peacefully with his cousin without insults flying at him from all corners of the earth, he would distract Adrien with his future wife. 

As predicted, it worked without a hitch. Adrien’s eyes ballooned up and his mouth opened and closed like a fish, stuttering out denial after denial. “What- what are you even talking about? Ma-Marinette and I are just friends, nothing more! She doesn’t even like me that way! What are you talking about?”

“I’m just kidding, Adrien, it’s fine,” Félix smirked. Ah, the woes of being an emotionally charged, confused teenager. Félix didn’t even regret dooming Adrien to spending the day overthinking every word he said to Marinette and every reply she gave. He was so glad that he was older and more mature. 

“Hey! Speaking of, isn’t that Marinette running down the street over there?” Félix pointed out the dark-haired girl sprinting towards Francoise-Dupont, not even noticing them as she streaked past like a missile. 

Adrien went pink. “Yeah, that’s her,” he said in sotto voce, his eyes trailing after Marinette. Félix smirked again. 

“Marinette!” He yelled. Marinette blinked and turned around, not slowing down despite now running backwards. She waved and opened her mouth to say hello when she ran backwards into the door and fell over.

Adrien ran over to help her up. “Marinette! Are you okay?” His nervousness was undetectable, Félix noticed. Maybe it had been overridden by all the worry he felt for his ‘friend’. 

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine,” Marinette said, nursing her head with her hand. “Oh, I’m going to be so late now,” she groaned. 

“That’s fine, you can say that we saw you and held you up,” Félix offered. 

Marinette raised her eyebrows. “And what’s your excuse then?”

“Important business with the big man, of course,” Félix adjusted his collar again, except this time he was just showing off. 

Marinette’s eyebrows only went higher. “The big man?” She echoed, taking the hand that Adrien held out and brushing herself off when she stood up. 

“His dad,” Félix pointed a thumb at Adrien and whispered like it was a secret. “We’re actually not meeting with him, though.”

“I figured,” Marinette whispered back. Her eyes twinkled. 

“Hey! Father just has some… stuff going on,” Adrien said. He actually had no idea what his father had going on, but Marinette looked like she was close to laughing at him, which was bad. 

“Come one, let’s not be any later than we already are,” Félix smiled adoringly at Adrien like the smile a parent might give their child as it figured out how to walk and not fall over. Adrien frowned. 

“Good point,” Marinette said. “Race you there!” She burst through the doors and Adrien went straight after her, zooming towards their classroom door. 

Félix walked steadily behind them with the air of a wise parent. Marinette was also the child trying to walk. He felt like a proud mother hen just watching them as they stuttered awkward excuses to Mme Bustier. Noobs. 

“Adrien and I had important business with our father that made us late,” Félix stepped in, “and we ran into Marinette outside the school and held her up a bit. My apologies for our tardiness.”

Mme Bustier was mollified. “Thank you for telling me, Félix. Go to your seats now, all of you. You’ve missed quite a large chunk of the lesson.” Félix heard Adrien breathe a sigh of relief and Marinette do similarly. He turned around to see that they were sporting identical blushed (at each other) and both of them were rubbing their necks. Félix huffed. Teenagers were so awkward. He elected to ignore that he, himself was a teenager and only a couple of years older than Adrien, because, hey, who really cared? Not him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helpful life hack: if you're ever sad, google 'french bakery' and look at the images. i swear it's not even a bakery, it's a full-frigging-ican'tthinkoftherightword but dAMN. good cakes. so many macarons. sometimes they even had stuff in them and were the size of my hand. yumyumyumyumyum.


	28. Tomato Boy And Co.

Félix sped towards his seat next to Nathaniel. “What did I miss?” He whispered out of the corner of his mouth. Couldn’t risk getting caught by Mme Bustier, or he’d really be in trouble. 

“Honestly? I have no idea,” Nathaniel mumbled. He was hunched over a new artwork that looked a lot like Ladybug, except Chat Noir was nowhere to be seen. Félix narrowed his eyes. 

“What are you drawing? It looks really good,” Félix commented. Usually he never had lengthy conversations with Nathaniel, it was one of the things that he liked about him. But usually, Nathaniel was doing some random sketch of nothing that spiked Félix’s interest, and considering Ladybug was sitting two rows in front and one row across, this certainly did. 

“Oh, this? It’s uh- it’s nothing,” Nathaniel said hurriedly. 

“That’s Ladybug, isn’t it?” Félix already knew the answer to his question, but Nathaniel looked like he was hiding something. 

“Well, um, yeah. She’s- I think she’s really cool, you know? Superhero and all that. She’s amazing,” Nathaniel smiled, avoiding Félix’s eyes. 

Félix squinted. Did he know who Ladybug was? He glanced down at the drawing again, this time taking note of the tiny pink hearts dotted around Ladybug’s face. _Ah. It’s a crush_. That made more sense. But then… nope, no way Nathaniel could interrupt his perfect Adrienette plan. 

“So…” Félix tried to think of possible conversation pointers that wouldn’t make Nathaniel incredibly embarrassed. “Is Ladybug a friend of yours?” He could see Marinette perking her ears up and giving him a look. Félix ignored her in favour of Tomato Boy, as he had just now decided to call him. It was an apt nickname, as Nathaniel often seemed to resemble a dark red shade, and that wasn’t even his hair. 

“Well, no…” Nathaniel rubbed his neck. His cheek was the same colour as a tomato, Félix noticed. He decided that he was very good at giving people nicknames. Perhaps Adrien would respond to ‘Sunshine Child’. Unless he was on another tangent, then Félix felt he’d do better without saying it. 

Marinette made a vaguely threatening cutting motion with one hand across her neck. Félix still ignored her. He was in the middle of a love-or-death situation here.

“Aren’t you friends with that other boy, though? What’s his name? The one who does comics.”

Nathaniel went a bit redder. “Oh, um, his name’s Marc,” he muttered. Félix grinned. Marinette sat back in her chair and looked confused. Félix was loving it. As if he’d ever try to derail Adrienette, he would never.  
“And what’s he like then?” He prompted. 

“He’s cool, I guess.” Tomato Boy was talking so softly that Félix could barely hear him. 

“Just cool?”

Tomato Boy blushed furiously and turned back to his sketch, the pencil lines darker than before, leaving little dents in the paper from where he’d pressed the point too hard.

 _Alright, fine. Keep your secrets_ , Félix thought.

Later, after class, Marinette pulled Félix over. “What was up with you and Nathaniel just then? He looked like you gave him a heart attack,” she hissed. 

“Nothing, nothing,” Félix said airily. “Just a little chit-chat between buddies, that’s all.”

Marinette stared at him with furrowed eyebrows. “I have literally no idea what you’re talking about,” she deadpanned. 

Félix hummed satisfactorily. “And I’m very grateful for that.” He breezed past Marinette, embarking upon a quest for a croissant because he was starving. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Darkness enveloped the room. There was such a severe lack of sound that someone who might have stumbled across the room (preposterous as that was) would have eventually begun to imagine a sound for the eerie silence that hung there like a shadow. That someone could also, within reason, compare it to deep space, given the heat, the light and the sound. There wasn’t any. 

_Click. Clack. Thump_. Heels tapping at the smooth floor that could be heard lightyears away. A solid sound punctuated the elegance of the heels, disrupting the rhythm that the person walked with. _Click-clack-thump_. The sound stopped. Once again, the room was silent. A dim blue light illuminated some of the space. Their face was still invisible. There was a flash of blue light.

“Gabriel Agreste still has no clue,” they said. There was a touch of amusement decorating the derision. “He has absolutely no idea who I am, why I did it.” Calm, factual, cutting.

“And he never will,” another voice continued. “He’ll never find us, and neither will Ladybug or Chat Noir. You laid the trap so excellently, they have no idea where to start.”

“Another akuma?” The first voice proposed. It sounded less like a question and more like a ‘just-letting-you-know’. 

“Sounds delightful,” the second voice agreed, in a way that two evil supervillains might clink glasses before plotting to take over the world.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Tikki?” Marinette leaned away from her sewing machine for the first time in two hours, having spoiled her back from the hunched-over position she was sitting in as she worked. “What do you think of this?” She held up a large glittery black t-shirt with a purple and yellow lightning pattern emblazoned across the front. 

“I think that Jagged Stone will love it,” Tikki said with a somewhat muffled voice, holding a cookie and trying to see how much of it she could fit in her tiny mouth. It wasn’t so much about the size of her stomach, but how wide she could open the bottomless hole in her face. So far, she had destroyed four cookies, and there were five left to go. Marinette didn’t think from looking at her that Tikki would be able to eat them without biting, but Tikki had taken ‘inhaling food’ to a whole new level. 

“Good,” Marinette sighed. “This shirt took ages to design.” She rubbed her forehead with her hand. “Hey, what do you think was up with Félix today? He was acting really weirdly around Nathaniel and me.”

“Maybe he thinks that Nathaniel has a crush on Ladybug?” Tikki suggested. 

“What? No, he already likes Marc, doesn’t he?”

“Maybe, but Félix doesn’t know that, and Nathaniel _was_ drawing you,” Tikki pointed out. 

Marinette thought it over. “So does he still like Ladybug? Because Reverser and Evillustrator were a pain to fight, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.”

“I’m sure Nathaniel won’t get akumatized again, you just need to consider how you talk to him as Ladybug.”

Marinette raised her eyebrows. “Why can’t I just completely avoid him like I would with Adrien?”

“You would completely avoid Adrien?” Tikki crossed her arms. “Don’t you think that’s just a teensy weensy bit of an overreaction?”

 

“Not if he has a crush on Ladybug!” Marinette exclaimed. 

“I mean, if you want my honest advice?” Marinette nodded. Tikki continued: “There is absolutely nothing you can do about it and if you see him as Ladybug you just need to act like a normal human being.”

“But have you seen me? That’s so much to ask for?” Marinette whinged. 

“How would you act if you didn’t think he had a crush on you?” Tikki posed a question. “What would you do then?”

“Again, knowing me, I would trip up over myself because I’m such a major klutz.”

“Marinette, you are a beautiful and strong young woman, and the only thing that’s stopping you from stealing the hearts of everyone in Paris in your civilian form is lack of confidence,” Tikki said firmly. 

Marinette was incredulous. “Everyone in Paris?” She echoed. “Who are you kidding? I’m just a normal girl.” She climbed up to her bed and curled under the thick blankets, pouting at Tikki when she flew over and settled on Marinette’s hand on top of the blankets. 

“No, Marinette! You’re Ladybug!” Tikki encouraged her. “I’m sure if you just asked Adrien out, he would totally go for it!”

Marinette went red. “But he only thinks of me as a friend,” she mumbled. 

“Sure, but what if you amazed him so much that he _didn’t_ think of you as a friend?” Tikki suggested. 

Marinette pondered it. “...You know what? That could possibly actually work.” 

Tikki snorted. “Only because I’m the greatest wingwoman ever.”

“What about Alya?” Marinette laughed. “Doesn’t she get an honourable mention?”

“If needs must,” Tikki sniffed. “But I’m still number one. She grabbed another cookie and wedged it in her mouth. Marinette giggled and patted her on the head. 

“Listen to me! I am the Gardener, and all of you will be my loyal plants!” A loud voice yelled. “Gardening has been mocked for far too long, and this is your reckoning!”

Marinette’s expression went from happy to horrified. “But I was going to nap,” she complained. 

“Akumas don’t wait for napping, Marinette,” Tikki told her.

Marinette sighed in exasperation. “Fine. Tikki, if you really must, spots on.” 

“Don’t give me that attitude, young lady!” Tikki’s voice faded out as she whizzed into the Miraculous. A moment later, and a grumpy Ladybug was vaulting out of Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s bedroom. _Maybe I can get Queen Bee and she can sting me so Chat Noir will spare me his plant puns out of pity_ , Ladybug thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is late, sorry, but in my defence, i spent the last seven hours doing sport and i'm just really lazy and tired and i got up at six am this morning. have fun with the nathmarc fluff while i go get myself some lunch. i'm thinking about having more of nathaniel and marc, what do you think?


	29. Gotta Watch Out For Those Dandelions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chloe time!

“Mother, I really don’t have the time to go shopping with you,” Chloe said for what was the first and hopefully last time in her life. 

“Nonsense!” Audrey Bourgeois exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “You, my dear, are in serious need of a makeover. Honestly, your current outfit is rather drab. I don’t think yellow is your colour.”

Chloe opened and closed her mouth like a fish. “What do you mean- yellow looks good on me!” She cried. She looked down at her clothes self-consciously. Nope, yellow was fabulous. _She_ was fabulous. 

“Chloe, what is the matter? Usually you’re the one begging me for shopping trips,” Audrey pouted. During her stay in Paris, Audrey had gotten almost bored of firing everyone she met who made a mishap. Chloe wasn’t surprised, it was bound to get repetitive at some point, but she herself had grown out of telling Jean-Luc-whatever that he was no longer working for her because now she actually had more important things to do. 

“I’m just working on my garden,” Chloe said shortly. Ever since meeting Pollen, Chloe had developed an aptitude for flowers. Pollen hadn’t seen them yet because she hadn’t been Queen Bee much lately, but as soon as Chloe got a chance to show her the flowers, Chloe was sure that she would love them. They were in a large pot with several stalks appearing recently. Chloe watered them every day and the packet said that when they bloomed, the flowers would be yellow, red, purple and pink, but then Chloe had bought a separate packet of only yellow flower seeds so that she could match her Queen Bee costume. She’d never put so much effort into a single thing in her life that wasn’t clothes or the latest trends, but Chloe was growing rather attached to the tiny flower buds. She had done a rather hefty amount of research (by her standards) on how to grow flowers, and she had learned that she actually needed to water them and put them somewhere with lots of sun, which was why they were situated on her balcony. 

“Really?” Audrey wrinkled her nose in disdain. “Don’t you get your hands dirty? There’s lots of… dirt in that pot.”

“I’ve got gloves, Mother,” Chloe waved the bright yellow things in Audrey’s face. “I’m not going to ruin my manicure or whatever, don’t worry,” she muttered bitterly.

“Oh! That reminds me, we should get a manicure together!” Audrey exclaimed. “Your nails are probably terrible right now, we’ve left them for far too long. Come on, it’ll be a mother-daughter-bonding experience!”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “No thanks.” She bent back down to her flowers. One of them, a little short thing which had taken longer than the others to form a bud, seemed to now be the first to bloom. The little petals were just visible past the green, and Chloe felt a little warmth bloom inside her at the friendly yellow that just peeked out. 

“Come on, Chloe, don’t be such a bore,” Audrey said impatiently. “It’ll be fun!”

“What I’m doing right now is fun,” Chloe retorted, then she lowered her voice so her mother couldn’t hear her, “or at least it is when I’m alone.”

Audrey wasn’t listening. She sighed loudly and dramatically, like Chloe was doing her a personal disservice by declining the offer to wait for three hours while her mother ran every business in the suburb out of business. “This is utterly ridiculous! Fine! Be like that. I’ll just go shopping by myself.” 

_At least then you won’t be critiquing every aspect of my clothes_ , Chloe thought sullenly. Her mother was an acquired taste, and very difficult for people to get along with if they’d just met her, spent too much time around her, or happened to be her daughter. Chloe had no idea how they were even related. “Utterly ridiculous,” she mumbled, pouring some more water on the yellow bud. 

~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello, m’lady, what’s new?” Chat Noir purred into his baton. 

“Chat, I swear if you make any puns…” Ladybug trailed off threateningly. “We’ve got an akuma situation at the Louvre. And guess what?” 

“What?” Chat was wearing a shit-eating grin. 

“It’s a gardener,” Ladybug sighed. 

Chat’s grin grew wider. “On my way, Bugaboo,” he smirked. “By the way, have I told you yet how _radishing_ you look today?”

Ladybug hung up. 

Chat met her a few minutes later at the Louvre, having some trouble spotting her through the giant chrysanthemums blocking his view. There were great big sprouts that had appeared out of nowhere from the ground, and they seemed to be getting bigger and bigger. 

“I am the Gardener! You will all be my plants!” A voice cut through Chat’s thoughts. _That’ll be the akuma_ , he grimaced. 

“Chat!” Ladybug yelled, looping her yo-yo around him and pulling him out of the way of a mean-looking sunflower. “Be careful!”

“But I can’t help being dangerous if you keep whisking me away, m’lady,” Chat sweet-talked her seamlessly. He had a very large arsenal of puns and pick-up lines, and despite all the ones he’d already used on LAdybug that had no effect whatsoever, he still had many to go. 

“Shut up, you stupid cat,” Ladybug said, ripping through the plants with her yo-yo like a knife through butter. She swung the yo-yo around and made it go at a speed too fast for Chat’s eyes to follow it, creating a path for them to go through. Chat still couldn’t see the akuma, though. 

“Any ideas?” Chat asked, ducking his head while trying to avoid a prickly cactus, covered in spikes and thorns that looked like they might tear through his suit if he were to touch it. It looked even more mean than the sunflower. “I can’t see the Gardener anywhere.”

“I’m working on it,” Ladybug replied, eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched up in the way she always was when she was thinking hard. “Is there anywhere she might be hiding? I don’t think she’s in the air, so there must be some giant green thing where she’s controlling all the plants.”

“On it,” Chat said, using his baton to push himself up through the cloud of menacing green things and hop on the top, where he could see the rest of Paris. It looked way more environmentally-friendly than the last time he’d seen it. The plants were really coming fast (like his pick-up lines). He could barely see the roofs of the buildings over the top of all the flowers and leaves, but the one thing that he could sure as hell see was a gargantuan green sphere hovering over the rest of the plants, not too far away. Maybe ten metres above the buildings and their respective gardening contests, it was a writhing mass of green that created a huge shadow, looming over civilians. 

Chat dropped back down through the thick stems and looked around for Ladybug. He couldn’t see her anywhere. “Ladybug!” He yelled anxiously. 

“Over here!” A voice called somewhere to his left. Chat immediately wove through the thick bushes towards the sound. “I think I figured out where the akuma is!”

“The giant ball in the sky?” Chat replied grimly. “Yeah, we shouldn’t _leaf_ that one alone.” He laughed at his own joke. Even in a crisis, he always had a good pun up his sleeve. Chat Noir was the undisputed master of puns. He could practically hear Ladybug’s disapproval. 

“Aha! Found you!” Ladybug said triumphantly, grabbing Chat’s hand and yo-yoing them up and out of the swarming green mass. “Thought you would be the one to find me, being a cat and all.”

“I think you've got your animals confused there, dogs are the ones who can sniff,” Chat replied. "Cats prefer to do their own thing." He gestured to the spherical green mass. “Shall we?”

“I believe we shall,” Ladybug said, holding her head up as she flew through the air towards the Gardener’s base. 

“Ladybug! Chat Noir! Give me your Miraculouses!” The Gardener yelled when he saw them hovering around the outside of the circle, trying to get in. He appeared to be floating inside the sphere on a little patch of moss that clung to his feet and legs. Ladybug wrenched two stems apart that were as thick and sturdy as tree trunks to get inside, but there was so much green inside that she didn’t have a much better view of the akuma than she did outside. He had the moss that he was standing on, with all the clothes of an average gardener, but he was holding a shovel! _That must be where the akuma is, Ladybug realised._

_“You’ll never get our Miraculouses as long as your grass keeps blocking my windows,” Chat said flippantly. “You may have your personal preferences, but I personally prefer to not have a pile of leaves where the Eiffel Tower’s supposed to be.”_

_“My garden will destroy the world!” The Gardener yelled._

_“Maybe you could give it a bit of a trim first?” Chat suggested, holding up his thumb and forefinger._

_“Never! Give me your Miraculouses, I’m growing tired of these charades!”_

_“Maybe if you keep growing you’ll get to outer space when we can’t hear you complaining about the same stuff. Miraculouses, Miraculouses, Miraculouses. Try not to recycle your material so much, Gardener. It’s getting old,” Chat snarked._

_The Gardener narrowed his eyes and banged his shovel. “Stop this at once!”_

_“You take the left and I’ll take the right?” Chat suggested. Ladybug nodded and ran up towards the Gardener, Chat following her lead and flanking the right._

_The Gardener frowned and held up the shovel. “I think you need a little… catnip!” He brandished the shovel towards Chat Noir and watched as green shoots that resembled mint came up and surrounded him. Ladybug stopped and watched, horrified, as Chat’s eyes glazed over and he took in a deep sniff._

_Chat took another deep breath and stretched his arms out languidly, yawning. He licked his lips and stared at the catnip surrounding him. Ladybug widened her eyes. Once, when she was extremely bored and had literally nothing better to do and was thinking about Chat Noir (though she would never mention anything to him), she had googled the effects of catnip. Sniffing it made cats act really weird, but it was used as a sedative when they ate it. If he ate it, he would fall fast asleep and be utterly useless in battle, and she would be on her own. “Chat!” She cried. “Don’t eat it!”_

_Chat’s eyes snapped to hers. “M’lady?” He asked, sounding confused. He was slurring slightly._

_The Gardener spoke up, taking a step towards Chat. “Give me your Miraculous, why don’t you?” He said, voice sweet as honey. Chat blinked, backed away and bared his teeth, struggling to function with all the catnip around him. Ladybug could tell that it was getting to his head._

_“Chat, don’t listen to him,” she urged, holding her hands out. “Come here, okay?”_

_Chat listened to her, edging closer but slowly, like he was nervous. Ladybug was sure that if either her or the Gardener made a loud noise, he’d go off like a rocket. The Gardener clenched his shovel tightly and pointed it at Chat again, causing the catnip to grow even more, twisting around Chat’s legs and locking him in place._

_Chat twitched. His resistance broke and he rubbed himself against the catnip, sniffing it and chewing on it a little before dropping to the floor and completely going unconscious. Ladybug shared a look with the Gardener before they both dove for his body; Ladybug got there first, pulling him away and yo-yoing herself away. With Chat unconscious, and a few strands of catnip stubbornly clinging to his legs, there was no way she’d be able to wake him up or get him to fight properly. He could barely stand before he was knocked out, she needed some extra help. _Master Fu_._

_Ladybug weaved through the streets of Paris while holding her unconscious partner, a feat that was difficult enough in itself without mentioning the akuma that was hot on her heels. She had to resort to ducking into somebody’s open window to get him off her scent, pressing a finger to her lips at the excited civilian inside who was gaping at her and waiting a few seconds before heading back out again. Just to be safe, she did this a couple more times as she got closer. The civilians weren’t getting any less excited._

_By the time she got to Master Fu’s shop, Ladybug had finally shaken off the Gardener, albeit still being able to hear his bellows of outrage and all the daisies that were popping up as a result of his rage. Ladybug had to admit, it was a very aesthetic anger outlet._

_“Master Fu!” Ladybug hissed through the door. “It’s Ladybug!”_

_Master Fu opened the door with his wizened old hands and stared at her. “What on earth is the matter with Chat Noir?” He asked._

_“No time, there’s an akuma nearby,” Ladybug replied. Fu nodded and beckoned her in and she gratefully ducked inside. She arrived in the living room and gently placed Chat Noir on a large and comfy armchair that didn’t fit in at all with the decor of the rest of the room._

_“So what’s the story?” Master Fu asked, once he had sat down in a tiny rocking chair and Ladybug had found herself a small wooden stool._

_“An akuma whose theme is gardening, plus a good dose of catnip,” Ladybug groaned, resting her face in her hands. Chat Noir mewed loudly and stretched his arms out, spreading across his chair like it was a palace. Ladybug sighed._

_“I assume you want to get some help from one of the other heroes?” Master Fu suggested, walking over to the silent gramophone on the floor. Ladybug nodded gratefully._

_“I think I could really use Chloe’s help with this one,” She thought aloud. “Queen Bee would probably have a knack for flowers, and she definitely wouldn't fall asleep because of catnip.”_

_“Very well,” Master Fu replied, already holding out the Bee Miraculous. He had a funny feeling as soon as Ladybug mentioned gardening that Mademoiselle Bourgeois would be the first choice, despite her... less than perfect track record. Several days ago, he had passed her by in a shopping mall, haggling a middle-aged lady for some expensive fertiliser. When she had refused, Mademoiselle Bourgeois had clearly had some difficulty not storming off, but she had restrained herself and paid for it anyway, which left Fu quite satisfied._

_“Thanks, Master Fu,” Ladybug smiled at him. She spared a glance for Chat Noir, who was gently snoozing, his chest rising and falling peacefully even as he muttered words in his sleep that were not, ahem, unrelated to Ladybug. Or croissants, there was definitely mention of pastries in there._

_“Will you look after him?” She asked him._

_“Of course, Ladybug. I’ll be right here, he’s fine,” Fu gave her the wise-old-man-who-knows-everything look._

_“I don’t want another cup of milk,” Chat Noir grumbled in his sleep. “Gimme some chocolate… or croissants. Yeah, I want a croissant,” he mumbled decisively. Ladybug laughed and exited, leaving Master Fu alone with Chat. He sat down slowly and picked up a pile of wool with two knitting needles sticking out of it and began to cross-stitch. Wayzz peeked his head out from behind his tea thimble and narrowed his eyes. He was almost certain that it had not been there before. Master Fu hummed a tune as Chat kept muttering about how diets were stupid._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now i'm going to take some time to completely edit the entire fic, which, considering that it's nearly 80k (?) words long is going to be very tedious. but yes, i am aware that there are an atrocious amount of continuity errors everywhere and sometimes it makes no sense, which is why i'm just gonna obliterate mistakes like i'm the terminator. idek what movie the terminator is from. is it just called the terminator? no idea. adios!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first MLB fic, so all constructive criticism is welcomed :) My updating schedule varies a bit but I'll usually do about 1-2 every week. If you want to follow me on Tumblr, my URL is uncoordinated-house-cat. please like and comment if you enjoy the story!


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